Remember serials? I don't, because I'm too young, and by the time I began going to the movies, it was already the practice for cinemas to stick to single, self-contained, feature-length fare. With the way screenings are arranged today, scheduled so that both theater owners and studios can get as much money from as many showings as possible, there's just no room for any accompanying shorts, especially the kind that don't end in a conclusive manner.

I'd probably be okay with being left out of that experience from the moviegoing past, but each time another Indiana Jones movie is released, I can't help but think I'm at least a little less appreciative of George Lucas' intent than some of the older folk in the audience. When Lucas thought up the original Raiders of the Lost Ark, he partly meant the film as homage to the serials he remembered from his childhood.

Yet Raiders didn't end with a cliffhanger, as most serials had on a weekly basis. And with the third sequel to that film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, arriving in theaters this week, I still wonder why at least two installments couldn't have been connected with the serializing device. Lucas had already somewhat shown us, through the uncertain ending of The Empire Stikes Back and continuation/resolution beginning of Return of the Jedi, that it could be done.

Here's a bit of news that we figured would happen sooner or later, but it's nice to see everyone involved confirming it. Those Family Guy fans should remember how this season they began with an hour-long episode that re-created Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope within the Family Guy universe. Well, now, because of the success of that show, Seth McFarlane and his gang are stepping up to target The Empire Strikes Back next. Speaking to IESB at the 100th episode party, the very hot Mila Kunis (who voices Meg on the show) said that the cast had already done a table read of the Empire script. Friggin' sweet!

When they caught up with McFarlane a little later on, he also confirmed the table read and added that they are absolutely doing it. When asked which Family Guy character would be playing Boba Fett, McFarlane noted that the "Giant Chicken would fill Fett's boots." Fans should know the Giant Chicken from its ridiculously long fight sequences with the character Peter Griffin -- voiced by McFarlane -- who took on Han Solo in the New Hope episode. So if they're doing Empire, does that mean Return of the Jedi will come next? McFarlane said it all depends on the success of Empire, but that they'd love to do it if given the chance. Personally, I think spoofs of the first three episodes would be hilarious as well ... who knows where they'll go with it. Oh, and if they do take on Jedi, hopefully we'll get a sweet DVD with all three episodes. Currently, there's no word on when the Empire episode will air.

Everyone has a friend (or a friend of a friend) who acts like a complete lunatic each and every time a movie spoiler enters the room. If a trailer plays on TV, they'll shut their eyes and plug up their ears. Just try to begin a sentence with "Hey, did you hear about Iron Man ..." and you'll watch this person squirm, shout or spit the most absurd obscenities at you as if you somehow kidnapped their family and tortured their dog. But it's not their fault they've been conditioned to avoid movie spoilers like the plague. For example, my best friend (who would be president of the anti-spoiler association if such an organization existed) was the unfortunate victim of spoiler rape back in college. After a group of us caught an early screening of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace without him, he somehow wound up caught in the crossfire of a major spoiler (I believe someone accidentally mentioned the death of Qui-Gon Jinn at the end of the film) and the poor kid hasn't been the same since.

Some of us are kind, and accept these people (and their major spoiler issues) with open arms; perfectly willing to abide by their movie rules and not mention anything even remotely related to the plot of a film that's been released within the past 20 years or so. And then there are those who like to torture; the sort of folks who go out of their way to ruin a film (especially one with a twist ending) for no other reason than to feed their massive ego. So, for those people I give you the spoiler t-shirt -- a piece of clothing that single-handedly ruins the endings for some of the most talked-about plot-twisters in movie history. As you can see in the picture above, a few of those films include: Psycho, Fight Club, The Empire Strikes Back, The Usual Suspects, The Matrix, Citizen Kane and The Sixth Sense. It's a pretty vicious shirt, but if you're a spoiler nut and you haven't seen any of the films mentioned, then you deserve to have the endings ruined for you. Aside from that, I'm sure plenty of people will get a good chuckle from your shirt as you pimp it out all summer long. You can purchase one (as well as view a larger version of that image) over here. Right now, it looks like all the male t-shirts are sold out (go figure), but you ladies can snag one for only ten bucks. Enjoy!

So I'm watching that South Park episode the other day where the boys go to war with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas over their plans to take the original Indiana Jones, add a bunch of CGI nonsense and re-release it. Of course, they were poking fun at Lucas' decision to redo Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, and how most fans weren't exactly thrilled with the results.

Well, I then came across this post at FilmRot that talks about the upcoming DVD release of those same Star Wars films, minus the latest Lucas tinkering. Sure, they won't be remastered, but the fans are finally getting what they've wanted for such a long time: Star Wars, as it originally appeared in the theater. Fabulous! However, seeing as 2007 marks the 30th anniversary of Star Wars: Episode IV on the big screen, we're now hearing more about plans for an additional DVD set to arrive in stores at some point next year. Yes, more Star Wars!

According to FilmRot via DigitalBits, " Well, we've confirmed it: There IS a big, ultimate, 6-film Star Wars anniversary DVD box set planned for 2007. There will be more changes to the films, and there will be LOTS of new, never-before-seen special features -- all the good stuff that was held back by Lucasfilm from the original Trilogy DVD release a few years ago. Think deleted scenes and more." Sounds super, but seeing as this the ULTIMATE boxset, does that mean those original Star Wars versions will be included too? If so, why should we shell out our hard-earned cash next month, when they will appear in a glorious boxset later on in 2007? What will you do?