Those manatees really know how to keep themselves busy. In one of the more irreverent news items of the day, Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane -- whose voice work is currently on display in Hellboy II: The Golden Army -- has told TV Week that he hopes to get a Family Guy movie off the ground in a year or so. The announcement was first picked up by Ain't It Cool News, where most commenters seem fairly lukewarm about the idea. Honestly, it's hard not to agree with them. Family Guy already has two feature length titles out on DVD, and neither one really raised the bar for the show or even played better than a decent episode.

At least The Simpsons movie had a plot that made sense for ninety minutes. Family Guy, with its incessant randomness, generally works as a series of distractions. In other words, not the sort of thing that really needs to get expanded beyond the half hour structure. Then again, the show has its devout base, which eagerly anticipates each sloppily constructed gag like clockwork, so maybe the new film project is good business sense. Either way, the South Park two-parter that took Family Guy to task remains far more entertaining (and insightful) than Family Guy's entire six-season run.

He goes by "Night," but it's hard to dispute his sunny disposition. Just a few minutes into a conversation with M. Night Shyamalan in a New York City hotel room yesterday, it was obvious to me that the director has managed to occupy such a unique niche in the Hollywood landscape because he's immediately likable. Of course, a little movie released in 1999 called The Sixth Sense didn't hurt, either.

After landing two Oscar nominations and international acclaim for his masterful ghost story, Shyamalan continued to market himself as a brand. Since then, the results have been mixed. Signs was an indisputable hit. Unbreakable has its supporters. Lady in the Water? Not so much. But that failure hasn't prevented the filmmaker from dealing with audacious material: His latest movie, The Happening, finds a married couple (Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel) thrust into a world where people inexplicably become suicidal after getting struck by an ominous, unseen toxin. Forces of evil usually remain unseen in Shyamalan's films, and The Happening is no exception to that rule. I spoke to the 37-year-old Philadelphia resident about the personal philosophies guiding his career choices, the polarized reactions to his work, and what the future will bring.

Wow, I didn't even know there were THAT many. Holy crapola! The fine folks over at Rotten Tomatoes are currently counting down the top 50 TV adaptations of all time, in honor of both Get Smart and Sex and the City. Before we mention a few, here's how they played it: "... these movies are remakes of TV series (i.e. Starsky and Hutch), mini-series (Pennies from Heaven), or sketches (The Blues Brothers). We've also included big-screen adaptations that utilize the series' principal cast members (the Star Trek movies, the Adam West Batman). We've omitted films that, despite having TV incarnations, are derived from other sources (thus, no Superman), but have included others (like The Addams Family) that are best remembered as TV shows." In other words ... they mean business.

Down toward the bottom, you have films like Strangers with Candy, The Rugrats Movie, Josie and the Pussycats and The Naked Gun 2 1/2. I won't reveal their number one pick, but the top ten includes memorable favorites like The Simpsons Movie, The Fugitive ("You find this man!"), Serenity and South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

I'm just impressed they managed to throw together 50 half-decent TV-to-Movie adaptations. That, in and of itself, has to be worth some sort of Emmy nod (or would it be an Oscar nod?). Check out the entire list over at Rotten Tomatoes ... and let us know your favorites below.

So who watched South Park the other night? In the episode, internet goes down and the citizens of South Park (as well as other places throughout the country) are forced to live their lives without online access. Of course, in true South Park fashion, everyone winds up in an internet camp, sleeping on cots -- all dirty and disheveled -- as they fight over the 40 seconds of internet each person gets per day. Not only was it hysterical to watch, but it also opened my eyes to the fact that it's becoming difficult to remember how things were prior to the internet, especially for people 30 years of age and younger.

It's almost hard to imagine those days when we wouldn't find out a certain movie existed until the trailer played in a theater, or during the Super Bowl. Now we get teaser posters before the film even goes into production. Remember when a movie only got one poster? To date, we've seen 10, 11 Iron Man posters alone. Posters! As movie marketing has moved online, everything's grown larger -- more trailers, more images, more games, more contests. Now there are entire websites devoted to one movie's viral marketing campaign. It's pretty insane, and even though I do this for a living, it's still real hard for me to keep up with it all. (I'm still waiting for the day when a particular viral campaign is blamed for the unfortunate death of a teenager. C'mon, you know it's gonna happen eventually ...)

We'll be talking a bit more about last night's South Park episode a little later on, but before we go there, you should definitely check out the above clip. Well, if you didn't see the episode, you might not want to watch -- but if you did see the episode or don't care much about South Park spoilers, then do click on the little play button up top. It's shiny. It likes you.

This season, the boys from SP seem to be doing a lot with the internet, and last night's episode was no exception. When the internet goes down in South Park, the town doesn't know how to handle it. Chaos and hilarity ensues. Easily my favorite episode from this season so far, toward the end we also got a nice, hysterical homage to Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind -- except, instead of aliens, the government was trying to communicate with a giant internet router thingy. Classic.

My favorite line from last night (which I've been repeating, to myself, all day long for some odd reason): "We're headin' out Californee way -- rumor has it they may have some internet out there."

... If people stopped bitching about The Golden Compass and, instead, waited to go see the actual movie? Sure, according to a recent Hollywood Reporter article, they've "removed all references to the church, the Bible and sin ..." -- but does it really matter? It's a kids film. And I don't blame New Line or director Chris Weitz for wanting to tone down the "heavy" material so that the more fantastical elements of the books could remain front and center. Film is a visual medium after all. The Christian groups are pissed the flick will make kids want to go buy the books and -- God forbid -- learn more about the world. Like the film is some sort of ridiculous gateway drug that could potentially corrupt the minds of millions of children everywhere. The Golden Compass -- it's the new heroin! Here's how I imagine a conversation between child and parent will go immediately after watching The Golden Compass:

Parent: [sweating, shaking] So ... did you, gulp, like the film?

Kid: I liked the talking bear. He was cool. Can we get ice cream?

Parent: So, um [wipes sweat] -- you don't want to become an Atheist now?

Kid: No. I simply want a parent that isn't a complete f**king moron. I want a parent that lets me make my own decisions in life. I want a parent that exposes me to all religions, to all beliefs, and allows me to learn about the world I live in. As a person who represents the future of this country, and this world, I believe I deserve that. So, can we get ice cream now?

Fans of the books are pissed because all the "meat" has been left on the cutting room floor. Oh well. Welcome to Hollywood ... book readers. The Golden Compass will sneak preview this Saturday night in 800 theaters across America. If, come Monday morning, 800 theaters worth of people suddenly decide to swear off the whole God thing, we'll know we have a problem. In the meantime, where are the guys from South Park when you need a good rant on religion. Oh wait, there they are ...

Random Thought of the Day: I wonder if last night's South Park episode will be nominated for an Emmy?

There are two things I really hate in this world: Going to a mall on Christmas Eve to buy presents for people, and coming down with a nasty head cold. A close third would be Michael Vick, but he's on a long list of people I'd like to see thrown out of an airplane at 35,000 feet without a parachute. Like most people, I try to avoid both the last-minute shopping and the awful sickness each year, but they always have a way of tracking me down. That said, I have a head cold right now, it's a bad one, and all I want to do is crawl into bed and await a slow, painful death. But there's news to report, and we don't get very many sick days in this business.

Last night, while speaking to Cinematical's James Rocky IV Rules over instant messenger, he suggested I throw on some Malick and let the director guide me into dreamland. Then came the following from James: "Have we ever done a Cinematical Seven on movies to watch when you're sick?" I don't believe we have, and I told James to whip up something for next month, but in the meantime I'd like to hear from some of you: what movies do you like to watch when you're sick? Do you tend to go for the comedy (watching South Park last night made me feel a whole lot better), do you like action-packed popcorn blockbusters, or are you more interested in a slow, quiet indie film -- the kind that puts you right to sleep? Do chime in with suggestions below; trust me, I desperately need them.

While in Berlin, I was told there was a private "market only" screening of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters. A few of us joked -- and wished we were there -- if only to see the look on all those European faces once the film finally got underway. I imagine a slew of those stuffy international buyers were left disturbed, upset and utterly confused by the film's, um, creativity. Needless to say, it would have been fun to watch the pale faces feverishly exiting the theater.

It's no secret that Aqua Teen Hunger Force (an animated show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim) isn't for everyone; in fact, its core fanbase consists of folks who like to partake in a few "extra-curricular activities" prior to tuning in. Some would even go so far as to say that those "activities" are necessary in order to truly get the show and its three main characters (which consist of a box of fries, a wad of meat and a milkshake). Regardless, a feature-length ATHF film will crash into theaters on April 13, and what appears to be the (final?) poster has just been released, with Twitch providing us with what you see there to the right of your screen. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong, but I had to do a double-take -- at first, I thought I was looking at the cover of Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell album. Yes, it's that awesome.

As I'm a fairly new fan of the show, the only thing that worries me is whether the jokes will last for over an hour when each episode is only 15 minutes long. Then again, I have the same problem with most animated toons that take a chance on the big screen; trust me, I'm just as worried about The Simpsons Movie somehow finding a way to make me laugh as hard as I did during South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

Before they introduced the world to Eric Cartman and friends, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were hired by Universal to create a "training video" geared toward boosting team moral after Seagram's company bought the studio back in 1995. However, at the time, no one knew who Parker and Stone were, let alone the fact that they were complete maniacs. What followed was a hilarious (and, as far as Universal was concerned, unusable) training video starring folks like Steven Spielberg, Sylvester Stallone, James Cameron, Michael J. Fox, Demi Moore and Angela Lansbury, among others.

If you're one of those people looking for a few laughs on a crummy Monday afternoon, then this is sure to do the trick ... if only to watch Speilberg act as a tour guide traveling through the Jaws attraction. Enjoy! (Note: Due to foul language, this video is potentially NSFW.)

[via The Movie Blog]

I've never been a huge fan of South Park -- the show is just too much for me (I'm a delicate flower, you know), as was the movie. And, because of my acrimonious relationship with the show for which they're best known, I also have never been particularly impressed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, even when they're wearing lovely frocks. That all changed, however, when I saw This Film Is Not Yet Rated (a review will go up next week), in which Stone briefly appears. It was really the first time I'd seen him not on for the cameras and the public, and he struck me as both perceptive and intelligent, qualities I hadn't previous known he had. (I realize all of you knew this long ago, but it was news to me.) All of which is a long-winded way of saying that, because of my new perspective, I actually found myself excited this morning when I read that Parker and Stone are going to make two new movies for Paramount.

The films -- My All-American and Giant Monsters Attack Japan! -- are both from the scripts of others (though both Parker and Stone will be involved in future drafts), and will mark the first time Parker has directed a movie that he didn't also write; Stone will produce the films. My All-American is described as "a high-school comedy," while Giant Monsters Attack Japan! -- the plot of which is pretty clear from the title -- "will combine live-action with the 'rubber suit' techniques made popular in Asian imports like Godzilla." Sweet.

Variety reports that the duo is eying a 2007 start date (during the South Park hiatus) though it's not clear which film will be made first for My All-American.