As much as I enjoyed the shaky-cam mayhem of Cloverfield, I'm pretty bummed about the idea of Matt Reeves helming a remake of the 2008 vampire film, Let the Right One In. Even before the original film had hit theaters stateside, there were deals in place for Reeves to remake the film for U.S. audiences -- and that's what has me worried. Whenever something is remade for North America, what it usually means is that a little 'sanitation' is in order. For better or for worse, audiences tend to react badly to seeing children in a decidedly non-childlike way, and that's what made The Right One so memorable. But I guess I better get used to the idea, because Reeves recently told the L.A. Times that he's been scouting locations and that a second draft of the script has already been completed and now has the new title, Let Me In.

Let the Right One In was the story of Oskar, a young boy living in the suburbs of Sweden who begins a friendship with a vampire child named Eli who has moved in next door. For Reeves' remake, he's kept the time period in the 80's, but relocated the story to Regan-era Colorado. Most importantly, he's promised that he won't be making his Oskar and Eli any older in an attempt to appeal to the 'Twilight Crowd', and the success of his remake will all come down to who Reeves casts for his two leads. The director has already started working with Avy Kaufman to try and find the perfect cast, and luckily, Kaufman has experience when it comes to casting 'creepy kids', having been the casting director for The Sixth Sense and The Ice Storm.

After the jump: the original film's director and screenwriter give their two cents...

You probably remember that a little over a year ago, the news hit that Leonardo DiCaprio would be producing a live action version of the beloved anime, Akira, and as to be expected, fans were peeved. Within minutes, comment boards (including ours) were jammed with cries of white-washing, racism, and general predictions of overall crappiness. But, if you happen to have been one of those fans crying for blood; I've got some good news for you. Bloody Disgusting now reports that the live-action Akira has been pronounced "Dead as a doornail" by not one, but two inside sources -- I guess we should have seen this coming when the film was promised to be released in 2009, and there wasn't a signed cast member in sight.

For those not familiar with Akira, it was the story of a teen biker gang member who is subjected to government experiments and unleashes destruction on a post-nuclear Tokyo. Ruairi Robinson had originally been slated to direct a script by Gary Whitta (Book of Eli), but DiCaprio had promised that they wouldn't be moving ahead with Akira until they had a quality script, so maybe Whitta could have been the source of the delay. Either way, I guess we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Tetsuo and the gang are safe from the monster known as 'reboot fever'...at least for now, anyway.

After the jump; status reports on other classic anime in line for a Hollywood makeover...

Film School Rejects is reporting that Kevin Eastman, co-creator of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, has spilled some major beans on the remake of Heavy Metal, the totally over-the-top 1981 sci-fi flick full of boobies, violence, and, some might say, awesomeness.

Eastman wrote Heavy Metal 2000, which stars former Penthouse Pet Julie Strain, who is also, incidentally, Eastman's ex-wife. She also voiced Heavy Metal 2000 and starred in the Heavy Metal F.A.K.K.2 video game. Eastman told FSR,

"I've got breaking news that Fincher and James Cameron are going to be co-executive Producers on the film. Fincher will direct one. Cameron will direct one. Zack Snyder is going to direct one and Gore Verbinski is going to. Mark Osborne and Jack Black from Tenacious D are going to do a comedy segment for the film. Three other directors have agreed but we haven't signed them, but they're equally as jaw-dropping. So we're on cloud nine to be working with such an amazing amount of talent."

Will Heavy Metal benefit from a high-tech remake? Or was part of its appeal the cheesiness of the original? More importantly, will Dio have a part in the Tenacious D segment?

You know, there really isn't any point complaining about Hollywood remaking old TV shows into movies -- why, you may ask? Well, mainly because it seems like it's going to happen no matter what we do. So while I understand when fans get a little bent out of shape when their favorite show is next in line for a 're-imagining'; for the life of me, I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to get all protective over 21 Jump Street. Last year the news broke that Jonah Hill was writing an adaptation of the cult TV show, and immediately there was an outcry that he would be turning their beloved series into a comedy. But, for fans of the teen cop drama, there is still hope, because in a recent interview with Complex, Hill gave an update on his remake and told them that "[Sony execs said] they were gonna let me make my kind of movie-an R-rated, insane, Bad-Boys-meets-John Hughes-type movie-and I told them the second they don't, I'm not gonna be involved anymore," -- and Hill has proven already that he has no qualms about walking away from projects that aren't working for him.

After the jump; so what exactly does Hill have planned for his Jump Street remake?

The original Buffy was a silly early '90s flick featuring Kristy Swanson, dreamy Luke Perry as her BF Pike, Rutger Hauer as the bad vamp about town Lothos, a post-Pee Wee Paul Reubens as one of his henchmen, and Donald Sutherland as a told-ya-so! dude named Merrick who warned her she was a predestined kicker of vampire ass. Blink-and-miss-it cameos include Hilary Swank, Ben Affleck, gossip columnist Liz Smith, David Arquette, and Ricki Lake. Really.

Now Buffy is getting a 21st century transfusion with help from the original director Fran Rubel Kuzui and producer Kaz Kuzui to create "what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel," according to Hollywood Reporter. So with that very oblique description in mind, it looks like this will be a sort of different incarnation of Buffy -- a different vampire "warrior" for a different generation. One with "franchise potential," of course. The Kuzuis are working with Vertigo Entertainment, aka Roy Lee and Doug Davison, which is responsible for many US remakes of Asian films like The Grudge, Dark Water, The Eye, and upcoming adaptations of Death Note, the Spielberg-Smith vehicle Oldboy, and Battle Royale. They're also remaking Creepshow.

Joss Whedon wrote the script for the original Buffy, although he's more famous for his feminist-y take on it in the long-running Sarah Michelle Gellar series. He will, however, not be involved with the new Buffy. Good luck to whomever they're bringing in to revamp this iconic chick because she or he has some big shoes to fill. Or it's entirely possible one of the many, many Buffy-philes might have a go at 'em with a big, pointy stake. Either way.

As far Joss? Well, Dr. Horrible's Twitter only says "Oy... http://bit.ly/gwmRt" If anyone would like to confirm if this is Joss's real Twitter account or not, we're all ears.

When it comes to a franchise as beloved as Star Trek, I suppose it's important to let people know where you stand, right at the beginning: I never was able to get into the original Star Trek series (probably because I'd already been indoctrinated into the Star Wars religion), but I knew enough to become a big fan of the first three cinematic adaptations. I think The Motion Picture is a fine (if slightly overlong) re-awakening of the franchise, and I'm a big fan of both The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock. The rest of the features are slight and forgettable (at best) or drearily familiar, which is slightly annoying because I absolutely adore The Next Generation on the small screen. On the big one? Not so much.

But beyond the impact and popularity of a lone franchise, I'm just a huge science fiction fan. Anything that can delve deep into the future and dazzle me with something flashy or fascinating is a good thing indeed. But what makes Star Trek such a long-lasting and rabidly adored franchise is that it goes beyond simple "alien adventures" and touches upon ideas, questions, and issues that we always contend with in the "real" world. If you have to travel 100,000 miles and deal with purple aliens to make a clever point about, say, racism, then let's hear it for basic-yet-admirable subtext. So yes, Star Trek has always been a smart, insightful, and topical space adventure, but this time out ... it's mostly just fun.

Yes, it's an all-new reboot of one of the most beloved series of all time. Which means director J.J. Abrams and his filmmaking crew are walking on very thin ice. True, it's not like the Star Trek series has never seen a bad film, but when you're retro-fitting a mega-franchise in very loud and expensive fashion ... the fans take notice. And they're not afraid to call bullshit at the drop of a hat or a crack in the canon, which is part of what makes the new Star Trek such a pleasant surprise. Not only did they "pull it off," but they've done so in rather grand fashion: This is the best Trek since Khan got all wrathful and such.

Now here's a crafty bit of casting news that should make the horror hounds happy: Latino Review caught wind a while ago, and Bloody-D got on the case most recently, so while this news is not yet OFFICIAL*, I'm making a judgment call on this one: Jackie Earle Haley is going to be playing Freddy Krueger in Sam Bayer's upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Speaking as only one guy (one guy who's seen all** of Haley's work and all of the Elm St. flicks three times each), I'm going to say it now: This is an EXCELLENT choice!

Obviously Jackie Earle Haley has the acting chops to carry a dark, devious, devilish villain -- but, in the right light and coated with the appropriate goo, this guy makes for one SCARY-looking mofo. Comic bookworms know Mr. Haley as Rorschach of the Watchmen, art-housers recall his chilling turn in Little Children, and a whole bunch of us remember his flick-stealing performance in Steve Zaillian's All the King's Men.

But *ahem* old people like me still know (and love) Jackie from his monumentally colorful performances in Breaking Away, Losin' It, and all three Bad News Bears flicks. I call this great news for the horror faithful, and yet another feather in the cap of a damn good actor who vanished from Hollywood -- and then "came back" with both guns blazing. One expects (nay, demands) a nice little role for the awesome Robert Englund, but if Haley is indeed the new Krueger, then my confidence in this remake has just doubled.

Please forgive the feigned enthusiasm of the slug, but really: A remake of Missing in Action? More like a remake of "Generic War Hero Movie Rambo Copycat." But I digress. All things cinematically '80s are making a comeback these days, and with Rambo getting some fresh sequels, it only makes sense that the other guys will start popping their heads out of the foxholes. Yep, according to this rather entertaining blog entry at THR, MGM and World Wrestling Entertainment (that's a guess) are concocting an all-new version of Missing in Action. And no, we're not going back to Vietnam.

Of course this is not WWE's first foray into films: They also gave you See No Evil, The Marine, The Condemned and the upcoming 12 Rounds. Oh, and Behind Enemy Lines 3: Colombia. (Any movie with a wrestler in it, basically.) Our source also indicates that the MIA remake will be produced for the DVD market and also spring from the collective pen of Jeremy Passmore and Andre Fabrizio. who recently delivered the admirably weird Special ... so this seems like quite the genre leap.

But really, if we're at the point where we're remaking Chuck Norris movies, then snark is pretty much pointless. Just give me a half-decent action movie with a ton of good mayhem, and I'll be a happy guy for 82 to 88 minutes. And hey, while they're at it, why not bang out the prequel / sequel remakes at the same time? Saves money that way! Now all they need is a director and lead wrestler.

It's been a few years since we were last treated to a Barry Sonnenfeld film, and considering that the guy's most recent efforts were Men in Black 2, Big Trouble, and RV ... well, we can be forgiven if we're not screaming for a comeback. But it looks like the cinematographer-turned-director has found inspiration in the recent Korean hit Scandal Makers.

According to Variety, the comedy "centers on a philandering pop singer whose life is turned upside-down when he discovers that he has a daughter and a grandson," which creates visions of a Disney version starring Dwayne Johnson, Anne Hathaway, and whichever Breslin kid happens to be two years old right now. Mr. Sonnenfeld will be producing as well as directing, and he's presently looking to hook up with a studio (and probably a screenwriter).

And just so he doesn't think we don't respect him, we'll remind the Cinematical readers that Barry Sonnenfeld ALSO directed The Addams Family, Get Shorty, and the first Men in Black, which I didn't dig but everyone else did. Plus it's virtually impossible to knock the man who shot Raising Arizona. Maybe a sequel to RV would change my mind...

For a while there it looked like we might actually (eventually) get a movie called House of Re-Animator from director Stuart Gordon. But, as is often the case, nifty ideas often get replaced by more pressing issues, and so it's not a huge shock to learn that instead of another sequel, it might just be remake time. And these guys better not eff around, because Re-Animator is one of my top ten horror flicks of all time. Yes, seriously.

According to the Rotten dude at Shock, producer Ray Haboush is looking to work with longtime horror guy Brian Yuzna, who's got a whole lot of experience with the Re-Animator franchise. Info-wise, that's all we have so far, so don't bother asking about the potential involvement of Stuart Gordon or Jeffrey Combs (oooh, or Barbara Crampton, who is STILL a doll). More details as they become available, and hey: At least we know it won't be some PG-13 baby-scare affair. At least it freaking better not be.

Given Yuzna's involvement, it seems likely that this remake will stick closer to the original film ... or maybe the producers will go back to the H.P. Lovecraft source material and dig up something fresh. Oh, and here's a shocker: Early word is that the Re-Animator re-do will arrive in 3-D fashion. Didn't see that coming.