It's not every day you get to share news of this magnitude. I'm actually a little nervous about it. I mean ... Psycho, sure. Halloween, why not? But when someone decides to step up and remake a film like My Bloody Valentine ... wow.

OK, silly joke. Sorry. If we're at the point where April Fool's Day, Prom Night and My Bloody Valentine are being remade, aren't we just about due for a big SPOOF to come along and end this remake parade already? This is coming from the biggest horror geek you'll ever see: My Bloody Valentine? Really?

The original was a Canadian import that (slavishly, dryly) followed the Halloween / Friday the 13th template, right down to the oh-so-clever insert-holiday-here gimmick. Plot-wise, it was about a guy in a gas mask who swung a mean pick-axe and enjoyed putting dismembered hearts inside candy boxes. Clearly this film demands a remake.

So who will be bringing this non-classic to the (probably television) screen for a new generation of giddy gorehounds? Why, Patrick Lussier, of course. Who else but the man who gave us one Prophecy, a White Noise, and three whole Draculas could dare to approach the works of John Beaird and George Mihalka? First-time screenwriter Zane Smith was the adapter; production on the Lionsgate project gets underway in Pittsburgh in just a few months.

[ Thanks to Bloody-Disgusting.com for the long-awaited news! ]

Depending on your point of view, this is either very good or very bad news. Shock Til You Drop is reporting that the much-discussed Friday the 13th update will not be a remake of the classic 1980 flick. According to sources, writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (Freddy vs. Jason) will not be re-writing the original story. Going one step further, Shock reports that the flick would not be an origin story of any kind. Instead, Shock reports that the film will take place, "somewhere between parts two and four". As any horror fan knows, the story of Jason Voorhees and his reign of terror at Camp Crystal Lake is one of the cornerstones of 80's horror, and the thought of a remake had plenty of fans all up in arms. Texas Chainsaw Massacre director Marcus Nispel hopped onboard a few weeks ago to direct.

Just last week Scott had reported that there were still some details to iron out with the script; mainly how they were going to work around the fact that Jason did not really appear in the films until Part 2. As we all know, it was good old Mommy dearest doing the dispatching in the first film. If Shock's sources can be trusted then this means Nispel won't have to worry about how to work in the big daddy of slashers and his trusty goalie mask and they can just start fresh. Stay tuned for any official word on whether or not we will be seeing a "stronger, faster, better" Jason headed our way. Friday the 13th is set for release February 13, 2009.

Stop me when this sounds familiar: A group of kids lie to their parents, hit the road for a night full of partying, and stumble across a nightmare of monumental proportions. Sounds like your typical B-grade horror movie, right? Absolutely. Hell's Ground is an unwaveringly derivative and preposterously gory little genre concoction that borrows a lot from the finest films of George Romero, Sam Raimi and Tobe Hooper while forging very little new ground of its own. But you know what? It's still a fun fright flick, even with all its obvious touchstones and blatant inspirations. Once the movie gets the character introductions and the requisite wheel-spinning out of the way, it's a pretty energetically good time.

It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Dawn of the Dead, sorta ... oh, and it came from Pakistan. Did I not mention that part? Yep, a mega-splattery zombie-strewn slasher flick from Pakistan. Shot entirely in Islamibad by a bunch of young filmmakers who clearly grew up with the same horror flicks we did. So while you're being assaulted with ideas, characters and monsters that are clearly 'borrowed' from other sources, well, it's just quite the novelty to witness Pakistan's first gore movie.

Several months ago I saw a monster movie called Abominable, which is an affectionately tongue-in-cheek throwback flick that reminded me of stuff like Grizzly and Prophecy. And then I stumbled across Hatchet, which would make for a perfect double feature with Abominable, because it feels like an old-school slasher flick that's been hidden on a dusty shelf for the past twenty years. And yes, I mean that as a compliment. If you possess any affection for flicks like Friday the 13th, The Burning or (ha) Humongous, then you'll consider Hatchet a grade-A treat.

The directors of Abominable and Hatchet are just about my age, which tells me that my generation of horror geeks is poised to hit the indie circuit with a vengeance. (The indie circuit and beyond, hopefully.) Hatchet wears its genre love right there on its gore-soaked sleeve, and that's why I had such a good time with the flick. It's funny without being a parody, it's unapologetically gory, and it's packed with actors who are obviously having a real good time with the material.

The plot couldn't be simpler: A chintzy tour of a New Orleans swampland turns into sheer terror as a group of goofballs find themselves haunted and hunted by the legendary lunatic known as Victor Crowley. That's pretty much it, plot-wise.

Those of us suffering from triskaidekaphobia can rest easy and emerge from our subterranean bomb shelters; another Friday the 13th has passed and for the most part the world is pretty much as it was on Thursday. To commemorate the occasion Stacie Ponder of the Final Girl Blog ("Exploring the slasher flicks of the 70's and 80's...and whatever else I can come up with.") proposed a Friday the 13th blogathon, giving everyone in the blogosphere a chance to pipe in with their thoughts on the antics of Jason Voorhees and his many film appearances. Stacie herself discussed how the bag-headed Jason from the series' second installment was perhaps his scariest incarnation. Other participants had some interesting things to say as well, such as:

• Erich Kuersten penned an interesting piece on his Acidemic-Film blog about how Friday the 13th represented the end of the free love generation.
• Kimberly Lindbergs of Cinebeats wrote a great piece on Friday the 13th's origins in Mario Bava's Bay of Blood (and I do loves me a good Mario Bava flick).
• Curt over at the very groovy Groovy Age of Horror blog hosted a discussion on American slasher films versus giallo films (an Italian film genre to which stateside stalk and slash movies are something of a bastard child).
• Adam Ross of DVD Panache gives his 13 reasons why you should watch the Friday the 13th box set. My favorites were The Corey Factor and Cold Bacon.
• The Horror Blog hosted a round table discussion on the best kills in the series.
• Pat Piper from Lazy Eye Theatre gives his two cents on the safe sex message of Friday the 13th.
• Sir Jorge's Macabre DVD takes a fun look at the 8-Bit NES Friday the 13th video game. The screen captures will have you harking back to the early days of video gaming.
  

And that's just a handful of the blogathon's participants. Stacie ends the piece with a Youtube video of every Friday the 13th murder scene strung together. It's quite a sight. For the record there are a staggering 160 kills, though the piece was obviously assembled before Freddy Vs. Jason came out. We should all enjoy this blogathon while we can because there won't be another Friday the 13th (the day, not the movie) until June 13, 2008.

The freakishly amusing British import known as Severance and I have a rather colorful history together. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll explain how. In September of 2006 I saw the film at the Toronto Film Festival. (I even wrote a little bit about it on this very blog. And then I reviewed it for a different website.) A few weeks later I saw the film again at the Alamo Drafthouse's (awesome) Fantastic Fest. It was there that I got to meet Jimmy Moran, the crazy bloke who wrote Severance. He mentioned that he'd read my comments, appreciated the kind words, and that he'd like to drink several beers with me. And drink we did.

Then a few weeks ago the producer of the South By Southwest Film Festival asked me if I'd write up the "festival guide synopsis" for Severance, and so I did. During the festival I introduced the film to 300 raving gorehounds. Far as I could tell, they all liked the flick a whole lot. So that's three Severance screenings at three separate festivals, a new friend in the screenwriter and a bunch of fun stuff on the side. (Plus it'll be there when I cover next month's Philadelphia Film Festival. I just cannot escape this movie!) Basically, me and Severance go way back. But what I remember most from that first screening way back in Toronto is this: "Damn, this is a fun movie."

If you tense up at just the mere glimpse of a clown, then the new poster for the slasher flick 100 Tears probably isn't going to help you get over that fear. Fangoria was given a first look at the teaser poster for the film from associate producer Ted Geoghegan (Barricade). If, however, you laugh in the face of creepiness then feel free to enjoy the image of a clown covered in gore front and center. According to Geoghegan, the killer (or the spooky clown in the poster),"is not a typical 'killer clown,' and we did not make a killer-clown film. Gurdy's a tortured soul, a bloodsoaked Pagliacci of sorts. 100 TEARS is about the man behind the makeup, and the horrors that turned him into the monster he is today."

Directed by Marcus Koch, the film follows two tabloid reporters investigating a notorious serial killer. Since this is a slasher film, you can probably guess what happens to them next. Joe Davidson wrote the script and Raine Brown stars as one of the reporters. Set to debut later this year, it's doubtful the movie will get a wide release. I will say this for the movie; "Everybody loathes a clown..." is a tag line that certainly sums it up.

Well, if you are sick of horror movies, and not a big fan of comic books, then Rogue Pictures latest is not going to be for you. The horror studio is currently developing the film version of Tim Seeley's graphic novel Hack/Slash with Todd Lincoln on board to direct.

The series follows Cassie Hack and her partner Vlad, who are freelance bounty hunters of supernaturally powered serial killers, or, in the parlance of the book "Slashers". And, in a twist of movie-style marketing, an upcoming edition of the comic will feature our heroes doing battle with the one and only Chucky. Lincoln spoke with Movies Online about the film and promised, "a sprinkling of humor to balance the scares, but this will be a lean, vicious, blood-soaked, Hard-R fright fest. The goal is to create the ultimate slasher film". Lincoln is currently working on a re-write of The Fly, and no casting announcements have been made, so it could be a while before we see a finished product.

So if you are a fan of comic books, and you just can't get enough of horror movies, then keep your fingers crossed that we get a look at Hack/Slash sometime soon.

[via The Movie Blog]