the brothers solomon Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Here it is: I'm sick of this Hollywood strike. I'm sick of hearing about it, I'm sick of writing about it, I'm sick of thinking about how many films could potentially suffer because they're being rushed into production faster than folks have time do dry the ink on their screenplays. It's ridiculous. I'm sick of reading quotes and analysis -- I'm sick of the words "new media" -- and I'm sick over the fact that, amidst all this, I haven't heard one person mention the average moviegoer. The person who's taking their wallet on a Saturday night, and shoveling out an absurd amount of money (if we're to include their hungry dates and/or children) to help pay the salaries of those who want to walk off the job.

"Oh, but the writers! It's the writers that are being shafted!" Yeah, talk to me when they're not making high six-figures on a script. I'm sure not all the writers are making that kind of money, but none of them are making minimum wage, busting their ass to put food on the table, living paycheck to paycheck while their significant other works three jobs. Perhaps there are working writers who don't make a fortune, but I doubt the extra "new media" dollars will help them get off welfare. I'm not exactly sure what the actors (SAG) and directors (DGA) are looking for (enough money to stop waitressing at Outback Steakhouse?), but how about we settle these damn disputes already. Is it really that hard? Do human beings exist out in Hollywood, or are they all designed to bleed absurd amounts of money out their ass?

Here's what I suggest: How about WE strike. What are WE getting? I didn't see a studio executive standing outside my screening of The Brothers Solomon with a coupon for a free tub of popcorn and a "Thank You" note after I spent 10 bucks on a ticket and another five on a small soda that gave me more gas than a 24-hour Taco Bell binge. They're threatening to walk off the job on June 1st -- how about WE stop seeing their films when that happens? There are plenty of things I could spend my money on (whatever little I make doing this -- yup, I don't have the luxury of being in a guild) -- perhaps I'll read a book. There's a friggin' thought! I'd like to know what Hollywood is giving us. You don't hear much about that, do you? Best case scenario: There's no strike and we continue to get crummy movies. Worse case scenario: There is a strike, we have to read about it twelve times a day, and we still get crummy movies. Man, do I wish us moviegoers had our own guild. Then we could threaten to strike, demand that with every fifth movie ticket we buy, we get two free. Demand that those so-called "value meals" inside theaters actually live up to what they're preaching, instead of raping the word for all its worth. What value? 13 bucks for a soda and a popcorn is a value? On what f**king planet?

So let's band together and strike on June 1st. While the actors, writers and directors fight over how many bags of money they get to stick under their pillows at night, we'll just do something else. Like read a book. Or take our loved ones out for dinner. Maybe then -- get this -- someone will actually appreciate us.

As I write this, The Brothers Solomon has a 15% rating with critics over at Rotten Tomatoes. Users (ie: average moviegoers), however, are scoring it at 75%. That's a pretty hefty margin, and so obviously people are finding something in Solomon that critics are missing. This sort of thing happens a lot throughout the year -- mostly with comedies -- and no one seems capable of placing a finger on exactly why critics and moviegoers are so far apart. Don't get me wrong, stupidity has a lot to do with it -- and The Brothers Solomon is a stupid movie. There's no questioning that. But is it funny? To a certain degree, yes, if you're a fan of movies like Dumb and Dumber and A Night at the Roxbury -- films that feature two moronic, yet seemingly happy-go-lucky characters who view the world from inside their own ultra-unrealistic bubble. And it's enough to keep you laughing for about twenty minutes, as that's about when the SNL-type shtick wears off and you're left holding (figuratively, not literally) onto Malin Akerman's ass in a wet bathing suit because it's the only part of the flick worth watching.

And I don't mean to be a perverted slime ball about it, but the scene in which Akerman struts out of a jacuzzi, half-naked, while Will Arnett crawls behind, licking her wet footsteps as the love song from Footloose (Almost Paradise for those keeping track) blares in the background is probably the most ridiculous -- and amusing -- of the entire film. Those moments are few and far between -- and they only work on those willing to lose themselves in the Solomon's alternate reality; a reality in which the outcome to every situation or dilemma is always positive, no matter how crummy it may seem on the surface. Take shit with a smile should be their motto, and perhaps there's a message there about how remaining in a constant positive state is the one true key to happiness. Then again, that's kind of creepy. And so are the Solomon brothers.

Halloween came a little early this year, although for Rob Zombie and the folks at Dimension Films it's more like Christmas. Their reimagining of John Carpenter's classic horror flick set a record for a film opening on Labor Day weekend. After two weeks at the top, Superbad finally slipped into the number 2 spot, just above newcomer Balls of Fury. Here are the final numbers:

1. Halloween: $26.3 million
2. Superbad: $12.4 million
3. Balls of Fury: $11.3 million
4. The Bourne Ultimatum: $10.4 million
5. Rush Hour 3: $8.5 million

What's coming out this week? Glad you asked. It's a subtle melding of idiocy and firearms, the same combination that made Elmer Fudd a star. Here's what we've got:

3:10 to Yuma
What's It All About: In this remake of a 1957 film of the same name, a rancher and Civil War veteran played by Christian Bale takes on the responsibility of delivering a vicious felon (Russell Crowe) to the 3:10 train to Yuma so he can face trial.
Why It Might Do Well: The film has two strong, charismatic leads and the director of Walk the Line at the helm.
Why It Might Not Do Well: Needless to say, westerns are a tough sell.
Number of Theaters: 2,500
Prediction: $18 million

The Brothers Solomon
What's It All About: A pair of socially challenged brothers who were home schooled in the arctic race to find a woman so they can provide their dying father with a grandchild. SNL's Will Forte and Arrested Development's Will Arnett star.
Why It Might Do Well: Humor and conception mixed well for the highly successful Knocked Up, so it may work here as well.
Why It Might Not Do Well: The relatively small number of theaters is going to keep this one out of the top five (probably even the top 10). The trailer looks promising, but this is also the type of film that walks the fine line between funny and dopey.
Number of Theaters: 650
Prediction: $2.5 million

Shoot 'Em Up
What's It All About: Clive Owen stars as a gun-toting badass fighting to protect a newborn infant from an evil crime lord played by Paul Giamatti. Monica Belluci also stars as a hooker with a heart of gold who specializes in clients with a mommy fixation. Freaky.
Why It Might Do Well: Owen's character sounds like a combination of the ones he played in Sin City and Children of Men, so we know he can pull it off. Paul Giamatti as a thug? I'm dying to see this.
Why It Might Not Do Well: Don't see that happening.
Number of Theaters: Number not available, though it is a wide release.
Prediction: $14 million

Come monday morning, I'm betting the box office top five will look something like this.
1. 3:10 to Yuma
2. Shoot 'em Up
3. Halloween
4. Superbad
5. The Bourne Ultimatum

After I mentioned last week how hard it was becoming to get a perfect score on our weekly predictions, four of last week's entrants proved equal to the challenge. Way to go, gang. Here's the rundown of how everyone did:

1. Gregory Rubinstein: 16
1. Bubba8193: 16
1. Skyler: 16
1. Chris: 16
2. Lee: 13
3. Matt: 12
3. Mario: 12
3. Porcalina: 12
3. Opp-Neg: 12
4. Jasonsmusicpage: 11
5. Jaimovich: 9
5. Amano Jyaku: 9
6. JBob: 8
6. Anna07: 8
7. Ray: 7
7. Josh: 7
7. Rich Diamond: 7
7. Tek: 7

Here's how the competition works:
Please post your prediction in the comments section below before 5:00PM on Saturday. One point for every top five movie correctly named, two points for every correct placement, and one extra point for the top movie.

As sad as it is to say (because I absolutely loved him in Arrested Development), it's beginning to look like Will Arnett's appearance in a film spells -- how shall I say this -- um, disaster. Here's hoping his newest role, as a "hard-drinking sports commentator" in Semi-Pro, helps turn the bad luck streak around ... because this dude desperately needs it. Arnett has signed up to join Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson and Outast's Andre Benjamin in the basketball comedy penned by Old School's Scot Armstrong (who's finally separating himself from Todd Phillips in an attempt to prove he's actually the funnier one). Essentially this is Arnett's second film with Ferrell (the upcoming Blades of Glory being the first) after recently riding the Bob Odenkirk (Let's Go to Prison, The Brothers Solomon) wave straight into the gutter. (I should note that The Brothers Solomon still has not arrived in theaters yet, but I think it's pretty safe to say the film doesn't look all that grand.)

So, is there a Will Arnett curse? Before you jump all over me here, let's take a look at some of his previous efforts: We all know what happened to Arrested Development, even though it was a fantastic show. Apart from that, there's Monster-in-Law, Ice Age: The Meltdown, R.V. and the grandaddy of them all, Let's Go to Prison ... not to mention a host of other roles that, well, aren't worth mentioning. Is it just me, or did Arnett piss off the Hollywood Gods at some point? And, in doing so, all of his future films are instantaneously turned into crap?

If Judd Apatow thinks Seth Rogen is the next big comic star, apparently some other people are trying to shove Rainn Wilson into those shoes. The lovable doof from The Office is slowly lining up a number of big-screen roles for himself, working with everyone from Jason Reitman (in Bonzai Shadowhands) to Bob Odenkirk. Someone might want to tell Apatow that his boy Rogen has some serious competition.

MTV has just picked up the comedy Kanan Rhodes: Unkillable Servant of Justice, in which Wilson will star while Odenkirk directs. (Hmm, borrowing a bit from the Mckay/Ferrell duo with that title, are we?) Odenkirk calls the pic a "souped-up Pink Panther-slash-Ace Ventura," in which Wilson will play a guy who serves subpoenas ... but in a very James Bond-esque sort of way. So basically, he'll be playing Dwight from The Office if for some reason Dwight was fired and took a job serving subpoenas.

As far as Odenkirk goes, he's desperately looking for a hit -- Let's Go to Prison was a horrific waste of space and his upcoming The Brothers Solomon looks to be another big swing and a miss. And you'd think after Mr. Show, the dude would produce some quality entertainment -- perhaps he and David Cross need to reunite for something real soon. Odenkirk claims Kanan Rhodes (which was written seven years ago) will feature a "superpowered" comedic cast, so here's hoping he hits this one out of the park ... and doesn't strike out swinging.