Fair warning: This is a slight, trivial, and practically meaningless piece of upcoming movie news -- but it touches on three things we love here at Cinematical: Action movies based on cartoons based on ancient marketing campaigns, horny directors, and fake breasts. Here we go:

According to SFGate's Hot Dish blog, sexy actress Sienna Miller was forced to wear fake hooters so as to accentuate her cleavage in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Ms. Miller will be playing The Baroness, and apparently her god-given boobies were not adequate in the eyes of director Stephen Sommers. ("'I'm gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs," is what the director told her. Strange comment from a guy whose leading ladies have been Famke Janssen, Rachel Weisz, and Kate Beckinsale, three gorgeous women who aren't exactly D-cups.)

Ms. Miller notes that she was "mildly offended" by the breast issue, and I'm kind of surprised that the topic didn't come up before her first costume fitting, but hey ... The Baroness is pretty stacked. Perhaps Mr. Sommers is just trying to remain faithful to the source material -- or yeah, maybe he just likes big boobs. Lord knows the target demographic for G.I. Joe loves boobs. Check out images of Sienna as The Baroness in the gallery below.

...after the jump: more pics!

I do believe Ray Park is the first G.I. Joe actor to speak on the new movie -- which fits, as he's the first character the studio allowed us to see. Park gave a big interview to Geekscape! where he discussed Joe, Snake Eyes, Iron Fist, and the finer points of stunts and martial arts.

Park was determined to snag the role of Snake Eyes for himself. "One of the reasons I always wanted to play Snake Eyes is because I played as him when I was a kid. Star Wars fans and the fans I've met at conventions have said 'You'd be the best Snake Eyes ever if they did a GI Joe movie!' So when I heard they were actually going to do it I did everything possible to try and get in a meeting or try and get an audition cause I wanted to do it for myself, I wanted to do it for the fans and I wanted to do it for my cousins and all my nephews and my kids. It's great to be here and to be able to tell those stories."

It is a regular Stephen Sommers reunion on G.I. Joe. Latino Review reports that Brendan Fraser has been cast as Gung Ho, the Cajun gunnery sergeant. But don't get too excited to see Fraser sporting that Village People outfit -- word has it that it's a cameo. He's already finished filming his scene, a training sequence at The Pit.

LR says an offer has also been made to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson to play Hector Delgado, aka Shipwreck. He hasn't yet accepted, but what red-blooded male is going to turn down a role in G.I. Joe? Despite the difference in ethnicities, the Rock would be a good fit for the popular character -- and he has the right humor to have a pet parrot making wisecracks at him.

You know, as I type this, it occurs to me that for most people, The Rock is probably a bigger name than Fraser these days. I think the latter is on the way to a comeback -- but will he actually stay working this time, or vanish off into the private life again? Perhaps he won't have a choice, the Gung Ho costume may force him into seclusion. As we wait for the Rock to commit, let's speculate on which Sommers veteran we will see next. I think Rachel Weisz is a no go, but surely someone from Van Helsing should appear before too long. What's Richard Roxburgh up to? They better nab him soon, G.I. Joe opens August 7th, 2009.

If you were hankering for more details about the big-screen G.I. Joe, then today is your lucky day, because Hasbro's Brian Goldner is feeling chatty. MTV news spoke with G.I. Joe's executive producer and managed to score some important details about the feature film. Goldner is chief operating officer at Hasbro, and was responsible for releasing Joe back in the 80's to millions of military-minded children everywhere.

First up -- what the filmmakers have in store for main bad guy, Cobra Commander. According to Goldner: "In effect, this is all about the rise of Cobra Commander. ... For fans, they're really going to love this, because we take them on a journey. ... We have to go through the first chapter and then build from there." Rumors currently have Joseph Gordon-Levitt taking over the role of Cobra, but that has yet to be confirmed.

But it's not just about the bad-guys. Goldner also hinted about some new back-story on some of the more familiar characters, including Baroness (played by Sienna Miller) and Destro (Christopher Eccleston). As for the 'rah-rah military' tone of earlier incarnations of Joe, Goldner says that while the original feel, will still be there, we shouldn't start looking for any metaphors about global politics or foreign policy. According to Goldner: "Clearly, the American military is involved, as are other forces. But at the end of the day, the force that matters is the G.I. Joe force, and the Pit, and all the things that relate to that."

Now, what would a G.I. Joe movie be without the toy tie in? Goldner confirmed that Hasbro will revive the 3 and 3/4 inch figures from the 80's. "[That size] gives people a chance to get all the figures but get all of the vehicles. So it's going to be in that scale. ... Very true to where we were in the 1980s, and then we'll take it forward" -- gee I can't wait for my Marlon Wayans figure with kung-fu grip. G.I. Joe is set for release on August 7th, 2009.

Like most people, when news broke that English party girl Sienna Miller had signed to star in Stephen Sommers' big-screen G.I. Joe flick, I was a little surprised at the choice. Usually, when you think female action stars, Miller probably would not be at the top of the list. Luckily, she seems to be taking the part seriously, and in between champagne cocktails at a pre-BAFTA bash, gave the gossip wags at The Sun a little sneak peak into her preparations to play the infamous Baroness. Miller told the press that, "I've started taking boxing lessons, and I've also had to learn how to fire guns with live ammunition. I'm a baddie, running around kicking everyone while wearing tight, thigh-high boots...I'm getting muscles everywhere."

The official synopsis for the film reads: "From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite co-ed GI JOE team, based from its headquarters The Pit, deploys the latest in next-gen spy and military equipment to fight crooked arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious COBRA organization from plunging the world into chaos." In the original Joe stories, Baroness was COBRA Organization's intelligence officer. Serving as a lieutenant to Cobra Commander, Baroness was a dark femme fatale type. In both the comics and the cartoons, she had a romantic relationship with Destro. I guess now that a fellow countryman has been cast as Destro, Sommers might be looking to include the romantic sub-plot.

Okay, so we lied -- it's just one photo. But it's the first photo of Dennis Quaid as General Hawk in the live-action version of G.I. Joe, due out in theaters next summer (2009). IESB snagged the first look, and it's not a terribly exciting one. Quaid pretty much looks like he usually does, except his hair is pushed down a bit and he's wearing the outfit of a general. I imagine when this photo was taken, he was on break and chatting up his wife on the cell phone (checking up on his new twins, perhaps?). Starring Quaid, Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marlan Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park ... and more -- G.I. Joe will be directed by Stephen Sommers, and will arrive in theaters on August 7, 2009. Filming began this week, so expect a lot more photos to show up in the coming days.

Well, I guess this means General Hawk won't die in the first film. While making the press junket rounds for his latest film Vantage Point, Dennis Quaid spoke a bit about his role as General Hawk in the upcoming live-action G.I. Joe flick to Collider. Not surprisingly, Paramount is hoping to turn G.I. Joe into the next big action franchise, and Quaid confirmed that he had signed on for three films. Did you ever think, at this point in his career, that Dennis Quaid would sign on for three G.I. Joe films? Apparently the dude is looking to get dirty, and more power to him. On the film and his character, Quaid says, "We grew up with G.I. Joe and it's kind of a cartoon thing...it's a big popcorn type of tent pole action movie that...it's not deep. The character of General Hawk that I'm playing is kind of a cross between Chuck Yeager and Sgt. Rock and maybe a naïve Hugh Hefner thrown in there. General Hawk's aide to camp is a Victoria Secret supermodel so how serious can it be?"

Quaid also admitted that he might go "a little blond" with regards to his character's look, and that he's currently lifting weights, "trying to look like the cartoon." He compared the tone of the film to "the old James Bond's -- like the Dr. No's -- where the mastermind has his own private island and all these people are wearing matching coveralls." Finally, he says he's only shooting for two weeks out of five. For this new, live-action film, Stephen Sommers will direct a cast that already includes a ton of folks like Channing Tatum (Duke), Sienna Miller (The Baroness), Rachel Nichols (Scarlett), Ray Park (Snake Eyes), Marlon Wayans (Ripcord), Arnold Vosloo (Zartan), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Heavy Duty) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. G.I. Joe is due out in theaters on August 7, 2009.

My goodness, it seems like everywhere you turn somebody else is signing up for the big-screen adaptation of G.I. Joe. Variety reports that Dennis Quaid has now signed to star as General Hawk. You know, your typical 'grizzled' military man. He's probably going to have a cigar chomped in his teeth for three-quarters of the film. The news came on the heels of official word that Channing Tatum had been hired to play Duke; the second in command of the elite team with 'kung-fu grip'. Yesterday, Erik had also reported that Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy) will be playing Zartan, but so far there is no official word.

It looks like Quaid is technically one of the biggest name stars in the cast, which includes Marlon Wayans as Ripcord and Sienna Miller as The Baroness. Some of the other 'Joe' characters who will be making an appearance are Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who will play Heavy Duty, Byung-hun Lee as Storm shadow, Ray Park as Snake Eyes, and Said Taghmaoui as Breaker.

So far, there aren't many details about the plot, but what we do know is that Stuart Beattie's script will focus on "A European-based military unit known as Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (G.I.J.O.E.), a hi-tech, international force of special operatives that takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer". There are still a few more spots to fill, but it looks like director Stephen Sommers has almost finished assembling his team. Just in time too, since the film is scheduled to start shooting next month. G.I. Joe is scheduled for release on August 7th, 2009.

UPDATE: IESB now says that David Murray (a theater actor, apparently) has landed the role of Destro in G.I. Joe. Destro is the main villain in the film, and is described as the "faceless power behind Military Armaments Research System, the largest manufacturer of state-of-the-art weaponry."

The ensemble cast for the highly-anticipated live-action G.I. Joe flick is starting to come together, and IESB reports that Arnold Vosloo has just landed the role of Zartan in the film, who's described as a "mercenary who works with Destro and Cobra. He is one of the main villains in the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero comic and animated series." The name might not automatically ring a bell, however you should remember Vosloo from his role as High Priest Imhotep (aka The Mummy) in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. He's also starred in a number of films; most recently as Colonel Coetzee in Blood Diamond. Vosloo joins Sienna Miller (The Baroness), Ray Park (Snake Eyes), Marlon Wayans (Ripcord), Channing Tatum (Duke), Byung-hun Lee (Storm Shadow), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Heavy Duty), Rachel Nichols (Scarlett), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Rex) and Said Taghmaoui (Breaker) in the film, which will be directed by Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) and is due out August 7, 2009.

I'm not very familiar with Zartan, but IESB says the character is "a bit of a chameleon and can imitate anyone to an exact physical and vocal likeness. In the cartoon and comics his chameleon-like abilities were done through a mix of holograms, illusions and hypnosis. Zartan is also fluent in twenty languages and dialects, a ventriloquist, an expert martial artist, master archer and the leader of the biker gang known as the Dreadnoks who also suffers from Paranoid Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder." I imagine this casting choice came from Sommers himself, who's worked with Vosloo on both Mummy films. The guy was creepy as all hell in those films, so I imagine he'll fit in well here. What do you think?