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The Best and Worst Action Movie Sidekicks

Filed under: Action », Fandom »



It's been a very long time since I watched Commando, and when it popped up on AMC a few weeks ago, I decided I really needed to hear its steel drum and saxophone theme again. (I really didn't. It was stuck in my head for days after.) Anyway, it had been so long that I had forgotten the ridiculous sidekick of Stewardess Cindy. She enters into the narrative in the silliest way possible (one of the bad guys hits on her, and John Matrix decides that this makes her perfect to assist him), she causes many innocent bystanders to be shot or seriously injured in a shopping mall, and she complains. A lot. Halfway through, it's like they had to come up with a better excuse for her to be there, so she supplies some knowledge about planes, fires a rocket launcher, and then steps in as a stepmom at the end.

Why is she here? Time is too tight for kissing or gratuitous sex, so there was no need for a love interest. She really does nothing that Matrix couldn't have done himself (I mean, shouldn't he know how to fly a sea plane and puzzle out fueling information? Isn't he one of those guys?), and the rocket launcher rescue could have been cut because, come on, Matrix was too badass to really get arrested anyway. It takes up time that he could have been shooting more of Arius' mercenaries in hilarious and gory ways.

I'd really like to nominate her for worst action sidekick ever, except that I'm sure there's far worse out there. I'm not talking about actual sidekicks, like Chewbacca or Samwise Gamgee, but the untrained citizens who get drawn into perilous situations.

Cinematical Seven: Terrific Train Thrills

Filed under: Action », Drama », Thrillers », Fandom », Cinematical Seven », Comic/Superhero/Geek », Lists », Cinematical Indie »

Top: 'Runaway Train,' bottom: 'Spider-Man 2'

I'm not certain when, exactly, my long-time fascination with trains was born, but it probably started the first time I walked through Union Station in Los Angeles, a cathedral dedicated to mass transit that opened in 1939. Opportunities to ride the rails were few and far between, so I treasured any chance to experience a train trip vicariously through the movies. Eventually I moved to New York and, still later, visited Europe, banking thousands of hours on all manner of subways and trains. Still, I've never had a personal train trip as thrilling as those I've enjoyed at the movies. With Tony Scott's The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 racing into theaters tomorrow, let's honor a few of the films that have provided terrific train thrills of the cinematic variety.

1. Runaway Train
The other movies on this list feature excellent scenes set on or around trains or subways (see also "Honorable Mention" and "Sensational Subway Scenes" after the jump) but Andrei Konchalovsky's thriller, based on a screenplay by Akira Kurosawa, spends the majority of its running time on a train speeding through the bitterly cold, snowy winter landscapes of Alaska. Jon Voight and Eric Robert are two hardened convicts who've broken out of prison and, by chance, happen upon the just-departing train. When the engineer suffers a heart attack, the cons are at the controls of an out-of-control beast they cannot hope to master.

2. Spider-Man 2
I'll dance around needless spoilers by saying there is a coda to the runaway train scene that caught me unaware, filled with grace and humanity. That elevates a very good, thrilling, fast-paced suspense sequence involving helpless passengers and the heroic, masked Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) as he fights Doc Ock (Alfred Molina).

Our Favorite Summers: 1994

Filed under: Summer Movies »



Looking back over the summer of 1994, I can safely say that it's a serious candidate for the worst movie summer of all time. It's a jumble of big-budget flops, bad sequels, awful kids' movies, all-but-totally-forgotten comedies and other general misfires. Worse, and even more alienating, there were three high-profile, highly-acclaimed and much-beloved hits that I just couldn't go crazy for. Yet I remember that summer very fondly for delivering one perfect summer movie, which I saw on the perfect day, with all the right friends. Even if I never saw anything like it again all summer, it was worth it. (The titles of my favorites appear in bold.)

May 13: The summer started out early and promisingly with Spike Lee's warm, nostalgic Crooklyn, which is still one of his most underrated films. Then we got Alex Proyas' remarkable The Crow, which, despite the eerie overshadowing of Brandon Lee's untimely death, turned out to be a solid sci-fi/action/comic book movie.

May 20:
Right now, we're in the era of remakes and reboots, but there was a time when the hottest ticket was big-screen remakes of old TV shows. Director Richard Donner put aside his profitable Lethal Weapon series for a version of Maverick, which seemed to me too slick and self-aware to make much of a lasting impression. (It was a big hit, though.) That same weekend, Gus Van Sant dropped the first of the summer's big bombs, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.

Cinematical Seven: Franchises J.J. Abrams Should Reboot

Filed under: Fandom », Cinematical Seven », Lists »



Now that J.J. Abrams has reinvented, and especially, reinvigorated Star Trek for an all new generation of fake-pointy-eared fans, it would be unfair to let the filmmaker simply take time off to garden or crochet, much less celebrate the film's projected $72 million opening weekend. Especially since there are just so many other franchises and film series that deserve – or perhaps more accurately – need his golden touch. As such, we've thoughtfully assembled a short list of franchises that Abrams could and should take over, tackle, and reboot. And while we tailored our selections to suit the filmmaker's writing and directing strengths, we encourage you to leave your comments and suggestions which films and franchises you think might be better suited to Abrams' cinematic style.

In no particular order:

Keanu Reeves to Return for 'Speed 3'?

Filed under: Action », Casting », RumorMonger », Fandom », DIY/Filmmaking », Remakes and Sequels »



I really loved the first Speed movie. You had Keanu before he became Keanu, and Bullock before she became Sandra Bullock -- it was simply a nice, refreshing on-screen duo featuring two actors we didn't quite know yet and a villain played by one we already loved. Speed 2: Electric Cruise Ship Boogaloo? Not so much. And even though the sequel wasn't nearly as successful as the first (partly because the story was absurd, and partly because Keanu was replaced by Jason Patric), folks still talked about a third installment in the series -- so much so that The Guardian even announced last year that Dennis Hopper had a role in it. Weird, I know, considering the ending of the first flick, but who knows what these Hollywood types have up their sleeves.

Which brings us to today and yet another Speed 3 rumor. This time, AICN has received a message from one of their sources that says a scriptment for the sequel is floating around and it reintroduces the Jack Traven character, played by Keanu Reeves. And yes, the studio would like to talk Reeves back into starring. No word on whether Bullock would play leading lady (what else does she have to do?), but something tells me folks would rather Keanu if they had a choice between the two, hence Speed 2: Keanu-less Water Park Nightmare.

What say you? Speed 3 with Keanu? You down for it? And did the film Crank already give us the best possible Speed 3 premise?

'Speed 3': The Non-Existent Sequel Nobody Wants

Filed under: RumorMonger », Fandom », Images »

If the rumors circulating yesterday about a third Speed movie were true, the glut of Hollywood product would surely have reached a breaking point. It's not that another sequel to this maligned action franchise would necessarily suck. Almost a year ago, Dennis Hopper hinted that he might have some sort of role in an upcoming Speed movie, an appearance that could single-handedly elevate the thing to realm of brilliant camp (it would make a fine relative of Leprechaun 4: In Space). There's a distinction worth making, however, between camp and crap ... and a Speed movie set in space probably falls into the latter category. That's exactly what this placeholder suggests, offering the image of a troubled Sandra Bullock peering out the window of a rocketship above the guffaw-worthy title Speed: Ignition. Right.

Slashfilm did some homework and figured out that the site is a fake, which is a relief--because no studio would be crazy enough to back such a bad idea--but also, in a backwards sort of way, a bit of a letdown. Imagine what a brilliant catastrophe this thing could be. A rocky voyage to the stars where the only means of survival is lightspeed ahead! Keanu Reeves didn't bother showing up for Speed 2: Cruise Control, and you can imagine that he'd bail on this one, too. Somebody get Han Solo on the line.

Guardian Says 'Speed 3' Is Coming ... With Dennis Hopper!

Filed under: Action », Casting », Deals », Celebrities and Controversy », Remakes and Sequels »

When you're reading an interview with Dennis Hopper, you expect him to admit things like the following: that he once sold a priceless Lichtenstein painting for a thousand bucks, attended an orgy with Natalie Wood, and used to drink "half a gallon of rum and 30 beers a day." We're talking about Dennis Hopper, here. In order to surprise us, he's going to have to do a lot better than that -- and so he has. During an interesting interview with the Guardian that went up yesterday, Hopper held forth with some super-cryptic mumblings about his possible appearance in Speed 3 (!)

To back up a bit, it's the inteviewer who first brings up the topic, claiming to have some insider knowledge about it. He tells us, the reader, that the film is "due to include" a performance by Hopper, and that it's his intention to ask Hopper "plenty of questions" about it. I certainly hope so. When he finally gets around to it, however, the only thing Hopper will say is this: "It's a river of shit from which I have tried to extract some gold." Huh? The Speed series is a river of shit? The process of resurrecting your character for a third film when he clearly died in the first film is a river of shit? What are you talking about, druggy?

I personally think what we have here is an over-zealous reporter trying to make some news where none exists. Speed 2 more or less bombed at the box-office, when you consider its sizeable budget and the expectations that everyone had from the previous film. I've certainly heard nothing about a Speed 3, and as far as I know, no one is even thinking about it. So unless the movie is currently being filmed in complete secrecy under the title All About Steve (or Cloverfield), I think we can disregard this.

The Lake House Isn't All That Fictional

Filed under: Drama », Romance », Sci-Fi & Fantasy »

In the new film The Lake House, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock play residents of the same house, but in different years, who are able to correspond via time-traveling letters. Although the premise is pretty fantastic, the first response I get from people is not about the time displacement, but about the fact that the characters still practice the old-fashioned art of letter writing rather than email. After all, The Shop Around the Corner was already updated for the digital age as You've Got Mail. Now we get this film about physical, tree-wasting post?

Well, it turns out Reeves and Bullock can relate pretty well to their characters. They have been pen-pals, with the pen being literal, since they starred together in Speed twelve years ago. In fact Reeves doesn't even own a computer and avoids email as much as possible. This is Neo, for goodness sakes! Bullock defends him, though, saying that email is not as "special." She says, "I love keeping in contact with Keanu through letters because I can revisit our conversations whenever I like."

Jan de Bont Takes a Power Trip

Filed under: Action », Deals », Scripts », DIY/Filmmaking », Newsstand »

Best known for the film Speed, Jan de Bont has signed on to direct another action-packed thrill-ride called Stopping Power. Pic will revolve around a single father on vacation with his daughter and girlfriend. When the RV they're traveling in gets hijacked, the father finds himself wrapped up in a high-speed police chase across town, forced to act as a decoy in the getaway car.

Damn, talk about a crappy situation: One minute you're enjoying some Wheat Thins in the back of your RV, and the next you're being chased by the cops, wanted for a crime you did not commit and your family is missing. Sure, it gets you out of cleaning the RV's septic (tank? pipe? bag?) for the day but, personally, I'd clean that bad boy with a toothpick if it meant I would avoid going to prison.

Du Bont is also behind such films as Twister, The Haunting and, most recently, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life. Richard Shepard (The Matador) will be doing the rewrite off an original script penned by Eric Red. No word yet on the casting front, though I'm sure you will hear the name Keanu Reeves tossed around quite a bit. However, I could see Paul Walker landing this kind of gig.

 
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