star wars Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Slugging through the cold Monday morning, I took a moment to read the latest xkcd (a huge image through the link), and they've managed to boil some major cinematic experiences down into line charts. The latest installment of the web comic tackles Movie Narrative Charts; most specifically, the movie character interactions in Lord of the Rings, Star Wars (original trilogy), Jurassic Park, 12 Angry Men, and Primer.

The charts are actually a pretty intricate set of lines showing how each character progresses through the movie -- who they meet, and the main events and conflicts that take place. However, the big wow for me is in the overall look -- how that mass of lines evokes the same memories of confusion, or lack thereof, watching the films. There's the rolling but easy-to-follow storyline of Star Wars, the pure simplicity and ease of 12 Angry Men, and best of all -- the confusion of Lord of the Rings and Primer.

I could never get into the books, so watching Rings was an exercise in intrigued confusion -- trying to keep the characters straight, waiting for a slow moment to whisper a question, and trying to make sense of a thick storyline funneled into a film. And on the other end of the confusion spectrum, there's Primer -- the film that spins around and evokes stunned, hard-to-define confusion, the spiraling lines also mimicking a lot of the wide eyes of "what the f...?!" I saw after the film's screening at TIFF.

Sometimes it's terrible storytelling, sometimes it's confusion as an art form, and sometimes it's just the mind trying to deal with mass amounts of information. Xkcd managed to lay out some of the main moments of my cinematic confusion, but what are yours? What films leave you trying to follow and make sense of the narrative?

After reading Peter Hall's post on Kevin Spacey's stunning impersonations, I had to reacquaint myself with the old SNL sketch he mentioned and get as much Spacey as I could. (Check it out if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) From there, well, the handy site called YouTube suggested something else for me -- Kurt Russell's Star Wars audition.

If you didn't already know, he was one of the many actors vying for the role of Han Solo (according to IMDb, a list including Nick Nolte, Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson, and even -- egads -- Steve Martin). What's funny about the clip (after the jump) is how completely earnest and goodie Russell was playing it -- almost like the good-natured Disney fare from his youth. There was none of the true cockiness, ego, or charisma that made the character so memorable. No, no one could have done what Harrison Ford did with the role, but we all know that Russell had the charisma necessary for Mr. Solo. Or rather, that he would soon enough. Somewhere hidden inside that actor was the toughness, alluring machismo, and heroic wonder that thrived soon after in Escape from New York. My best guess: He didn't take this weird little flick seriously, at all.

Man, I'm so glad that "it" came out in Snake rather than Han, aren't you?

Let's face it, your the hero of your movie is only as good as your villain is bad. If you've got an amazing, swashbuckling, ass-kicking hero who faces off against someone wimpy, it just feels like you had an amazing appetizer and a lackluster main course. We want villains that we love to hate, not villains that we hate to love, and once we find them, we don't want to let go of them so easily. Just look at how much Darth Vader has dominated the world of villainy. He was in four of the six Star Wars movies, and is still pretty much the poster-boy for awesome villains.

But what about the villains who could have joined him? There's a whole slew of sub-villains who weren't given enough screen time, or were killed off too easily. Villains who deserve to roam the hallowed halls of the bad guys and girls club. We dedicate this Cinematical Seven to those who could have been great, but are instead relegated to the ranks of the Almost Perfect Villains Club.

Darth Maul

Speaking of Star Wars, Did this guy get a bad rap or what? He a Dark Lord of the Sith for pete's sake, yet he hardly talks, zips around on a scooter, and gets killed at the end of the only movie he appears in. He does kill Obi Wan's mentor, sure, but why not keep him around for later? He looked scary and cool at the same time, and wielded very cool double-ended saber. Plus, Ray Park did a kickass job playing him and making those fight scenes look amazing. Unfortunately, one chop to the midsection and he was never heard from again. Darth Vader went on to become a legend, but Darth Maul only became "that guy with the red face and the horns," and no one is rushing to make a movie about his origins. The Star Wars saga actually has a plethora of great villains we would like to see more of: Jabba the Hutt, Grand Moff Tarkin, Boba Fett, IG-88, and more.

When I closed my eyes and pictured the greatest villain costumes in sci-fi movies, I was surprised how often hair -- and headpieces -- come into play. That makes sense for those of us who are not costume purists because we're thinking of the character as a whole, and in movies we're very often looking at close-ups of villains. We want to get up close and personal, to study the sneer, to examine the evil eyes, to absorb the dismissive scowl, to observe the raised eyebrows.

Isn't it the whole package that sells a character as a villain? The actor makes all the difference in the world, no matter if he's buried under a ton of makeup or becomes nearly unrecognizable, but the costume plays an important role. In honor of all those who will sally forth this weekend in costumes that are good, bad, and ugly, we salute the designers of the top ten (plus a couple of bonus selections) greatest villain costumes in sci-fi movies, and the actors who wear them.

The Emperor Ming (Flash Gordon)

It takes a truly evil villain to pull off this particular outfit. Arrayed in varying shades of deep red and gold, Ming (the always game Max von Sydow) threatens to steal the show when those eyebrows are raised. Somehow Ming looks both sartorially forward-thinking -- what is that raised cowl doing back there except to frame his bald head -- and ridiculously, gloriously silly.

Read the rest over at SciFi Squad

If you're still on the lookout for the perfect movie-themed jack o' lantern patterns for Halloween, look no further because we've dug up something for everyone. Are you a stickler for the rules of Halloween (i.e. don't blow out the jack o' lanterns til after midnight...)? Try the bag-headed Sam from Trick 'R Treat. Jedi in training? Carve the Death Star so you can practice infiltrating it. Bonus: you and Lego Luke Skywalker can even blow it up once Halloween's over!

Personally, I always went for the grotesque or ironic celebrity pumpkins. One of my best Halloween creations was a glowing, sultry J. Lo pumpkin. (The best part was watching her wither and decay the next week. So evil!) I've always sworn by the patterns over at Zombie Pumpkins, where you can find just about every movie icon you can imagine. Download SUPER easy patterns like Freddy Krueger, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, the Joker, Jigsaw's puppet, Gremlins, and even assorted characters from the Harry Potterverse. (An Albus Dumbledore to protect your porch!) And yes, folks - they've even got new patterns from Twilight, Zombieland, and Michael Jackson, circa Thriller. Too soon?

Read on for more -- and the Death Star jack o' lantern -- over at SciFi Squad.

Um ... probably not. But the folks over at Market Saw seem to believe that they've uncovered secret galactic plans to create a brand new big-screen Star Wars trilogy in 3D. However, they claim these films wouldn't be directed by George Lucas -- instead, he'd pass them off to other directors like Steven Spielberg or Francis Ford Coppola (who Market Saw claims their source mentioned directly as a potential candidate). Yeah, definitely let me know when Coppola decides to direct a Star Wars film so I can look out my window and watch all the pigs flying.

Almost immediately after this rumor hit, folks began to read between the lines. Market Saw, who've been the unofficial Avatar fansite for awhile now, continually mention in their piece that Avatar has to do well in theaters in order for this new Star Wars trilogy to happen since Lucas wants the films in 3D and needs more theaters to come equipped with 3D technology. As AICN points out, it seems like someone at Fox is spinning a marketing web by putting the thought in folks' heads that if they go see Avatar, they'll be helping to bring new Star Wars movies to life.

From MS: "How seriously should you consider these rumors? Well it is coming from a source that SHOULD KNOW. This source is absolutely connected. So odds are it is seriously being talked about at Lucasfilm. Right now. Will it happen? AVATAR will have to hit and hit big and then all the stars have to align properly - all I can do is pass on the info."

Read the rest over at SciFi Squad

Their engines whine; their walls creak. These spaceships may look like antiques from the future, but many pack more punch under the hood than they let on. Never judge a book by its cover, and never judge a spaceship by its rust-holes and sputtering warp drive. What space-faring rattletraps make the cut in our top five list of "hunk of junk" spaceships?


5. EAGLE V from Spaceballs

The most impressive thing about the Eagle V is its amazingly pristine (and retro-hideous) 1973 Winnebago chassis. Piloted by Captain Lone Starr and his Mawg co-pilot, Barf, the Eagle V is a ship-for-hire last seen crash landing on the surface of MoonaVega. I would say it was last seen on the recent Spaceballs cartoon series, but that would imply that people actually watched it.

FEATURES: Interior shag carpeting, perfect for camping.

DRAWBACKS: Screen door, chemical toilet, small fuel tank.


4. THUNDER ROAD from The Explorers


The only ship on this list named after a Bruce Springsteen song, this is the vessel that carried Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix, and Jason Presson into outer space where they made first contact with a rubbery alien who could lip-sync to "Yakety Yak". Higher forms of intelligence, indeed. This bold trio built a craptacular capsule out of a rusty tilt-a-whirl, a garbage can, a busted TV, and Charles Foster Kane's sled, and somehow, not only managed to get it into space without imminent death, but impressed Dick Miller in the process. The vast loneliness of space caused so much psychological damage amongst the children that Phoenix OD'ed years later, Presson went off-the-grid, and Ethan Hawke married Uma Thurman.

FEATURES: Bubble-based technology provides the ship with its own oxygen supply.

DRAWBACKS: Bubble-based technology does not prevent the ship from sinking into the ocean at the end of the film.


Read the rest over at SciFi Squad

I have an odd fascination with fan made videos. I don't care if it's a 12 year old who got his hands on a copy of Adobe Premiere or a grown man who edits together fan made trailers for films that never existed (I love me some Raiders of the Lost Ark 1951 or Ghostbusters 1954), if someone spends enough time to put together a video born out of their passion for film, chances are I'm probably going to watch it at least once. Now, if you happen to edit together a music video for a catchy song comprised of film quotes, well, I'm probably going to play it on a loop for at least half an hour.

That is exactly what I've been doing with the below music video for Ricardo Autobahn's "The Golden Age of Video". Ricardo's own site describes it as "an epic production constructed of disco beats and film samples", which I'd say is a pretty fair assessment. Granted, it's not exactly the best song ever, but how can you not get a kick out of something that strings together samples from Freaks, Ghostbusters, The Godfather, Star Wars, Robocop, On the Waterfront, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and even Short Circuit into an addicting little medley? There's a good bit of TV show clips thrown in for good measure, but the majority of the 'lyrics' are taken from a bevy of film classics.

Oh, and if your place of work has a problem with Bill Murray describing what he just did to a ghost's rear end, I suppose his refrain classifies this as lightly not-safe-for-work. Enjoy.

UPDATE: Over on their site, ThinkGeek has announced that the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag will indeed be available for purchase this November, though quantities will be limited. Folks interested in the $99 purchase (which is a lot for a sleeping bag, but c'mon -- it's a pretty awesome sleeping bag) are urged to register for updates through ThinkGeek so that when the item does become available, you won't miss out. Click here for more info.

Read our original post from 7/8/09 below to catch up on all the hoopla ...

This past April Fool's Day, ThinkGeek ran their usual line of fictitious geek-related items, including this fantastic Tauntaun sleeping bag that recalls the scene from Empire Strikes Back when Han sliced open the animal to keep Luke warm. When we posted about it, a bunch of you were itching to purchase your own Tauntaun sleeping bags even though the item didn't exist. And, in reality, a lot of ThinkGeek readers fell for the joke because an unusually high number of folks actually attempted to order the thing.

After an advance screening of Drew Barrymore's rollicking, entertaining, and heartfelt Whip It, which opens tomorrow, some real-life roller derby players were asked about the movie's realism. (Ellen Page plays a teenage beauty pageant contestant who gets involved in the sport.) They all chimed in: "We don't get to give anyone bloody noses!"

Yes, sports movies based loosely on real life and set in the modern era tend to take liberties with the levels of violence involved in their sport. But sci-fi movies tend to ratchet up the bloody-nosed action to incredible levels, taking murder for granted. Life is cheap in the future, I suppose. With images of Ellen Page in roller skates and a faux-Girl Scout uniform in mind, not to mention the thought of Drew Barrymore herself with a bloody nose, I set off in search of the very best future sports movies -- and discovered that relatively few of any quality have been made. Thus, consider this list a sketchy compendium of what's out there. What am I missing? What future sports are not properly represented?

1. Rollerball in Rollerball
An easy choice, featuring James Caan at the height of his hard-bitten, rueful stardom in the 1970s. Norman Jewison's film is a self-righteous sermon about the dangers of thrill seeking, and a broadside against sports and popular entertainment in general. But when you have such exciting action in a sport that combines a hopped-up version of roller derby with football, chaos, and murder, who's complaining?

Read the rest over at SciFi Squad