sword and the sorcerer Tagged Articles at Cinematical

About eight months ago I got some sequel news that stunned me to the very core of my mega-geeky being: After 25 years of waiting, I would finally be getting my sequel to The Sword and the Sorcerer. (For a recap of this nerdly saga, click right here.) Suffice to say that "Tales of the Ancient Empire" was about to become a reality, and if you happen to be a movie freak who recognizes that particular movie title, then congratulations: You're officially my friend.

For those, on the other hand, who have lives ... I can offer a brief recap: A fantastic B-movie from the early '80s is about to get a long-overdue sequel -- and Twitch has lots of details! Apparently Lee Horsley will be returning for the sequel, and he'll be joined by the likes of Christopher Lambert, Kevin Sorbo and Victoria Maurette. The outlandishly prolific filmmaker Albert Pyun had this to say about the project: "It's got a sexy sorceress, hordes of demonic vampires, a giant serpent, sea pirates, nasty sword (and axe, spear, leg of cow) fights and gore and nudity galore. Everything that a rousing adventure needs to have."

So while I'm a little disappointed in Twitch's news that the movie will be more of a sequel "in spirit" than anything else, I'm just glad Mr. Pyun keeps his promises: He told us (years ago) that Talon would return in Tales of the Ancient Empire, and it sure looks like he will be. (Don't forget the sword!)

You'd have to be a seriously passionate fan of garbage cinema to recognize the name Albert Pyun. And you'd have to be a mega-maniacal ultra-wacko punishment-glutton to actually sit down and watch all of his films. For those who are less than familiar with the Pyun ouevre and suspect that I'm just being mean, I'll now list every film the man's ever made, only I'm leaving one out for a second. Ready? (You might want to sit down first.)

Radioactive Dreams (1985), Dangerously Close (1986), Pleasure Planet (1987), Down Twisted (1987), Alien from L.A. (1988), Journey to the Center of the Earth (1989), Deceit (1989), Cyborg (1989), Captain America (1990), Bloodmatch (1991), Kickboxer 2: The Road Back (1991), Dollman (1991), Nemesis (1993), Arcade (1993), Knights (1993), Brain Smasher: A Love Story (1993), Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor (1994), Hong Kong '97 (1994), Spitfire (1995), Heatseeker (1995), Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995), Ravenhawk (1996), Nemesis 3: Prey Harder (1996), Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (1996), Nemesis 4: Death Angel (1997), Blast (1997), Omega Doom (1997), Mean Guns (1997), Crazy Six (1998), Postmortem (1998), The Wrecking Crew (1999), Urban Menace (1999), Corrupt (1999), Ticker (2001) and Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon (2004).

I know. (I bolded my favorites.) He's like the anti-Spielberg, and if you've seen more than five or six of these titles then you know what I mean. But I left the Hawaiian-born schlock-maker's very first flick off the list -- because I absolutely love it. It's a 1982 Conan wannabe called The Sword and the Sorcerer, and I've been a massive fan of this freaky little B-flick since the day I first saw it on HBO in 1984. It's mostly an action-adventure thing, but it's also got doses of hardcore action, gory horror, tongue-in-cheek comedy ... and whatever else Pyun and company opted to toss into the blender. It not only stars Lee Horsley and Simon MacCorkindale, but it's also got Richard Lynch, Reb Brown and Richard (yes, Bull from Night Court) Moll as an evil warlock who pulls people's hearts out. It's got tons of action, giant snakes, a hearty sprinkling of sexiness ... and a pre-credits message that says "Talon will return in Tales of the Ancient Empire." (Talon was the hero of the piece.)

So the years went by and I revisited The Sword and the Sorcerer a few more times (especially when Anchor Bay released it on DVD), but I never actually thought A.P. would ever actually MAKE the thing. But guess what? According to an email from Mr. Pyun to AICN's Moriarty, it looks like production on Tales of the Ancient Empire will be shooting in Tunisia come October. That's all the info the director would share, but color me stunned regardless. For his part, Lee "Talon" Horsley just finished a supporting gig in Wayne Kramer's Crossing Over, so maybe he's ready to wield that wacky three-bladed sword one more time. (Seriously, you guys have to rent The Sword and the Sorcerer.)

More news on this mega-highly-anticipated-by-me sequel as it becomes available. Yeah, I really love the '80s flick cheese. That's why Cinematical hired me. You go Pyun!

One of the very few near-perfect horror films is John Carpenter's The Thing -- and Universal's been trying to resurrect this bad boy for years now. Whether it was a sequel, a remake, a TV movie (or series) or even the rather cool video game from a few years back, this well-adored mega-monster movie has inspired a lot of new ideas -- most of which never get off the ground.

Well, now Fangoria brings word that a prequel is the newest experiment, and you know what -- I actually kinda like the idea. True, there's something wonderfully creepy about the mysteries surrounding the origins of that shape-shifting alien bastard -- but if Uni gets the right screenwriters and doesn't monkey around with backstory too much, heck, a Thing prequel might be a pretty cool movie. Strike Entertainment (The Rundown, Slither, Dawn of the Dead) are the ones behind the project, and apparently they're sifting through interested screenwriters as we speak.

Well-known but fun trivia about The Thing: It opened two weeks after E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, which led a lot of movie-writers to assume that "moviegoers preferred nice aliens" back in 1982, thereby explaining The Thing's critical and box office demise. (I say the thing's just too damn gory for general audiences -- even if the effects are now considered the Sistine Chapel of Splat.) The Thing opened against Blade Runner (and Megaforce!), and grossed less than $14 million in total. To put that in some perspective, here are some other 1982 tallies: The Sword and the Sorcerer ($39.1 million), Young Doctors in Love ($30.6 million), The Toy ($47.1 million). Not helping matters: Roger Ebert referred to the film as "a geek show, a gross-out movie," while (if memory serves) most other critics were considerably less friendly than that.

Me, I watch The Thing about twice a year. And it still rocks.