swag Tagged Articles at Cinematical

While my kids probably would have preferred to have the Hulk Smash hands that Erik got this week, they were temporarily jazzed with this week's cool swag: The Love Guru Magic 8-Ball! He's groovy! He looks like a molded plastic Jesus, only with a Madonna-esque birthmark and an unfortunate discount eyebrow-waxing job! He wears flowers and love beads!

And he answers all your deepest life questions with such sage responses as "Yo Momma," "The Only Way Out is In," and "Touch the Holiness."

Since the arrival of the Official Indiana Jones Bullwhip, every time the UPS or DHL truck pulls up to our house my kids are all in a tizzy to see what's been delivered. This morning, when a big box was dropped off, they knew it was more than just another "boring grown-up movie," and they anxiously crowded around for me to open the box. My suggestion that I might wait until I finished my coffee was met with wails of "Mooooooommmmmm!", so I gamely ripped into the box and lifted the contents from the wads of brown paper wrapping:

Although box office takes continue to top eight billion dollars in revenue every year, it looks like Hollywood is in for a a bit of a Blue Christmas as gift giving continues to slip. According to this article in Variety, the Grinch appears to be taking over the duties of handing out presents and bonuses, and this is the pre-epiphany Grinch, we're talking about the miserly, Scooge-like one. So a lot of Tinseltown (ironic name, eh?) employees could be heading home with coal, or possibly a membership in the Jelly-of-the-Month club.

Most employees depend (or hope) on some sort of a Christmas bonus at the end of the year. When it doesn't come, you feel like you got Scrooged. Hollywood tightens their belt in increments every year to try to save on costs by doing things like shooting out of the country, nixing big budget films like Halo, and minimizing their risk wherever they can. During a time of year where we often find ourselves doing a little soul searching, would it kill to slip a little heartfelt sentiment and some sort of material goods in there?

As someone who has worked in the trenches of the industry, a little bit can go a long way. Our Christmas bonuses vaporized awhile ago, and the company Christmas parties were slimmed down to basically a few munchies and drinks in the parking lot, and it was like pouring cold water on our morale. Hollywood bosses, if you're reading this, consider taking your team out to lunch and telling 'em how much you need 'em. They'll appreciate it. The rest of you, carry on and keep checking your stocking. The Grinch can't make it every year.

Way back at Oscar-time, a little government agency called the Internal Revenue Service made an announcement that it was cracking down on the "gift bags" Oscar presenters had been getting for decades, and would henceforth consider the spendy swag (this year's "bag" was rumored to be worth about $100,000) to be taxable income. On Thursday morning, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences (AMPAS) -- those folks who run Hollywood's most pretigious self-congralulatory event, the Oscars -- and the IRS simultaneously released press releases that they had "reached a settlement" on the goodie-bag tax. Gee, it must be nice to have the weight to get the IRS to negotiate with you like that. Last time I checked, they didn't give a whit about my opinion on how much money they want from me each year.

Gifts, sayeth the IRS, are given soley out of "affection, respect, or similar impulses for the recipients," and gift bags and gifting suites (where celebs can come in and build-their-own-swag-bag) do not quality as such. Well, duh. Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken the IRS this long to get around to nailing celebs for expanding their already exorbitant salaries with free goodies like $10,000 watches and spa trips to Hawaii. (There's a great aside in the Variety story linked to above about an unnamed star who gave a $10,000 swag-bag watch to his mother -- who then tried to return the watch for cash to a Beverly Hills store. Nice try, lady.)

What, oh what, will Hollywood do without its swag? Don't fret -- celebs will still be able to get their swag, they'll just have to fill out tax paperwork in order to claim it. Or they can give it away to charity. Oscar presenters next year won't be given the option -- the AMPAS board voted in April to do away with gift bags -- but AMPAS prez Sid Ganis says, "We still want to be able to express our gratitude, and we'll figure out a way to do that that doesn't come with a tax bill attached." So there, take THAT, IRS. The Hollywood Foreign Press, which runs the Golden Globes, is expected to bring the issue of gifting celebs up at the next Board meeting. But whatever will the swag kings (and queens) of the world do, if the awards shows and festivals stop needing them?

The best thing that may come out of all of this? An end to the predatory marketing companies who have taken over Sundance and attracted celebs with only the diciest connections to indie film to the fest (whatever will Sundance be without Paris Hilton running around in fur boots and nearly falling drunk over balconies?). With no swag around to attract all those celebs who are more interested in snagging armloads of freebies, the Sundance folks might actually be able to get back to running a film festival.

If you're feeling a bit left out and unglam because nobody burdened you with a $65,000 bag-o-swag this awards season, fret no more. George Clooney, director, Oscar-award-winning actor, and apparently all around good guy (in addition to being my long-time secret movie star boyfriend), has donated the swag bag he got for being a presenter at the Oscars to United Way to auction off as a fundraiser. Proceeds, according to the United Way website, are earmarked for "hurricane rebuilding and recover efforts". Now you have the opportunity not only to possess your very own bag of Oscar swag, formerly possessed and even touched by George Clooney, but you can feel good that the money you spend on it is going to a worthy cause.

The auction for the bag starts at 12:01am on March 22, on the United Way website, so get those fingers limbered up and start bidding for some swag!

Sure, it's an honor just to be nominated. But for those poor folks who don't get to take home a naked golden man, it isn't all bad: StarStyle Salon got a peek inside the swag bags for the nominees who don't win an Oscar on Sunday night, and the spoils for the loser are pretty sweet. The losers get a $27,000 luxury gift package at the Las Vegas Mirage Hotel and Casino (hey, that would be pretty cool if I actually liked Vegas), which includes tickets to lots of cool things, a massage, food, a bottle of Cristal, and presumably lots of first-class ass-kissing.

The bags also include a Wonderbra (that'll be great for the guys like George Clooney who have to gain weight and grow man-boobs for a part), personal training to help eliminate the flab after the film is done shooting, Brazilian swimwear (which will probably require waxing of unsightly body hair in some fairly sensitive places), and a supply of K-Y Touch Massage lubes for...well, for relaxing after all that working out and waxing.

You can check out the full list of loser swag here. Not sure what the winners get, but hey, if this is what you get for being a loser, I can only imagine.

 

One of the paradoxes of Hollywood is that the more money you have, the more companies want to give you their expensive stuff - for free. Over the past several years, the concept of "gifting" celebs, both nominees and presenters, at awards shows, has grown to the point that it almost eclipses the show itself. The Grammy gift baskets were worth $54,000, the Golden Globes swag worth $62,000. Each.  During Sundance, Cinematical talked with Jono, Moviefone's "swag king", about the phenomena, and what differentiates good swag from bad.

What's in it for companies? In theory, the chance to get their product in the hands of trend-setting celebs, with the hope that when commoners (that would be us) see Gwyneth Paltrow taking a free cruise valued at $22,000, we'll somehow be inspired to do the same. I don't know about you, but hey, sure -- if a cruise is good enough for Gwynnie, heck, I'll dig that $22K out of my couch cushions and catch the next cruise out of the Port of Seatle. Or not.

While we at Cinematical aren't really into the fashion or parties of Sundance, the festival is known for everything Hollywood has, including outlandish parties and high-end fashion. Gifting consultant Jono, working in association with Moviefone, stopped by our fireplace at the Yarrow for a quick Q&A. Jono has been working in the fashion industry creating outlandishly gaudy giftbags for celebrities for New York Fashion Week and other events over the past 10 years.  This year's Sundance is his first time in Park City, and he's here working in association with Moviefone.  We sat down and talked with him for a few minutes about the idea of gifting, and he even reviewed one of the giftbags we recieved at a festival event.  Pretty entertaining interview, check it out at the download below.

Format
QT MPEG4 (3IVX), 10:45, 51.8 MB

[Download Here]