Don't worry: this post is perfectly safe to read. The link included, perhaps a little less so.

This might prove to be most amusing to those few souls who bothered to see this Twilight flick over the weekend -- since they've presumably already torn through the three books that follow -- but for everyone else, here's a word of warning: the image included after this link is one of a Queens subway poster for the film on which some considerate individual has succinctly written key spoilers from the remainder of the series.

(Also, he/she drew a penis on Edward's cheek. For dramatic effect, I suppose.)

Some of the remarks shared, I must admit to having skimmed over, and with any luck, they'll be lost to either apathy or amnesia once the other films come around (I can already feel the former kicking in). Only the first sequel, New Moon, has formally been announced, but come on: most people don't hesitate to print money once they're given a license to.

Look, I know the drill. If any element of the Twilight movie varies even slightly from the way you pictured it in your head, then it is the worst film ever made and you hate it and Catherine Hardwicke has ruined your childhood. Or, alternatively, you've built up so much anticipation for the movie that you're going to love love LOVE it no matter what, even if it's bad, you don't care, you refuse to listen to any criticisms LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I know how it goes.

The book's most devoted fans are seeing the film anyway, so I guess I'm talking to everyone else -- those who haven't read the book, or who (like me) read it, mostly enjoyed it, then didn't give it another thought. Is the Twilight movie of any use to those people? Or, as a friend asked me, does it work purely as a vampire movie?

Oh, heavens, no. Noooooo. This is not a vampire movie. This is a somber teen romance that happens to have some vampires in it. Little attempt is made to establish the mythology of the bloodsuckers, and the supernatural elements are downplayed -- a wise move, since the special effects, when they are necessary, are at about the level you'd expect from a movie that is more focused on romance than sci-fi action.

All of which is in keeping with the tone of Stephenie Meyer's book, which is eight parts romance and two parts action/fantasy. That's why it's been such a phenomenal success with women, and why the male-dominated geek industry -- the Nerderati, if you will -- has been so skeptical of that success. "What?" they scoff. "A super-popular vampire book that we, as men, AREN'T interested in? Inconceivable! It must be terrible, and its popularity is probably being over-reported!"

Remarkably faithful to the spirit of its source material, the film version of Twilight crams most of the key episodes from Stephenie Meyer's novel into its breathless, 122-minute running time. Under the direction of Catherine Hardwicke (Thirteen), Twilight gallops along handsomely, showcasing the cloudy, misty beauty of its gorgeous Pacific Northwest forest locations; you can practically smell the pine trees and feel the crunch of fallen leaves beneath your feet. Using voice-over narration sparingly, screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg trots out all the major (and most of the minor) characters from the book, recounting the story in abbreviated fashion while demonstrating respect for Meyer's novel and its huge, faithful audience.

Twilight may not add up to much more than the sum of its parts, but those parts can be mighty entertaining, especially when handsome Edward (Robert Pattinson, oozing uncertain charm) is whooshing through the woods with plucky Bella (Kristen Stewart, self-assured and determined) on his back. Still, the romance at the heart of the book has been shorn of some of its heart in the translation to the big screen, sacrificed on the altar of a broader demographic. Readers of the book could feel somewhat shortchanged by the relentless emphasis on forward momentum rather than romantic fantasy; the flip side is that newcomers can enjoy the whirlwind pace and the brooding, ominous atmosphere, and everyone can revel in the spectacle of flying vampires playing a pinball version of sandlot baseball.

At the end of a long day of interviews promoting Twilight, it might be exhaustion -- or high spirits -- that makes Kristen Stewart so blunt; asked if she's thought about walking away from the series just to mess with people's heads, she laughs: " Oh, God, yeah. I've totally had the thought; it would be so easy for me to send so many hundreds of girls into such a frenzy. It took a long time for me to admit that I was too bogged down by the first book, to admit to these girls that I wasn't as ... I'm just as obsessed as they are; I read it from an entirely different perspective and had to live it for three months. I can't start the next book unless I have the job to do, or I'm just gonna drive myself insane -- and even this, they don't get that. They're like "What? How could you not read the book ...?" Yeah, I have thought, many times. "What could I do?" It'd be so easy. ..."

Stewart spoke about coming to grips with a dedicated group of fans, getting into character, changing Bella's wardrobe, how she kept the natural in Twilight's supernatural story and much more in Los Angeles.

Cinematical: There's this great moment in Twilight where Bella's driving by the diner as her friends are walking out, and she's running for her life from vampires, and her friends are happy and she's sad ... Was it hard building a naturalistic character in this film, or was it a good place to retreat to, from all the special effects and supernatural stuff?

Kristen Stewart: It's funny; when we were doing the film, it didn't feel like a big effects movie. They were never around; we didn't have the money to pull it off; everything was in-camera. It always felt like a character-driven movie; it always felt like I may as well just be doing an indie, except there's like fifteen thousand more people sitting behind the monitor with opinions. In this case it was ... I feel like it's a very real world; the only little minor detail is that (Edward's) a vampire. And that could be very representative of any problem that a guy you're with may have, any sort of hang-up he may have; this is just a really sort of glorified extreme version of that. So, it was always so rooted in reality that no, that doesn't really apply.

Asked what she would tell theatergoers who have no interest in vampires that might make them want to see Twilight, her new film adapting Stephenie Meyers' best-selling story of immortal longings and teen love, director Catherine Hardwicke laughs: "I would say that when you come out of the theater you might be in danger of whoever went with you ... just grab(bing) you and start making out with you. ..." The director of gritty urban fare like Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown, Hardwicke also explained how she truly identified with Twilight's teen heroine and got into the supernatural series: "When I read the book, I just got drawn in, and ... as I read the book I just started becoming Bella, and just breathing and hyperventilating, like her, and getting mezmerized by the whole experience. ..." Hardwicke spoke about undead romance, adapting a much-loved book, the classic vampire visions she avoided, and much more with Cinematical in Los Angeles. You can listen to the podcast here at Cinematical by clicking below:

You can also download the interview in full right here -- and those of you with RSS Podcast readers can find all of Cinematical's podcast content at this link.

The craziness about the romance between a high school girl and a beautiful vampire has stretched across the Atlantic into some very strange territory. Blogging for The Guardian UK, Lisa Marks claims that Twilight has spawned a "rather interesting hybrid demographic who are getting their knickers in a twist" about the film's upcoming release (November 21 in the US, December 19 in the UK).

She defines the demographic as "teenage girls, young female adults and their mums" and says the demographic needs a name. She prefers "Twums," though she also suggests "Vampults," "Fantaseenagers," and "Mothersuckers." I finally made time to read the first novel in the Twilight series this summer, though I haven't delved into the many fan sites that have blossomed since the book's publication. But if you need a name to refer to Twilight fans -- besides, I don't know, "Twilight fans" -- what's wrong with "Twilighters"?

The larger question, though, and one that might have broader implications, is whether this "hybrid demographic" is actually new and will support films other than Twilight. Odd designations aside, that's the claim of Marks' blog post, but she doesn't point to any other possibilities down the road.

What other movies could spark interest among teenage girls, young female adults, and slightly older women (a press release from Fandango claims 42% of respondents to their online survey about Twilight are 25 or older) to this degree? The Guardian thinks romance is the driving force behind the "new" demographic, but doesn't the book (and series) tap into a wider array of issues, beyond the love story, that makes it appealing to so many people?

For all you Harry Potter fans who are also devoted to a certain series of teen-vampire romance novels, here's something that should help you deal with Thursday's devastating news about Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince being pushed back to next summer. Summit Entertainment announced today that with Harry having vacated the November 21 spot, they're going to fill it with Twilight, bumping it up a full three weeks from its original date of December 12.

While some fans wondered, irrationally, if the Harry Potter move was to get away from Twilight, Summit's CEO says Twilight never had any delusions of being more powerful than the boy wizard at the box office. "With a giant franchise like Harry Potter in the market, we had to stay clear of it," Rob Friedman told Variety -- hence the original date well away from Half-Blood Prince. "Their move created an opportunity to bring the movie to fans three weeks earlier."

Once November 21 opened up, the move was really a no-brainer. As a press release from Summit points out, movie theaters get very crowded around the holidays, and Twilight will be able to open on far more screens on November 21 than it could have on December 12. Now it'll be opening the Friday before Thanksgiving, too, which is nearly always a plus. Its only competition will be Disney's animated Bolt. The only loser here is Entertainment Weekly, whose Fall Movie Preview is now wrong again, before most readers have even seen it. (Or, from another point of view, now that issue is even more of a collector's item.)

What do you say? Are you excited about getting Twilight sooner? To those of you who have been sending Warner Bros. wrathful messages about the Harry Potter move, does this quell your anger somewhat? Will you at least be able to live and function and carry on?

NOTE: This post discusses Twilight, the movie, and the Twilight book series (particularly the latest book, Breaking Dawn), and is SPOILER HEAVY. If you've not read the books and don't want to read spoilers, do NOT read this post until you've read them. It's also longer than my usual column, as I had a lot of ground to cover, so if you hate reading long pieces, skip it. Thanks.

You're probably aware, even if you're not into books about vampires and clumsy, average teenage girls falling in love with one, that there's a popular book series called the Twilight Saga, and the first book in the series, Twilight, is being adapted for the big screen by director Catherine Hardwicke. What you may not be aware of is the little undercurrent of female writers decrying the series as inherently anti-feminist.

The Twilight series grew in popularity, mostly off the radar of the feminist set, until it got so popular that the feminists started to take notice -- and offense. I first became aware of this anti-feminist backlash when Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries (among other girly books) responded on her blog to readers writing her to ask what she thought of the series, thusly: " I didn't take my husband's last NAME when we got married. Do you honestly think I'd like a story about a girl considering changing SPECIES for a guy? No offense to any of you, but as a feminist, I just can't go there... "

I found Cabot's take interesting because I'm a feminist myself, who also didn't take my husband's last name when we got married, but I don't happen to find the series inherently anti-feminist. Nonetheless, since the release of the fourth book in the series, Breaking Dawn, on August 2, the feminist mutterings have started to escalate to a dull roar.

Boy, you miss a few weeks work to move 2,000 miles, and you fall behind on all kinds of things going on in the world of Twilight. All you Twilighters have, no doubt, been keeping up to speed with everything that's been going on out there -- you're making plans to attend Breaking Dawn parties, planning what you're going to wear, entering giveaway contests, and getting your Twilight-inspired costumes put together (who knew there were so many varieties of vampire fangs out there?).

I know, you have it much more together than I do on all the Twilight madness, but hey, I've been on the road with four kids, a dog and a cat all crammed into a 1998 Ford Windstar, moving back to Seattle, so I'm just now getting around to catching up. So here's a rundown of all-things Twilight for you -- in case you, like me, have been having a busy summer.

Cinematical is stoked to have received this exclusive Twilight e-card widget for all you Twilighters out there. I know that you, like me, are anxiously awaiting both the August 2 release date of Breaking Dawn, the fourth book in the series, and the December 12 release of the hotly anticipated Twilight movie. This will give you a little something to do to kill the time while you're waiting.

Edward looks much more ... vampirish than in the earlier cast shots we saw, and you'll note that his eyes are most assuredly topaz here. What do you think of the pic? Check it out, send it to all your Twlight-mania friends, and enjoy! For more on Twilight, feel free to visit the film's official website.