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So it's the penultimate round of this On-Screen Geek-Off Tournament of ours, and we're down to two inevitable nail-biters after a series of increasingly close calls last week. We've got Ghostbusters, The Goonies, Back to the Future and Ferris Bueller's Day Off represented, but at the cost of beloved characters from Real Genius, Wayne's World, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Office Space.

Alas, there can only be one, so let's get this fiendish round of voting underway and bring us all one step closer to having a crucial bit of closure in our lives.

Only eight geeks remain in Cinematical's first-ever On-Screen Geek-Off Tournament and it is, surprisingly, shaping up to be a real nail-biter Cine-Geek election. I expected some close calls throughout this wholly arbitrary tournament, but I wasn't expecting them to be this close.

As of this writing, the gap between Election's Tracy Flick and Real Genius' Chris Knight was a mere 122 votes. Louis Skolnick vs. Garth Algar? 86 votes. Napoleon Dynamite vs. Andy Stitzer? 76 votes. But the real bare-knuckle brawl came down between McLovin and Data by a margin of just four votes!

So please, spread the word for round four. We need as many votes as possible, if only because I don't think my frazzled geek nerves can take any more calls like Round 3 brought us.




Dr. Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis), Ghostbusters vs. Chris Knight (Val Kilmer), Real Genius

Well, the first two rounds of Cinematical's On-Screen Geek-Off Tournament are behind us and one thing is clear: fans are very protective of their movie geeks. I know I came back to view the results more than a few times and came away disappointed that my picks were losing. But such are the whimsical woes of tournaments, so hop back to rounds one and two for the winners/losers, and then let's collectively pour one out for the likes of Rushmore's Max Fischer, Honey I Shrunk the Kids' Wayne Szalinski, and Pretty in Pink's "Ducky" before moving on to the next round.

And looking at the match-ups below, it becomes immediately apparent that I am, despite my mortgage and marriage, not an adult. How is it possible that I can make decisions about life-altering matters like home loans and yet freeze like Han Solo in carbonite when it comes to deciding if McLovin is more of a geek than Data?

Anyways, enough of my personal problems. To the polls!




Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), Jurassic Park vs. Dr. Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis), Ghostbusters

In the time-honored tradition of last summer's Superhero Movie Tournament, Cinematical humbly presents its first ever Geek-Off, pitting the most endearingly nerdy characters of the silver screen against one another, armed with nothing but their wits and their pocket protectors.

As we mentioned yesterday, we've excluded the likes of Peter Parker because of his involvement with the above-mentioned superhero showdown, and after much discussion, we've decided to also leave out C-3PO on the grounds that he was programmed to be geeky as no other characters here have. Also, to prevent any sort of monopoly, we've only selected one character per movie -- the only pick this really seems to have any bearing on is Revenge of the Nerds, but your vote counts whether it's for the ensemble or just for that one character. (We honestly wouldn't know the difference.)

The first pairing out of sixteen characters is listed below, with more after the jump and even more coming over the weekend (so don't lose it if you don't see a fave -- there are sixteen more to come). Ready? Set... Vote!



Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), Jurassic Park vs. Erwin "Whistler" Emory (David Strathairn), Sneakers

2008 was chock-full of Goonies rumors. Animation, sequels, cheapo DVD releases -- you name it. And before that, back in 2007, Adam F. Goldberg was pitching a Goonies Musical to Richard Donner. It's one of many morsels that fed into the possibility of The Goonies hitting Broadway -- rumors that never came to fruition.

But while Donner seems to be no closer to bringing the cast back for anything more than reunion interviews, Slashfilm has shared some songs from a fan-created musical for the classic '80s film. Unfortunately, The Truffle Shuffle didn't get any musical love, but there is "Sloth's Song," "Taking it Back," "Piano Lessons," and my favorite -- "Tubes," which you can check out after the jump. It seems that Rob Dean and Keith Doughty have been writing songs for a Goonies musical for a while now, and they've now recorded them and teamed them with clips from the film.

Fan creations are nothing new, but chew on this -- Evil Dead: The Musical came out of some fan love in Toronto, and made its way to New York in an off-Broadway production, and continues to tour across the U.S. Do you think The Goonies could find similar success through a fan-led stage production?

When a spec script is described as "a grown-up version of The Goonies" you'll either perk up immediately ... or groan because you really hated The Goonies. (You know who you are.)

Kent Alterman is hoping you're one of those who would still go hunting for buried treasure, because according to The Hollywood Reporter, he's just signed on to direct Treehouse Gang for Warner Bros. The grown-up adventure story was written by Role Models' Timothy Dowling, and centers on a group of six childhood friends who, in the spirit of their gold seeking youth, come back together for a treasure hunt. Naturally, they'll dig up a good dose of childhood nostalgia and old grudges along the road to recovering any buried treasure.

Alterman made his directorial debut with Semi-Pro, making a rare jump from a job as an executive producer overseeing big hits at New Line to becoming a full time director. The shift in focus was apparently partially the responsibility of Will Ferrell and a little film Alterman produced called Elf. The two struck up a friendship which resulted in Semi-Pro ... and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if Ferrell showed up somewhere in Gang.

We'll have to see where this goes, but a grown-up version of The Goonies sounds pretty damn appealing to me. Let's just hope that it doesn't stir up plans for an actual grown-up Goonies sequel, as my childhood memories can't take any more abuse.

I don't know the last time I felt like a kid at the movies, but while watching Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D this past week, I honestly reverted to my 8-year-old self. That isn't to say the movie is necessarily as good as the movies that astonished me as a kid -- because of the subject matter, I'd think about comparing it to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and The Goonies, both of which came out when I was around that age, and neither to which this film holds up in terms of originality or storytelling craft. But as far as holding onto my sense of wonder, Journey is up there.

Of course, it's necessary to point out that Journey would be nothing without the digital 3-D factor. It's actually the first live-action narrative feature to be shot and released in the new format (the non-fiction concert films, U2 3D and Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour were technically the first live-action 3-D features), and while it's far from perfect, it is a terrific pioneer. I shall continue favoring the look of animated 3-D films, especially those directed as well as Monster House, and I anticipate that James Cameron's Avatar will blow away all live-action 3-D films released prior to its arrival. For now, though, I'm telling you, with the utmost cinemaphilic urgency: you need to see this ASAP.

Lara Croft learns the trade from a very old Indiana Jones


Most Hollywood blockbusters spawn their share of low-budget ripoffs, but only a few really successful movies are influential enough to be followed by big-budget copycats. Usually these followers get media-infused taglines such as "Die Hard on a ... " or "Aliens in a ... ", with the labels likely originating at the studio pitch stage.

Though Raiders of the Lost Ark and its sequels were already derivative and referential works, the Indiana Jones franchise also inspired derivatives of its own, some that were exploitive, some that paid homage and some that are only linked through minor elements. So, in celebration of the latest Indy movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, here's a look back at all the "Indiana Jones as a ... " knock-offs that Hollywood has delivered in the last few decades:

1. Indiana Jones as a woman: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

The real source of this and its 2003 sequel, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life, were the Tomb Raider video games, which were clearly inspired by the Indiana Jones films. In the movie we have an archaeologist who seeks a mystical object, which she must keep out of the hands of an evil society. There's an Asian temple, a reunion with a disappeared estranged father and a finale involving the crumbling self-destruction of an elaborate set piece. It's like all the initial three Indiana Jones films wrapped up in one, with added sex appeal in casting Angelina Jolie in the Harrison Ford role. Yet Jolie as Croft is too serious to be the female counterpart to Ford's Indy. Also, while the Indiana Jones films deal with some level of magically religious fantasy, they're at least grounded by "real" or familiar artifacts such as the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant. And they tend to remain just realistic enough to avoid things like giant six-armed statues that come to life.

In Drillbit Taylor (which opens tomorrow), three kids hire a low-budget bodyguard (Owen Wilson) to help protect them from the school's bully. This got us thinking: What are some of the great on-screen bullies? Those kids you just love to root against because they're written extremely well, offer up top-notch performances and/or remind you of someone from your past. A bully is different from your average movie villain -- they don't tend to carry lethal weapons, or run with a group of deadly terrorists. These are just regular kids with a little too much power thrown their way. Your run-of-the-mill Hollywood bully usually hangs with a group of about two of three of the same sex; guys or girls who don't have many lines, and serve only to make the main bully appear tougher.

Ideally, a great movie bully should have one or more of the following: 1) At least three classic lines. 2) A memorable downfall. 3) Hottie girlfriend or boyfriend. 4.) A name that just says it all.

We put our heads together and came up with seven of the greatest bullies on film. Check them out after the jump ...

As the son of an illustrator, I grew up appreciating movie poster artists more than probably do most movie geeks. And John Alvin, who passed away last Wednesday, was one of the artists I idolized. Alvin is considered one of the most important poster artists of the past 35 years, and it's no wonder. From E.T. to Gremlins to Blade Runner to The Goonies* to numerous Disney films, his art is as recognizable and iconic as poster design gets. The Smithsonian even named one of his works, for Brian De Palma's Phantom of the Paradise, one of the best posters of the 20th century.

His name may not be as familiar as that of Drew Struzan, another well-known movie poster designer whose work is quite similar. And it isn't that strange to (as I did often in my youth) confuse the work of the two illustrators, both of whom attended the same school as my father, Pasadena's Art Center College of Design, and both of whom worked for many of the same clients and for many of the same films. But there's no doubting that Alvin, who got his start with the poster for Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles and worked on many of Brooks' film campaigns from then on, was a distinctly innovative artist.

In addition to designing original posters for more than 135 films, Alvin produced art for many special edition and anniversary releases, as well as collector's art for popular movies such as Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. There's probably a good chance that, if you're a real movie geek, you have something of his hanging up in your room or home. I think the closest thing for me is a Blade Runner t-shirt on which his poster art appears. And, of course, I can see a bunch of his talent clearly when looking over at my DVD collection*.

For a good list of his work, check out the filmography on his Wikipedia page, and for a fairly comprehensive look at images of his posters, check out this fan site.

*I just realized that the poster for The Goonies that I'm most familiar with, and which is on my DVD, is the one by Drew Struzan. Oops.