I have to admit ... while I am a fan of certain Police songs -- and I definitely had a moment in the 7th grade when I actually owned a Police record and listened to it regularly -- I think Sting is really pretty annoying. And I'm not excited at all about a Police reunion. In fact I feel taken advantage of. Sting is just weird ... in a 'South Park' way. He's weird to me the way Yanni or Fabio are weird. And I resent (a little) having to sit through his awful performance.

Generally, I think band reunions just suck. They shouldn't be allowed; they (reunions) are wrong, and in so many ways just not fair. Once a band breaks up, for whatever reason ... they should stay that way. The problem is that we (the public) allow this to happen. And we allow it in a way that we wouldn't allow for any other artist. I mean, what if Leonardo Da Vinci decided, 15 years after he painted the original, to repaint the Mona Lisa? The public would cry, "Haven't you got anything new?" Or what if a designer decided suddenly to just put out one of his old collections again, because it was popular the first time. We would cry: "BULLSHIT!"

But the worst part about the Police reunion to me is the message it sends to other bands of the same ilk. That maybe it's OK for them to get back together. Holy crap ... can you imagine? What if some of the Police's contemporaries from back in the day suddenly appeared together? Ha!! Huey Lewis and the News, Dexys Midnight Runners, The J. Geils band, Toto. What a mess we would have on our hands, you know? I say, if you want to be around in 15 years then you have to stay in the game for 15 years. You have to stay together, and relevant, and touring and proliferating. Playing only in Vegas doesn't count. You have to stay IN THE GAME. Like the Red Hot Chili Peppers for instance ...

• Keira Knightly Online really must like the spiffy red coat Keira's wearing around Sundance (right), because they have a whole gallery of pics of her wearing it.
• Our friends over at GreenCine Daily have a great comprehensive list up of all the Sundance film reviews out there.
• Flavorpill Sundance scored a video interview with Destricted director Larry Clark. Wonder if he waxed eloquent on that whole sex with a bulldozer thing that had people walking out of his film?
• Perez Hilton has the scoop on how N'syncer Lance Bass caught his coat on fire because he got all excited about getting a glass sex toy at the Booty Parlor gifting suite. Sounds like a Sundance urban legend to me, but Perez swears it happened.
• Stella Daily, one of the crossword geeks featured in Wordplay, has a blog entry up about an up-close-and-personal meeting with Glenn Close at a screening of the film.
• U2s The Edge looks, well, very Edgy; the Police reunite at Sundance, but Stewart and Andy fail to get Sting drunk enough to agree to a real reunion of the band; and Chicago Tribune's Mark Caro gets screwed out of an exclusive interview with Jennifer Aniston and Catherine Keener and takes the high road, passing on the "5 reporters on 2 celebs" backup offer. Way to go, Mark!
• Latina Lista has an excellent run-down of the numerous films at Sundance and Slamdance dealing with illegal immigrants and border crossings.

 

 

Confession time: I adore Dune. The bad effects, the horrible techno music, the giant worms - it's all magic to me. I even have a Feyd action figure. No lie. Plus, since I read the book before I saw the movie I could actually follow it, which probably made the whole thing a lot more palatable than it would have been otherwise. (I have a friend who saw a preview screening way back in the day - the audience was given an explanatory booklet to read before the movie, which is never a good sign.) Needless to say, I was thrilled when the big fancy anniversary DVD was released and preordered it at the earliest possible moment. As a result, I fell right into Universal's trap - little did I know that, just a few months later, they would be releasing a THREE HOUR EXTENDED VERSION of the movie! Sigh. Here, Universal: just take my paycheck.

Due out January 31, the DVD has a lot of those vague extras that rarely live up to your expectations - things like "Designing Dune," "Production Notes," and "Special Effects" - but the whole extended version thing (Alternate ending! A fight scene we haven't seen before!) can excuse a lot of filler, if in fact that's what those features turn out to be. There are, however, a few extras that sound more interesting, like a new documentary and some behind-the-scenes stuff from personal collections. A commentary or two (in addition to not being a single-disc flipper - what the hell?!) is what this movie is really crying out for, but I guess we shouldn't be too picky if we're finally getting to see the movie in a form closer to what David Lynch originally intended.

Edit:  There are more details about the extras, as well as some information about which version of the film Lynch prefers here. Thanks, Elrond.

Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out, is a documentary about the punk/pop band derived from Super8 films shot by drummer Stewart Copeland. Sounds promising based on the level of access the director has to his subjects and the fact that the band broke up at the top of their game. After the break up fans were left with only their memories of a hard rocking Sting, who traded a kick-ass band for a life of Jazzy interludes on Light FM and sellout Jaguar commercials. In fact, sell out would be a kind assessment of Sting in the minds of most Police fans.

The film starts as the Police head out on their first US tour in the late seventies. This consists of long shots driving down the road and people cavorting in hotel rooms--nothing we haven't seen before. The voiceover from Copeland reveals little, and 40 minutes into the film I'm left wondering if anything will ever happen.

During all this time we're subjected to grainy, shaky video with horrible sound. It would be easy to forgive the poor quality of the video if it captured some rocking early performances, but the director/cameraman was too busy playing the drums at too many performance,s I guess.

Predictably the crowds develop from single digits to six figures, but the characters don't develop at all. The Police haven't said more than 20 lines to the camera 45 minutes into the film, and most surprisingly no one is taking drugs, fighting, or running around naked with groupies. Sting--who you would think would be an interesting person--has nothing to say.

Others on Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out: Variety's Dennis Harvey was decidedly unimpressed, calling the film "a trite, whitewashed-to-blankness vanity project."

Man, what is it with drummers and movies this week? First Tommy Lee stars in a documentary, and now Police drummer/long-time soundtrack composer Stewart Copeland is directing one. Copeland, who can be seen with a camera to his eye from time to time in Police Around the World, is now going public with the Super 8 footage he shot during the band's tours over the years. (And now, as a long-time Police worshiper, I have to take a minute to dance wildly around the room. Ok, I'm back. Thank you.)

The film, titled Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out, will be shown publicly for the first time at Sundance later this month, though Copeland initially intended it as "a love letter that he intended to share only with his fellow Police-men...as well as a few close friends." Everyone Stares is reportedly performance-based, and includes a voice-over from its director describing his experiences on tour. As exciting as it is to simply hear that this movie exists, though, the best news for Police fans is the article's final sentence: "Copeland is in talks with Universal Music & Video Distribution about releasing the soundtrack, which would include the derangements ['seven mash-ups of sorts that he created using the original multitracks of the songs'], and the DVD." WOO HOO!

Even the thought of this movie is incredible, and I for one I will be heavily pressuring/desperately begging Cinematical's Sundance team to make it a viewing priority. Pretty please?