I always like to pick up the stories no one else wants to write about. Partly because a story like this is sure to generate more than a few hateful comments, and I simply don't want any of my fellow Cinematical team members to feel the wrath. I like it when commenters say they hate me -- I don't know why; maybe I should see someone about that. Anyway, here's what I will not do in this post: 1) I will not link directly to the spoilers and 2) I will not give anything extremely important away. I will however include some minor spoilers, and will tell you when so you fans can stop reading at that point. Fair enough? With just about four days until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows hits bookstores, someone has leaked pretty much everything online. And unlike previous "leaks" (which I can say were completely false, according to this latest info), this person backs up everything with screenshots of the book, and actually offers up a lengthy Q&A explaining exactly what happens in great detail. Oh yes, this puppy is the real deal.

The good news is that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will make for one helluva final film. I've shared the info with someone who has read the books and watched the films (because I haven't), and they were pretty beside themselves. Begin Spoilers. You've been warned. The spoilers are starting now. Look away. When J.K Rowling said that two characters were going to die, it appears she wasn't lying. However, more than two characters die (some good and some bad), and the deaths that do occur will hurt. There are thirty-six chapters in the book, including an epilogue. The last chapter in the book is titled The Flaw in the Plan. And while I will not ruin the epilogue for you, let's just say Rowling ends the story for good. I'm going to stop there; if you're interested in knowing what happens, that info is now available online. Find Jeffrey; he knows. Happy hunting.

UPDATE: Folks are already providing major spoilers in the comments section of this post, so read at your own risk.

While folks frantically try to uncover the plot and title for Indiana Jones 4, IESB has arrived with some pretty big news ... if it's true. Up until now, we were pretty positive this would be the final installment in the Indiana Jones franchise, with Shia LaBeouf potentially coming back as Indy's son in a future spin-off installment. Well, according to a "very well respected Paramount studio source" LaBeouf has signed a four-picture deal to reprise his current role in three more Indy-related films. Not only that (and here's the big shocker), but IESB also claims that Harrison Ford signed a three-picture deal, meaning he'll show up (all old and whatnot) as Indiana Jones in two more flicks. Now I'd like to tell you to take this all with a grain of salt (which you should), but know that IESB says their source is "as solid as a rock."

The LaBeouf stuff I can believe, but I never in a million years expected Ford to sign on for more films after this one -- mainly because I wouldn't think Steven Spielberg would be directing, and also because the guy is getting a tad old. And do they really want to stretch this series out into seven films? The first three are such classics, and I have high hopes for the fourth. But three more?! They've got to be kidding. Apparently not. Of course there's always a chance Paramount will wait to see how Indiana Jones 4 does (as well as how much people like LaBeouf's character) before making the move on any additional installments. And there's also a chance Ford's contract only calls for cameo roles, instead of full-on stunt action. But since Ford has never been a "cameo actor," I can't see him agreeing to show up for five minutes to give his son a mission, then bail. Regardless, what do you think about three more Indiana Jones films? Would you be down for that much Indy, or do you want to wait to see the fourth flick before answering?

Chalk this one up as a rumor right now, even though Moviehole feels pretty confident that it's "going to hit the trades any second now." According to the site, Angelina Jolie has been offered a role opposite Pierce Brosnan in The Topkapi Affair, a sequel to Brosnan's Thomas Crown Affair remake from 1999. Loosely based on the 1964 crime caper Topkapi, The Topkapi Affair will once again follow Thomas Crown (Brosnan) as he attempts to steal some sort of priceless jewel from the Topkapi museum in Istanbul. From there, we're not sure what happens -- but as Brosnan told Moviehole a few months back, "This version of Topkapi will have a different part, different woman, and different affair ... and we're using wonderful locations."

And if everyone has their way, Angelina Jolie will be playing that different woman. In the first film (no, not the Steve McQueen flick), Rene Russo played Brosnan's lover; a part which had the gal don her birthday suit for the first time on the big screen. Of course, folks are already conjuring up a number of naked Jolie images in their heads; hoping she follows in Russo's footsteps. And who can blame them? Personally, if they're going to shell out the dough for Jolie, then I would assume they'll also try to find a way to make the film PG-13. Sorry, but that's the way it is these days. But also keep in mind that Jolie has said that, after filming Clint Eastwood's The Changeling, she's going to take a year off to spend time with her family. So, either the powers that be are looking for a way to convince her otherwise or they're willing to wait for the mega star to get some much-needed down time. As soon as we hear more, you'll be the first to know ...

Though Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has dabbled in video game adaptations (Doom) and big-budget fantasy flicks (The Scorpion King), surprisingly, he has yet to try on a superhero costume. But that might change, as the actor has expressed interest in playing Captain Marvel for the upcoming big-screen adaptation of Shazam! And while I'm certainly curious to see how they plan to take some scrawny 10 year-old kid and turn him into The Rock after muttering that oh-so magical word, I do think the dude is a much better choice than, say, Jake Gyllenhaal. (Of course, there are thousands of teenage girls who might think otherwise -- Jake, we love you!!)

In speaking with IGN, Rock admits that director Peter Segal has already lodged the Captain Marvel nugget in his head. He says, "Listen, John August is writing the script. He's a tremendous writer and [I'll] wait for the script to come in. But I would love to work with Pete [Segal] again, and certainly I've loved everything John August has written so it's a strong possibility." I love how he opens the sentence with "Listen ...," as if he's going to follow it up with "And if you have a problem with that then we can step outside." For those who aren't aware, The Rock is currently starring alongside Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway in Get Smart; a film that is also being helmed by Segal -- hence the reason why the question was asked.

When asked whether Captain Marvel would be a "man in tights" or if Segal was going to update the superhero's look, The Rock lifted one eyebrow (okay, I'm not sure that he did this, but it makes the story sound better) and replied: "Well, knowing Pete he would update [it]. [Segal]'s very excited about the project and understandably so, and he talks about it with passion. Pete also understands the importance of making sure to get that right. He's a big comic book fan. I don't know if you know that." Actually, I didn't know that; then again, there have been other directors who were so-called "big comic book fans," but their movies didn't exactly turn out so great. However, I have faith that John August will a) turn in a fine script and b) let us all know, through his blog, whether or not The Rock rumor is a valid one.

The rumor mill began buzzing last week when Laura Dern told folks at a press junket that Steven Spielberg wants her back for Jurassic Park IV. Dern, who played Sam Neill's long-time girlfriend in the original film, claimed to know nothing about the story, only that her character is featured and the film would most likely hit theaters in 2008. But just when you thought progress was being made, MTV News reports that director Joe Johnston (the dude who helmed Jurassic Park III) will not be returning to helm the fourth installment, contrary to reports that claimed the guy was already attached.

In speaking with Johnston's reps, they apparently told MTV that he is "definitely not directing" Jurassic Park IV. This, after Spielberg said last year that Johnston was his "go-to Jurassic guy." Is it just me, or is there something fishy brewing over there on dinosaur island? Why would Johnston turn down the film after Spielberg offered it to him on a silver platter? Not that I'm all in the know or anything, but isn't there a golden rule in Hollywood that states you must obey Steven Spielberg's orders at all costs? And if you don't, well, then you either melt like the witch that you are or appear next to Andy Richter in one of his many successful sitcoms. Pick your poison Mr. Joe Johnston. And choose wisely.

When Dern was asked who she thought should helm Jurassic Park IV, the actress cleverly mentioned her greatest admirer (and newly elected president of the Laura Dern fan club?), David Lynch. Ha, could you even imagine Lynch directing Jurassic Park IV? Not only would it take four years to make, but by the time it was all said and done, those dinosaurs would become large bunny rabbits and no one would understand a damn thing. Good call Dern, but I can't see it happening in this lifetime. So, if Johnston is out, who would you choose to take his place (and please people, stop using the name Sam Raimi for everything!)?

Oooh, the rumor mill is hopping a bit today with an interesting piece of Dark Knight casting news that may or may not be true. As per usual, you'll have to take the following with a huge grain of salt. Apparently, an unnamed independent writer-producer was interested in casting Sarah Michelle Gellar in one of his (or her) upcoming films, which starts shooting this May. However, Gellar's reps ultimately turned down the offer saying that the film could conflict with her schedule for Batman. Um, really? That's news to all of us! Has Sarah Michelle Gellar secretly signed on to star in The Dark Knight? And if so, who is she playing?

If it is indeed true, then that probably means we're looking at two major female roles. We already know that Maggie Gyllenhaal has signed on to star, and that she's replacing Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. Hmm, perhaps that means Gellar would play ... Harley Quinn. Regardless, two females probably means Harley Quinn will indeed be a character in the film. Quinn originated during the Batman animated series, but her backstory wasn't revealed until the 1994 graphic novel Mad Love. The novel explains that Quinn was a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum where she volunteered to evaluate The Joker. She later fell in love with the maniac, helped him escape from the Asylum and became his partner-in-crime.

In my opinion, Gellar is at her best when she plays devilish characters (see: Cruel Intentions). So -- and I'm probably in the minority here -- I think she'd be great as Harley Quinn. Cinematical attempted to contact Gellar's reps for a comment, though as of now we haven't yet heard back. Everyone is keeping real quiet on this one -- but, if we hear more, you'll be the first to know.

[via AICN]

Okay, where in the world did this one come from? Well, we know where the rumor came from (Teletext UK) and who picked it up (our friends from FilmRot), but if it is indeed true then how come there hasn't been an explosion yet here in the States? Wait, let me back up for a minute: According to a story in Teletext UK, it appears as if folks finally found their Magnum P.I. Not only that, but a director is attached, a cast is set and a release date of Summer 2008 has been slapped on to seal the deal!

Um, perhaps I should back up even more: See, Hollywood has been attempting to bring the TV show Magnum P.I. to the big screen for quite awhile now, with folks like Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Vince Vaughn circling the project at one point. Needless to say, none of you liked those choices -- in fact, the Clooney rumor really pissed people off. Shut it down. Turn it off. Months go by ... and, now, here comes Matthew McConaughey to save the day. America's number one stud and the perfect (in my opinion) choice to take over a role owned and originated by the ultra cool Tom Selleck.

Teletext UK also informs us that Rawson Marshall Thurber (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story) has been tapped to direct (off his own re-write of the script) with Steve Zahn and William H. Macy returning for a little Sahara reunion to play Rick and Higgins respectively. If that's not enough to whet your Magnum appetite, then I should also tell you that (apparently) Tyrese Gibson has signed on to play the role of T.C. All I can say about that is ... wow. For now, we'll officially chalk this one up as a rumor, but it's the best news I've heard about this project yet. What do you think?

Now that the role of Joker is unofficially in the hands of Heath Ledger, rumors are heating up regarding the other major baddie in Christopher Nolan's Untitled Batman Begins Sequel. Harvey Dent, Gotham's young assistant D.A. ultimately transforms into one of Batman's greatest villains -- Two Face. Word is Dent will not become Two Face until the third film, making it so whoever signs up for the role must do so for at least two films.

So far, a ton of names have been mentioned: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Josh Lucas and Jake Gyllenhaal, to name a few. Personally, I think it would be hilarious if Gyllenhaal nabbed the role -- Brokeback Batman, anyone? The latest name being circulated around the Bat-cave is that of Crash star and Mr. Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillippe. Ugh. Actually, make that a double ugh.

Yes, I'm one of those people who cannot stand Ryan Phillippe. Besides the fact he is as boring as they come, the guy just can't act. Once past those pretty-boy looks, it's all empty space. Ledger I can deal with, however, I draw the line with Phillippe. Please. I beg you. Don't do it.

[via Moviehole]

If this isn't some warped joke then we're in for some serious trouble, folks. According to Hollywood News, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are set to team up in a new action film, which is said to begin filming as soon as the good Governor finishes his term in office. While, at one point, a long, long time ago, the two were considered A-list action stars, they've never actually appeared in a film together. Though this would surely be a milestone of some kind, isn't it, um, a little too late?

Okay, this is where the story really got me - apparently the name of the film is Brutal Deluxe. Seriously. No, I'm not making that up. How could I? It's too funny. Please, someone come tell us this is a joke. I mean, the damn thing sounds like a bad sequel to some early 90's Van Damme flick. Now, I wouldn't mind the two of them starring in an action comedy, maybe about a couple of old farts who, for some reason, have to save the world...but can't get off their fat ass. That would be funny. That would work. Yes, change the title to Hamburger Deluxe and we got ourselves a highly anticipated film. However, right now, I'm chalking this rumor up to be extremely false.

[via The Movie Blog]

If we learned anything from this entire rumor, it would be to never trust Michael Keaton. Not long ago, we reported on a story about a guy who approached Michael Keaton during dinner for an autograph and walked away from the conversation with some pretty interesting information. At the time, according to Keaton, Tim Burton was working on a script for Beetlejuice 2 and that, as soon as everyone was free, the project would move forward.

Well, turns out we were all Punk'd. IESB recently interviewed Burton and asked him whether or not there was any real truth behind a sequel to Beetlejuice. After laughing the question off, he politely responded that he was not working on a script, but figured someone out there was. In fact, he was convinced he had an evil twin confirming projects that never existed. Ahem...that would be us. Okay, so if there's no Beetlejuice sequel, perhaps he'll revisit another one of his classic films?

Um, no. When asked if he would ever consider a sequel to films like The Nightmare Before Christmas and/or Edward Scissorhands, Burton axed those rumors real fast claiming they were more personal and wanted to keep them as pure as possible. However, he did mention how fond he was of Edgar Allan Poe and left open the door to a Poe project in the near future. Currently, Burton is working on Believe It or Not, to which there is still no star attached. The director claims it is way too early for any casting decisions, though I'd suspect either Johnny Depp or Jim Carrey will nab the part.

• The internets are alive with the undeniable fact rumor that Leonardo DiCaprio and Lindsay Lohan (she's out of the hospital, by the way, but Leo might have visited her!) are a couple. Dare we hope? If this turns out to be true, I'm convinced that the tabloids will spontaneously combust from the gossip potential alone.
• I'm sure that, just like all the other really cool kids, you've already laid down your $190,000 for reservations on a Virgin Galactic trip to space. Seated by your side and you put your life in Richard Branson hands will reportedly be such cutting edge celebs as William Shatner (too...many...Trek...jokes), Moby and, yes, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I wonder if her kids will be his kids by that point. Why, maybe they could get some sort of bulk space discount!
  
• Speaking of Brad Pitt, he shaved! Good lord, the man looks about 20 years old. When was the last time we saw him without scruff of some kind, anyway? 1984?
• In today's breakup news, Hilary Swank and hubby Chad Lowe are separating after eight years together. Don't fret, though - they're going to try to work things out. I will control myself and not write anything snide here about her career outshining his, or her being able to utterly kick his ass. Instead, I'll just say that it's always sad to hear about the death of love. Sigh.
• Finally, it just came out that Steven Spielberg was totally pissed when Kathy Griffin made a funny about Dakota Fanning being in rehab. Sadly, his threat to put Griffin on a scary-sounding Dreamworks "list" did nothing but win him a brutal mocking. Well hey, Spielberg's new to the biz. Maybe someday he'll learn just how wild and crazy these comics can get.