The freakishly amusing British import known as Severance and I have a rather colorful history together. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll explain how. In September of 2006 I saw the film at the Toronto Film Festival. (I even wrote a little bit about it on this very blog. And then I reviewed it for a different website.) A few weeks later I saw the film again at the Alamo Drafthouse's (awesome) Fantastic Fest. It was there that I got to meet Jimmy Moran, the crazy bloke who wrote Severance. He mentioned that he'd read my comments, appreciated the kind words, and that he'd like to drink several beers with me. And drink we did.

Then a few weeks ago the producer of the South By Southwest Film Festival asked me if I'd write up the "festival guide synopsis" for Severance, and so I did. During the festival I introduced the film to 300 raving gorehounds. Far as I could tell, they all liked the flick a whole lot. So that's three Severance screenings at three separate festivals, a new friend in the screenwriter and a bunch of fun stuff on the side. (Plus it'll be there when I cover next month's Philadelphia Film Festival. I just cannot escape this movie!) Basically, me and Severance go way back. But what I remember most from that first screening way back in Toronto is this: "Damn, this is a fun movie."

Even though the UK got their native Severance way back in August (with the R2 DVD due next week), we Yanks won't get to see it in theaters until April 6th -- unless Magnolia Pictures bumps the release date because, well, that's the day Grindhouse is opening. Various fest-goers have already been able to enjoy Christopher Smith's twisted little horror flick (myself included), but the Average Joe horror geek will have to wait until Magnolia (finally) unleashes the goods.

In the meantime you can head over to The Film Asylum and check out one nifty little clip from the flick, although I'm a little bit bummed; this snippet represents one of the most surprisingly amusing moments in the film, and it kinda stinks to have it ruined before you see the movie. Oh well, it's still funny. Enjoy. (There's also a trailer that's certainly worth watching.)

The flick stars the hilarious Danny Dyer, the luminous Laura Harris and a whole bunch of Brits you might not recognize -- but that doesn't stop 'em from being quite amusing before they're stalked, staked and hacked to death by a bunch of ravenous freakoes deep in the mountains of Eastern Europe.

Oh, and there's a bear.

If there's one thing the media really loves to do, it's lump a bunch of barely-connected people into an ill-fitting group -- and then give that group a clever name. Whether it's The Rat Pack, The Brat Pack or The Splat Pack, I just get irked whenever a new "pack" makes it into the cultural lexicon. Oh, you're not familiar with that last one? Yeah, it's a moniker that's been given to a bunch of "new" horror filmmakers, one that seems to imply that these guys get together every weekend to smoke weed and watch Halloween 2 together.

According to a recent article in Time Magazine, one that seems to approach horror flicks the same way a prissy schoolmarm would approach some inappropriate comic books, the members of "The Splat Pack" are Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, Hostel), Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, The Descent), Alex Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes), Rob Zombie (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects), and James Wan, Leigh Whannell and Darren Lynn Bousman of the Saw trilogy. (Apparently Wolf Creek director Greg McLean was part of the original pack, although he goes unmentioned in the Time article, probably because he hasn't made much money yet.)

But what do these guys have in common, really, other than the fact that they all make horror flicks? I see Americans, Brits, Aussies and a Frenchman in the mix, and while some of the guys are fresh-faced and 20-something, guys like Roth have been toiling away in backstage anonymity for years. Plus, c'mon, Rob Zombie is 42 years old, so how exactly does he tie in with these kids? And why is it that Neil Marshall never seems to be quoted in these articles? Is he just included because his horror movies are ... GOOD? Apparently the Splat Pack label was created by Alan Jones of Total Film, and I'm sure the guy's an absolute expert on horror flicks -- but labels create limits, exclusions and oversights. And, ultimately, articles like this one, I suppose. (Either way, I bet Jones bangs out a book called The Splat Pack by the end of 2008.)

The UK's Christopher Smith (Creep, Severance) is young and horror-heavy, so why isn't he a member of The Pack? Shouldn't (Dawn of the Dead screenwriter, Slither director) James Gunn be one of the den mothers? Lucky McKee has made only two feature films (May and The Woods), but they're both downright excellent pieces of horror. Why's he not a member? Uwe Boll's done a bunch of horror flicks that could be accurately described as " laden with torture," so why not throw him an invitation? You want a guy who loves the word splat? Try Jake West, the guy who directed Evil Aliens. Plus I read another article a while back in which Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) was considered a member of The SP! Now, if that guy can be considered some sort of "future of horror," I'll eat my hat.

The common themes among the Splat Packers are ... what? They all like horror movies, they don't shy away from intense chills, harsh themes or copious gore, and they're all carbon-based life forms, I guess. But really: Does anyone out there think the work of Eli Roth is even remotely similar to that of Neil Marshall? Does a Rob Zombie flick remind you of what was seen in, say, High Tension? I mean, if you're going to define a term, then define it. And as a big fan of just about all these movies, I just gotta scratch my head when I hear these guys lumped together in one basket.

And what happens when guys like Ryan Schifrin (Abominable), Adam Green (Hatchet), J.T. Petty (S&Man) Scott Glosserman (Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon), Jon Levine (All the Boys Love Mandy Lane) and Adam Mason (Broken) start to make their way up the ranks? Will we have the arrival of Splat Pack 2: The New Generation? Back in the late '70s/early '80s, did we need a goofy little heading to remember names like Carpenter, Hooper, Craven, Dante, Landis and Cunningham?

Ultimately, I have no real point. I'd just seen the phrase "Splat Pack" one too many times and felt the need to vent. Opposing viewpoints are welcome, as long as they agree with my own opinions.

The official Cinematical presence at the 2006 Fantastic Fest was the wonderful Jette Kernion, and I think she managed to bang out about eight reviews ... while the fest was still running! I saw JK everywhere, from the queues to the parties to the local barbecue pits. Frankly I think her coverage rocked the house, and I'm not just saying that because she let me butt in line with her for The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell.

But since the FF guys were cool enough to welcome Cinematical with such eerily open arms, I figure it's only right to share my favorite movies, moments and memories of mayhem from the 2006 FantFest. And so I shall.

The Best Flicks

Simon Rumley's seriously disturbing The Living and the Dead, the Swedish vampire flick Frostbite, Adam Green's fun-time slasher throwback Hatchet, William Friedkin's compellingly intense Bug and the quietly cool haunted Brit flick Lie Still. I also had an unexpectedly good time with Mel Gibson's Apocalypto -- and although I'd already seen Abominable, The Host, The Fountain, Pan's Labyrinth and Severance, they're all films I have no problem recommending. Oh, and William H. Macy's performance in Edmond ... wow.

I also trekked away from the festival to enjoy a good portion of Feast -- which was negated by my plane ride home. Lindsay Lohan's Just My Luck was the in-flight movie, and that flick packs perhaps the worst screenplay I've dealt with in three years. Stunningly bad.

Oh, and right before I nodded off every night, I watched just a little bit more of The Office: Season 2. If you don't watch this show, you're plain old robbing yourself of multiple peals of bulky laughter. And why would you want to do that?

Most of the celebrities are gone, the parties are notably less funky, and the throngs of jaywalkers on Bloor Street have trickled down to a steady drip -- but the Midnight Madness continues! (Case in point: Even with the festival winding down, J.T. Petty's S&MAN still had a powerful debut and Q&A session!) Update #3 (of 4, in case you were wondering) offers a taste of British slash-stick, French freakiness, and Canadian carnage.

Severance -- Here's a movie I quite enjoyed; I laughed at the funny bits, I cringed at the gooey gore-geysers, and I even got spooked once or twice. So why did I leave the theater feeling slightly underwhelmed? Probably because the early buzz from across the pond (and various other film festivals) was that Christopher Smith's Severance is "the next Shaun of the Dead" -- which it most certainly is not. (Frankly I wish people would stop using the phrase "X is the next Y," but then all the publicists would go out of business.) The flick's about a group of weapon-making co-workers who go on a "team-building" retreat ... only to see their teammates picked off by a rather nastily creative stalker. Suffice to say Severance is broadly amusing, satisfyingly splattery, and just clever enough to appease the demanding genre freaks -- and that's good enough for me.

Hot off its world premiere at the Venice Film Festival and its North American premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival, Magnolia Pictures has nabbed the English-language rights to Johnny To's action thriller, Exiled. As part of a three-way pact (with Optimum Releasing for UK rights and Madman Entertainment for rights in Australia and New Zealand), pic marks the second acquisition for the three companies, after teaming up to snag The Host this past May at Cannes, where Magnolia also picked up the genre title Severance.

Set in Hong Kong's underworld and modeled after To's 1999 hit The Mission, Exiled packed its cast with folks like Roy Cheung, Francis Ng, Anthony Wong and Simon Yam. Says Magnolia's President Eamonn Bowles, "A lot of people thinking that the Hong Kong gangster film ran its course in the nineties are going to be pleasantly surprised by the freshness and innovation of Exiled. Now comes the more (or less) important question: How long before an American filmmaker decides to orchestrate a remake?

Horror fans have lots of good reasons to admire Lionsgate. Say what you will about Saw and/or Hostel, but if you look back through LG's output over the last several years you're bound to find a fright flick (or six) you really admire. And although they have no problem putting together their own movies, some of the 'Gates' most colorful releases have been pick-ups from foreign lands -- High Tension (France), The Descent (UK), Undead (Australia), Ginger Snaps (Canada), Cabin Fever (North Carolina), etc.

But now it looks like another indie distributor has set its sights on doling out some of the foreign horror, and they're called Magnolia Pictures. Best known for supporting really solid titles like Dead Man's Shoes, Keane, Cavite and District B13, Magnolia is also the outfit that brought the original Pulse to American shores -- and now they're going back to the foreign horror well with a pair of highly-anticipated titles.

According to my gore-brothers over at BD.com, Magnolia will release Bong-joon Ho's enthusiastically acclaimed monster movie The Host on January 29th of next year, and they'll follow that up on March 9th with Severance, a "psycho in the woods" romp that comes from Christopher Smith, director of the generally underrated Creep. And here's the very best part: Both of these flicks will be playing at Toronto next month, so I don't have to wait for 2007! Oh wait, that's not the best part. That's the obnoxious part. My bad. In way of apology, please enjoy the Host trailer and the Severance trailer.

Anyway, if this keeps up I expect Lionsgate to just swoop in and say "Hey, good work, Magnolia. We're buying you."