sylvester stallone Tagged Articles at Cinematical

In February, Kevin James signed on to play The Zookeeper in MGM's upcoming live action comedy. At the time, the plot was described as the story of a zookeeper who decides to leave the zoo because he's having trouble meeting a girl ... but the animals intervene. Now we know what that intervention is. The guy wants to win back the woman of his dreams, so the animals teach him their methods of dating and mating. I hate to say it, but this sounds cute.

The instructors of ze love, according to Variety, will be Adam Sandler as a capuchin monkey, Cher as a giraffe, Jon Favreau as a bear, Sylvester Stallone as a lion, and Judd Apatow as an elephant. I think they missed an opportunity by not making Sly a stallion, but otherwise, those voices could make for an interesting set of mating rituals.

Jim Breuer, Faizon Love, and Bas Rutten are rounding out the voice cast, but there's also one other name on the roster -- Rosario Dawson. Yes, she will play the woman of his dreams. Oh, men must love the fantasies that Hollywood provides.

The idea of anthropomorphized animals teaching a lonely sap mating rituals could make for a lot of comedy -- if they're allowed to really dip into the mating rituals. Do you think this James laffer will live up to the promise, or pale in comparison to projects like Green Porno?

One of my favorite things in the world is a musical gone wrong. I don't know, there's just something particularly funny about watching a musical number go down in flames -- and the more awkward the better. Well, at least I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, because Over at Den of Geek they have compiled a list of the Top 10 Worst Musical Moments in Movies. Now, they didn't just limit themselves to straight musicals, but the results are a trip down memory lane for me and a nightmare for most people. Taking the number one spot was a pretty obscure moment starring Hollywood Legend Mae West and Timothy Dalton (the much-maligned Bond) in the 1978 musical, Sextette. There are plenty of cringe-worthy moments in this film, but the highlight is Geek's selection: Dalton and West singing (and I use the term loosely) Love Will Keep Us Together. There's really nothing more to say, mainly because I seem to have lost the power of comprehension after watching that clip.

So who else managed to make the list? Well, we've got Vanilla Ice in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, Pierce Brosnan ruining ABBA songs in Mamma Mia, Neil Diamond in black face for The Jazz Singer, and my personal favorite -- a clip from Rhinestone starring Sylvester Stallone as a NYC cabbie turned country singer. But, after looking at Geek's list, I noticed a few omissions (at least in my opinion) so I decided to do a little listing of my own.

After the jump: my top 5 worst moments in Musical history...

James Wallace over at Gordon and the Whale had the cojones to corner Danny Trejo at CineVegas and got some tasty details from the tattooed tough guy.

Trejo confirmed that he is still starring in Robert Rodriguez's Machete as the title character, and that it's going to start filming in just five short weeks. Machete started as one of the fake trailers in Grindhouse, which was, some might say, one of the best parts of the double feature. The other fake trailer rumored to get the full-length treatment, Eli Roth's Thanksgiving, is listed as in development on IMDb, but as the other news from Trejo proves, even IMDb sometimes gets it wrong.

Although IMDb lists Trejo as a rumored cast member of Stallone's next blow-'em-up, The Expendables, Trejo told Wallace "his name was associated with the film for some unknown reason and he was never contacted by Sylvester Stallone or anyone involved with the film." Kind of a bummer -- for them!

Meanwhile, I'm really looking forward to another upcoming Trejo flick, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, which is Rob Zombie's first animated film. Am I alone here, or what?

Would there be anything more embarrassing than getting yer tuckus handed to you on a plate by Sean "P Diddy" Combs?

Okay yes, there would be, but one would still think that Colm Meaney could hold his own. The dude has traveled extensively through space and even faced Con Air! But with the magic of movies, Diddy gets to beat on Meany for the upcoming comedy Get Him to the Greek, and Just Jared has a slew of images outlining the action, including the one to the right. In the scene, Diddy drags Meany away, beats on him, and then races after stars Russell Brand and Jonah Hill -- who are trying to get to a show at the Greek.

Meanwhile, Sylvester Stallone gets another chance to grimace in a scene from The Expendables. In this new picture, up at AICN, Sly is hanging off of a seaplane, trying to pull himself inside as it takes off and pull off the most impressive pull-up in history. That man has a face for things like this; that snarl was just made for feats of heroism too impressive to be real. It also makes me wonder how Sly would hold up if he faced off against our beloved superheroes. Methinks he could do some real damage on Batman, at the very least.



Between this image and the shot of Eric Roberts getting his taste of Expendables action, I'm actually dying to see this. It's tapping into my goofy action love in much the same way that the GI Joe trailer made me think: Must. See. This. How about you?

With Death Wish being remade by Sylvester Stallone, it was clear that the entire Charles Bronson back catalog is up for grabs ... and the next up is 1973's The Mechanic. Last year, it was also reportedly being redone by Stallone, but it's now in new hands. Unfortunately, they're the hands of Simon West, who has nabbed his second remake job according to Variety. So now you know it'll look more like Con Air and Tomb Raider, and less grim and gritty, though it is being produced and updated by the original Mechanic men, Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff.

The upside (to me, anyway) is that it will star the deliciously surly Jason Statham in the lead role -- and frankly, if you are going to remake a Bronson movie, Statham is your man. I think he's the closest we have to the manly men of 70s B-Movies and that we'll all live to see Crank remade by whoever succeeds him.

If you're unfamiliar with the plot, it goes a little something like this: an aging hitman named Arthur Bishop is assigned to kill Big Harry, one of the head men of his organization. At Harry's funeral, Bishop meets his son, Steve and takes him under his assassin wing. Bishop's shadowy organization doesn't like this though, and things get predictably bloody. The film is actually on Netflix Instant Watch, so check it out this weekend as a gritty come down from Star Trek ... that's what I'm going to do!

By now you may have already heard the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger will return to the big screen in a cameo role as himself in Sylvester Stallone's veteran-heavy action flick The Expendables. AICN broke the news last night, saying Arnie will play Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger -- that he'll be shooting for one day, and the Governor will have ties to Stallone's character, Barney Ross. Additionally, Latino Review adds that Danny Trejo has joined the flick, while AICN notes that Eric Roberts has replaced Ben Kingsley in a cast that already includes Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Sandra Bullock, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Forest Whitaker. And I'm sorry, but if that retro badass cast can't churn out a fun flick, then I've lost all hope in humanity.

With the news out of the way, let's turn to the topic at hand. Obviously Arnold is itching to get back in front of the camera in some way, shape or form (we still don't know what version of the Governor we'll see in the next Terminator film), but do we, as fans, want to see him return to movies or should the guy stick to politics? Is the Schwarzenegger era over, or is there still room for the guy to make a highly successful flick?

What do you think?

When news first hit regarding Sylvester Stallone's ensemble action flick The Expendables, it came as no surprise that some of the big names in action were willing to sign up. But it wasn't like the film had anyone attached who could be considered an 'actor with a capital A' -- however, that's about to change now that The Hollywood Reporter confirms that Forest Whitaker is in talks to take on the role of Agent Will Sands.

According to THR, "Whitaker would play the CIA liaison for a group of mercenaries who are clandestinely sent to South America to overthrow a dictator." Stallone has already secured action heavyweights Jet Li, Jason Statham, and UFC star Randy Couture to star. But those of you out there who had their fingers crossed for that 'Demolition Man' reunion with the return of Sandra Bullock are going to be disappointed since Millenium Films has since dismissed the rumor as "wishful thinking" -- although, I'm not quite sure who in their right mind would be anticipating a reunion between Bullock and Stallone, of all people.

Whitaker already has four other films being released this year, and is currently filming the drama My Own Love Song with Renée Zellweger, as well as finishing up some post-production voice work on the long-delayed adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are. The talks with Whitaker for Expendables are still ongoing, but it's going to be an awfully tight timeline now that Stallone is already scouting locations for a February shoot.

The Expendables is expected to arrive in theaters in 2010.

"I am the Law!" Does that quote give you goosebumps or nightmares? Sylvester Stallone uttered those words as Judge Dredd in the awful 1995 sci-fi action flick, featuring Diane Lane as his partner, Rob Schneider as his comic sidekick, Armand Assante as the villain, and Max von Sydow as the Chief Justice. Now a new version of the British comic strip character will be coming to the big screen, with production scheduled to begin next year, according to an announcement at the 2000 AD web site.

Judge Dredd began life in the second issue of the magazine anthology 2000 AD. In a time when Judges are running a huge megapolis, Judge Dredd was empowered to enforce the law, sentence offenders, and carry out the punishment. The premise sounded ideal for adaptation, but the 1995 movie version, directed by Danny Cannon, was tired and generic; Schneider was especially annoying. It lacked any zip or zest; fans noted that Dredd never removed his helmet in the strip and, more importantly, complained that the dry humor was missing and the mythology was left out. Stallone himself feels that the film was "a real missed opportunity," and told Uncut magazine that "great potential" was wasted. "We shouldn't have tried to make it Hamlet; it's more Hamlet and Eggs."

The new version will be made by Rebellion and production company DNA Films; DNA also made 28 Weeks Later and Sunshine. No other details have been announced. Obviously, the right script and director are essential, but let's play "what if?" and try to imagine: who could be the next Judge Dredd? And does he need to keep his helmet on?

There's little denying that Sylvester Stallone and Jet Li are two of the biggest action stars of all time ... but Jason Statham? Sure, why not? At this point the guy's done three Transporters, two Cranks, a War, a Bank Job, an Italian Job and a Death Race. Hell, he's even done his own Conan-style "swords & sandals" entry, so yeah: I'd call Jason Statham one of the biggest action stars in the world. And good for him.

So where was I? Ah yes, looks like all three action stars (a hulking American, a slick Asian, and a badass Brit) are seat to team up for Millennium Film's The Expendables. If this kind of team-up sounds a little familiar, that's because Millennium pulled the same thing by getting Pacino and De Niro together (again) for Righteous Kill. Stallone will write and direct, and after that he's expected to do another Rambo sequel for the Millennium boys.

According to THR, the plot will go a little like this: "The main characters are sent to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator to liberate the population. Their team is "expendable," hired to do jobs that no one else can or will." So bascially it's Rambo teaming up with a slick Asian and a badass Brit. Sounds like fun to me, though. Nothing wrong with an ensemble action flick, and we don't see enough of those these days. Where's the Dirty Dozen and Kelly's Heroes remakes when I need them?

Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns is one of those fantasy movie concepts that never goes away. Everyone wants to see it, everyone wants to direct it, everyone wants to be in it, and yet it never actually gets made. I'm not sure exactly -- I don't think it's unfilmable, but it's kind of nightmarish. I don't know why, but I always want to scrub my brain after I read it. (When someone invents a method for doing just that, please let me know.)

Anyway, Geoff Boucher, who has the most enjoyable sit-down chats with geek gods, mentions that the last time he spoke to Miller, the writer/director/man about town said that he envisions Sylvester Stallone in the role. "Just that mouth of his, the scowl and the way it would look in a mask. I loved Rocky Balboa. This wounded warrior, that's what Batman is in Dark Knight Returns. "

You can't blame Miller for thinking so visually; he is a comic book man, after all. But Miller's retired Batman has a real elegance about him as he drinks hard liquor with Commissioner Gordon, and thinks about the good old days. He's like Gregory Peck, if Peck had ever been an ass-kicker of Arkham escapees. That's not Stallone -- who does battered, bruised, and pissed off very well, but could never be Bruce Wayne. But if they ever do Returns, they really do have to cast one of our former 80's heroes for added poignancy -- I'm just not sure who. Bruce Willis? Kurt Russell?