If you're like me, you loved the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books as a kid. It can be exciting to help shape something you'd otherwise be passively enjoying. That practice is slowly working its way into the film world. The future of filmmaking may give you, the audience, much more say in what kinds of movies get made. "Open Source" cinema occurs when the underlying "source code" for computer software is made freely available, enabling anyone to copy a film, rewrite it, edit it, improve it. It's sort of like the film version of Wikipedia. Several full-length Open Source films have already popped up online, such as Cactuses, "a drama about youth culture in southern California," and Boy Who Never Slept, an online dating comedy. This article cites the experience with last year's Snakes on a Plane as an example that the studios are becoming more open to letting the public shape the films they make.
Open Source filmmaking aims to eventually allow the viewer the opportunity to create alternate endings and cut scenes from Hollywood movies. (So long, Jar-Jar Binks!) A film called A Swarm of Angels is one of the most ambitious Open Source projects, as it includes every aspect of traditional filmmaking, including the financing. The founder, Matt Hanson, wants 50,000 "micro-investors" to chip in $60 to make a movie. 60 bucks buys these investors the opportunity to vote on such matters as screenplay decisions and shooting locations. They can work on filming when it begins, and when the film is finished it will be made available online for anyone to download and edit. If you've got cash burning a hole in your pocket, head here to join the moviemaking process.
Even after the whirlwind of hype surrounding Snakes on a Plane, I think most people would be hard pressed to remember the name of it's director, David R. Ellis. Considering the ... mixed reactionSnakes received from critics and audiences, it's probably in the best interest of Ellis' career that it stays that way. So despite the bad reviews and cries of manufactured zeitgeist, Ellis seems to have managed to walk away unscathed and is already hard at work on his new film, Asylum. Now Variety has announced that Ellis, a former child actor and stunt man, is also attached to direct and co-produce the action thriller High Stakes for Persistent Entertainment.
The story follows two friends on a gambling trip to Las Vegas who rack up a gambling debt to the wrong people. The friends are then forced to become the subjects of a dangerous high-stakes bet to pay off their marker. Ronnie Christensen (Passengers) wrote the script and the film is set to start shooting this spring. There is no word on a cast yet, so Ellis and company are going to have to work quickly if they want to stick to their schedule.
Woohoo! Happy New Year, DVD junkies! All right! Let's just kick off this year with a whole bunch of fantastic DVDs!
Beer League -- Low-grade softball comedy that's 100% positive there's nothing funnier in the world than poop, weiners, farts, pee-pee, boobs, burps, jugs, sluts, beer, penises and vaginas. Oh, and the word "joikoff," which is mentioned more times in Beer League than John F. Kennedy is mentioned in JFK. Aims (low) for the frat-boy crowd, but I lived in a frat house for two years, and we would have turned this thing off after nine minutes. Extras include an audio commentary, a few featurettes, and a whole bunch of Artie Lange-related wackiness.
The Covenant -- It's like The Craft got a sex change! A gang of goofy young warlocks make trouble for their enemies, or so I've heard; I haven't actually seen this one yet. But I got the "goofy" part from the trailer alone. Upside for schlock-fans: The director is Renny Harlin. Extras include a featurette and a (Harlin!) commentary.
Snakes on a Plane -- The worldwide mega-wild ultra-hip internet buzz sensation of the millennium ... that yielded a $13 million opening weekend and a total haul of about $34m. So much for internet buzz, eh? Still, a perfectly entertaining piece of mindless cinematic fluff, and one that'll almost certainly play better at home, because home is probably where you keep your beer and your bong. Extras include a bunch of featurettes, deleted scenes, gag reels, music videos ... but I just gotta hear the audio commentary between director Dave Eliis and mega-badass Samuel L. Jackson.
Oh, and new re-issues of Glory and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Hmph. Let's just write this week off as a New Years Hangover. We'll meet here next Tuesday to talk about DVDs worth renting, like Crank, The Night Listener, The Illusionist and (one of my 2006 favorites) Conversations with Other Women.
It's a bird, it's a plane ... a plane with snakes on it! That's right folks, 2006's strangest movie phenomena lands on DVD this week, just in time to assure you a Happy Mutha F*%@in' New Year! The flight was a rocky one for this Samuel L. Jackson campfest, with an unparalleled level of fan-generated buzz (based solely on the film's overly simple title) spreading across the web in the months leading up to its theatrical release. But apparently the mania peaked too early, or maybe it was a mirage from the start and all its "fans" were far more interested in poking fun at the movie than actually seeing it. 'Snakes on a Plane' grossed a sorely disappointing $34 million, only $1 M more than its reported cost of production.
The filmmakers, unwisely it now seems, insisted the film was not intended to be "so bad it's good." And it isn't. It's so terrible it's excellent. It falls just behind 'Borat,''Talladega Nights,' and 'Beerfest' in terms of funniest movies of the year. 'Snakes' has everything you could ask for in a B-movie: bad special effects (the snakes, especially, are awesomely fake-looking), creatively choreographed deaths, gross miscasting (the dude from 'Fat Albert' as a bodyguard?), a soft-porn sequence, babies in duress and craptastically cheesy dialogue. (To whoever runs the Samuel L. Jackson Soundboard, could you please update it with some of the instantly classic lines from 'SOAP?') The dozens of exotic killer snakes – which, in hopes of downing the plane, the villain unleashes on your typical three-story commercial airliner, cause you know, a bomb would be really difficult! -- are all sorts of naughty. Not only do they chew up half the passengers, they often prefer to latch onto, um, sexually stimulating body parts. That's physical humor at its finest, pure and simple.
Especially Recommended for: B-Movie lovers, Samuel L. Jackson's faithful, the millions of you who teased Mr. Jackson into thinking 'Snakes' would be a hit
Though 'Snakes' failed at the box office, will it still be a hit on DVD? Add your two cents below, and come back to Hold the 'Fone every Tuesday for new DVD recommendations.
I have an issue with year-end best-of lists. Or, I should say I have an issue with making them, myself. Every year I think about giving in to the tradition, but then I stop myself when I realize that I haven't seen enough movies. There are the last-minute releases of late December to wait for. There are films I missed earlier in the year that haven't yet arrived on DVD. And ever since I took a hiatus from reviewing films, it has gotten worse, because I see fewer movies than I normally do. Typically I don't discover my favorite pic of a given year until the following year or later.
So, rather than write up a list that may change tomorrow or the next day or 10 years from now, I've decided to reflect on the bad movies I saw. I've definitely seen more bad movies than good movies, anyway. But rather than make a list of the worst of '06 -- I probably haven't seen the real worst any more than I've seen the best -- I fondly recalled the movies that were crap, but were enjoyable, nonetheless.
Some of the movies on my list are wholly guilty pleasures, while others have one or two specific aspects that I found more guiltily pleasurable than the movie itself.
10.) Cobra Starship's 'Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)' video from Snakes on a Plane - Sure, Snakes on a Plane is a guilty pleasure -- it was made to be. But it is just too obvious to mention it as a whole, and anyway it really wasn't as enjoyable as it should have been or was meant to be. The music video during the movie's credits, though, is another story. In my opinion it overshadows the actual movie by a long shot. It may be as self-consciously intent on producing irony and camp, but it succeeds where SOAP doesn't. Maybe because it is catchy, maybe because the band looks like a parody of contemporary hipster bands, or maybe because it is shorter -- I am far more likely to return to the video for a good laugh than to the movie (not that I'll turn off the movie on a lazy Sunday with nothing better to do; it is still a guilty pleasure, itself).
Everyone's favorite buzzed-about Snake-tastic film is getting set to arrive on DVD this January 2, and Cinematical is here to give five lucky winners one helluva DVD prize package. You know the drill: The five people who come up with the best caption for the above picture will be sent some wicked gifts -- all SOAP-related -- and all of which are sure to put a smile on your face. When those crummy Christmas gifts leave you depressed and desperately in need of a pick-me-up, Cinematical will be there (as always) to save the day.
In order to qualify for the prizes listed below, you must submit your caption by 8PM EST on January 8, 2007, as that is when the contest ends. Also, you must provide Cinematical with a valid email address when you activate your comment so that we're able to contact you when (and if) you win. Wanna know what you'll be getting? Check it out:
The best five captions will receive:
1 Copy of the brand spanking new Snakes on a Plane DVD (full screen version).
1 Copy of the official Snakes on a Plane movie soundtrack.
1 Snakes on a Plane shirt.
1 Snakes on a Plane hat.
1 Set of Iron On Images (which you can use to design your very own nifty SOAP shirt).
Okay, now it's your turn. Provide us with the best caption you can think of, but remember to do so by 8PM EST on January 8, 2007. Comment. Email Address. Activate. It's that simple. Good luck!
Note: Contest now closed -- thanks for all your wonderful submissions. The winners will be announced soon ...
Coming to you directly from Cinematical's WTF department comes this story from USA Today about a woman in the Philippines that perhaps takes the movies a little too seriously. According to the article, Philippine authorities on Tuesday foiled an attempt by the woman to smuggle more than 100 poisonous snakes and lizards onto a plane bound for Thailand. Luckily, an alert airport x-ray technician spotted what he thought was a snake in one of the woman's two large suitcases and alerted airport security. Give that guy a raise.
When the suitcases were confiscated by airport security and opened, authorities found dozens of soft drink and water bottles inside and sacks containing 50 monitor lizards, 39 cobras, 21 vipers, 20 other smaller lizards and 2 iguanas. Man, that's a lot of mother f-ing snakes, isn't it? Perfecta Hinojosa, regional technical director for the Philippine Department of Environment and Natural Resources, said that the snakes are considered "threatened species" but there is a large market for them in Thailand for use as medicine, food and even pets. On the black market, the snakes could fetch tens of thousands of dollars, she said.
So, what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving? I'm thankful for not having to fly on a plane with some crazy woman and her suitcases full of snakes. Thanks to an alert x-ray tech, some other people in the Philippines get to be thankful for that too. The woman who was allegedly attempting to smuggle the snakes was held for questioning by authorities but as yet, has made no statement. The snakes had no comment either.
Let me just state up front, for the record, that Samuel L. Jackson is the man (although his movie The Man did kinda suck). No matter, he's still the man and can do no wrong (well, except maybe for xXx and that shark movie. Oh, and that snake movie too). Ok, fine, he's the man who can mostly do no wrong.
Putting his few filmic transgressions aside (hey, he's gotta pay the rent and afford golf balls, right?) Jackson is still one of the most versatile, dynamic and busy mo-fos working in Hollywood today. Besides, anybody who can say they were in Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction, Coach Carter, S.W.A.TandStar Wars III: Revenge of the Sith deserves all the props he can get, don't you think? That is a tasty list of credits.
And now, Jackson is adding another film to his already impressive, and crowded, resume -- The Cleaner, a thriller scripted by Matthew Aldrich. Who does Jackson face in this new thriller? Is it terrorists, greedy drug dealers, Dark Lords of the Sith or maybe more of those mother f-ing snakes on that mother f-ing plane? No, in The Cleaner, Jackson, playing an ataxaphobic neat-freak who cleans up crime scenes for a living, must overcome his compulsive fear of untidiness in order to solve a murder that he helped cover up while doing his job. As he investigates the crime, he eventually uncovers secrets of his past that threaten to change his life forever.
Cool. Sounds good to me. Sorry James Brown, Jackson is the hardest working man in show business. And I, for one, couldn't be happier about it. The Cleaner starts shooting in January. No word yet on co-stars or a release date.
While the film itself had everyone blabbing non-stop during the months leading up to its theatrical release, hardly anyone has mentioned the Snakes on a Plane DVD, set to hit stores on January 2, 2007. Does anyone even care about this DVD? Or are you all too busy ironing those nifty collectible "Snakes on my Nerves" t-shirts? (I have one in every color of the rainbow, in case you were wondering.)
Nevertheless, the cult flick will arrive with a slew of bonus materials and a price tag of around thirty bucks. And, since it's due out right after Christmas, Snakes is lining itself up to be the perfect return pick-up. Not digging those flannel pajamas grandma picked out for you at Target? Well, now you'll have the option to just return them and take home the Snakes on a Plane DVD instead. Ain't life grand? In case you're wondering, here are its features (according to IGN):
Audio Commentary featuring Director David Ellis, Samuel L. Jackson and more
10 Deleted Scenes
Snakes on a Video Cobra Starship, includes music video
Pure Venom: Making of Snakes on a Plane featurette
Snakes on a Blog featurette
Meet the Reptiles featurette
VFX featurette
Gag Reel
Music Video
TV Spot
Theatrical Trailer
Hmm, I wonder if the Special Edition DVD will include an actual snake to put us out of our misery. What do you think?
Although it ultimately fell rather short of expectations after the wild internet popularity experienced during run-up, Snakes on a Plane seemed to have impressed somebody over at New Line, because they've wrapped up star Samuel L. Jackson and his still-unnamed company to a two year "first look" production deal. On the heels of his mid-$30 million run with Snakes (which is not a dreadful box office sum), Jackson said of the deal: "I have made four movies with New Line so far, and they have all been immensely positive experiences for me."
While they may have all been "immensely positive" for you, Jackson, I certainly can't say the same. I haven't seen Snakes yet, but I remember what you and Eugene Levy did with The Man; and let me tell you, there was nothing positive about that experience at all from my end of things. Nonetheless, I continue to like Samuel Jackson, and I'm excited to see what he brings to the table with the help of his new friends at New Line.
A few days ago, Slither-maker James Gunn mentioned on his MySpace page that his adorably splattery sci-fi horror rom-com was the receipient of four Fangoria Chainsaw Award nominations. My response was "Hey, cool. Where are the rest of the nominations?!?!?" And now, a few days later, here they are. Neat-o.
Although Fangoria has been doing their annual Chainsaw awards for over a decade now, 2006 marks the very first time the event will be televised, much to the delight of zombie freaks and slasher geeks all over North America. The event will be held in L.A. on October 15th, although the Fuse Network won't be airing it until the 22nd. (Which means if you want to watch the event "un-spoiled," I wish you luck.) Want to throw your own votes into the tally? Fine. You can vote right here, but only between September 1st and 13th (which is a Friday, mwaahaaa!)
After the jump you'll find a complete list of all the 2006 Chainsaw nominees, plus my own predictions on which flicks would win if the event were called Amazing Geek Weinberg's Horror Awards instead of The Chainsaws.
Usually when a movie is adapted into a TV series, either the situation of the movie's plot or its characters are brought from the big screen to the small, but New Line has announced a TV version of the comedy hit Wedding Crashers that doesn't have much to do with the original source. Rather than making a sitcom based on the roles originated by Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, the series will be more of a candid-camera reality show, in the style of Punk'd. In fact, the show will be produced by Ashton Kutcher and his partners at Katalyst Films.
Wedding Crashers will follow a group of improv actors as they crash actual weddings -- in a good way. What? Well, rather than imposing on and embarrassing the bride and groom, the actors will make the weddings more fun for the parties, contributing memorable stunts and pranks much like Wilson and Vaughn do in the first 20 minutes of the movie. I can only imagine that sometimes the wedding parties will not appreciate the stunts and pranks as much as New Line thinks they will, however. Just think about whether you'd want your wedding exploited for reality television. Okay, so many people might welcome the 15 minutes of fame. So, what's next, New Line? Snakes on a Plane, the realty series?
Some pranksters in Arizona have taken the William Castle approach too far by making Snakes on a Plane a hands-on snakes-on experience. The unidentified culprits released two diamondback rattlesnakes into an auditorium showing the movie and the crowd went into a panic. Obviously. I'll admit that while I'm not scared of flying or of snakes, and I'm certainly not afraid of going to the movies, if I saw even a non-venomous snake slithering up the aisle while I was watching SoaP, I would be so freaked out that I probably would have a tough time entering a theater again. The movie is anything but scary (though I do now have a fear of getting a heel in the ear), but those poor people at the AMC Desert Ridge are going to have some serious nightmares. Thankfully nobody was injured, including the snakes, which were caught and then released into the desert.
Update: TMZ.com is reporting that there was only one baby rattlesnake and that it likely slithered into the theater on its own. Also it was found in the hallway not in the auditorium.
Last week, the LA Times featured an article called, "Did the Snakes Hiss Too Soon." Based on this weekend's box office numbers (and having nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that yours truly is -- ahem -- mentioned in the article), I'm wondering if the film's "genius" marketing campaign ultimately ruined its chances of making any kind of serious money.
In the last Monday Morning Poll, I asked you how much money Snakes on a Plane would make in its opening weekend. Most of you went nuts with that figure, spitting out extremely high numbers ($40-50 million). Well, the little film that couldn't took home a heck of a lot less. But, why? As the LA Times article ponders: Did the hype peak too soon? Was the marketing geared towards a certain type of individual, thus eliminating a huge audience? With the film hitting theaters this late in summer, are people simply tired of the crap?
So, I ask you: Why did Snakes on a Plane tank at the box office?
"Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them." - Pauline Kael
You've heard the buzz. You've followed the rumors. You may even have bought the hat or the t-shirt, or photoshopped your own CNN title crawl involving the words snakes, plane and a couple obscene gerunds. Now, after months of waiting, Snakes on a Plane -- possessed of the simplest, the-title-is-the-pitch plot in years -- has opened without screening for critics, which is why I found myself at a semi-full Midnight show along with a crowd who, in many cases, brought their own rubber or stuffed snakes. Between TV appearances, interviews, recording material for "custom-made" promotional phone messages and photos draped in legless reptiles, star Samuel L. Jackson's been working overtime to plug, push and pitch Snakes on a Plane -- and looks like he's having a great time.
Of course, if you're going to bet your career on a roll of the dice, you'd probably want to look enthused as you toss them down. Jackson may be a movie star -- he's internationally known and, with his rippling vocal cadences, loved and mocked by pop-culture fans worldwide -- but he's yet to top-line a movie that opens to more than $35 million dollars. (Much like Jeff Goldblum, the total box office of films Jackson's been in is formidable -- but those are films where he's most definitely not the main attraction.) So, why not make a crazy-ass bet on some snakes?
Jackson plays FBI agent Neville Flynn, who is escorting Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips), a witness to a brutal gangland slaying in Hawaii, to L.A. to testify. It would be a serious setback for gangster Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) if Jones were to testify; Jones can't be allowed to make it to L.A. alive. And so, in one of the most ornate and inefficient assassination plots the silver screen has shown us since the heyday of Wile E. Coyote, Kim arranges for an assassin to load the plane with a time-release box of ... poisonous snakes. Kim snaps at an underling who questions the plan: "Don't you think I've exhausted every other option?" Well, let me think: Guns ... knives ... garrotes ... No, Eddie, I don't think you have. When Hank (Bobby Cannavale), Flynn's ex-partner on the ground in L.A., is told of the situation, he asks the question we all would: "What kind of insane plan is that?"
If you're like me, you loved the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books as a kid. It can be exciting to help shape something you'd otherwise be passively enjoying. That practice is slowly working its way into the film world. The future of filmmaking may give you, the audience, much more say in what kinds of movies get made. "Open Source" cinema occurs when the underlying "source code" for computer software is made freely available, enabling anyone to copy a film, rewrite it, edit it, improve it. It's sort of like the film version of Wikipedia. Several full-length Open Source films have already popped up online, such as Cactuses, "a drama about youth culture in southern California," and Boy Who Never Slept, an online dating comedy. This article cites the experience with last year's Snakes on a Plane as an example that the studios are becoming more open to letting the public shape the films they make.
Even after the whirlwind of hype surrounding 
Woohoo! Happy New Year, DVD junkies! All right! Let's just kick off this year with a whole bunch of fantastic DVDs!
Coming to you directly from Cinematical's WTF department comes 
Let me just state up front, for the record, that 
While the film itself had everyone blabbing non-stop during the months leading up to its theatrical release, hardly anyone has mentioned the 
Although it ultimately fell rather short of expectations after the wild internet popularity experienced during run-up, 
A few days ago, 
Usually when a movie is adapted into a TV series, either the situation of the movie's plot or its characters are brought from the big screen to the small, but 
Some pranksters in Arizona have taken the 
Last week, the LA Times featured an article called, "Did the Snakes Hiss Too Soon." Based on this weekend's box office numbers (and having nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that yours truly is -- ahem -- 
Cannes Review: Che
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Discuss: The Women of Indiana Jones
