As usual, I'm not going to pretend to understand the technologies behind modern home entertainment. And so, before I begin, I'd like to prematurely thank any commenters who choose to weigh in on things such as "selectable output control," "the analog hole" or any other terms I might misuse or incorrectly explain. The only thing I comprehend about those electronic doohickeys in my living room is that they each somehow connect to my antiquated analog television and through the magic of, well, I don't know, I'm able to watch the occasional classic movie and mindless cake design program.

Those familiar with this column should know that I'm not here to necessarily explain how threats to movie theaters work. I'm just here to yell, "the sky is falling!" from within the lobby of the local cinema and hope that you Henny Pennys and Goosey Looseys are listening to my rants and ramblings and at least try to go to the movies more often (and hopefully buy at least one thing at the concession stand). This time, however, I feel even less knowledgeable about the latest threat, and I feel even more fearful that this is the beginning of the end. The cinemapocalypse, if you will.

Remember serials? I don't, because I'm too young, and by the time I began going to the movies, it was already the practice for cinemas to stick to single, self-contained, feature-length fare. With the way screenings are arranged today, scheduled so that both theater owners and studios can get as much money from as many showings as possible, there's just no room for any accompanying shorts, especially the kind that don't end in a conclusive manner.

I'd probably be okay with being left out of that experience from the moviegoing past, but each time another Indiana Jones movie is released, I can't help but think I'm at least a little less appreciative of George Lucas' intent than some of the older folk in the audience. When Lucas thought up the original Raiders of the Lost Ark, he partly meant the film as homage to the serials he remembered from his childhood.

Yet Raiders didn't end with a cliffhanger, as most serials had on a weekly basis. And with the third sequel to that film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, arriving in theaters this week, I still wonder why at least two installments couldn't have been connected with the serializing device. Lucas had already somewhat shown us, through the uncertain ending of The Empire Stikes Back and continuation/resolution beginning of Return of the Jedi, that it could be done.

It's funny because I always thought that Collin Chou's (The Forbidden Kingdom) role as Seraph in The Matrix sequels was a teeny bit of a waste. I mean, he really didn't get to do all that much. But it looks like the Wachowski's are correcting that mistake and finally giving Chou a starring role. Sci Fi Wire recently spoke with Chou and confirmed that he will star in the Wachowski's new action flick, Ninja Assassin. So far the only other casting announcement for the film was the addition of the Korean pop star, Rain. James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) is expected to direct with the Wachowski's on board as producers.

Chou didn't have much information about the story or his role -- as most of the details about the film are being kept under lock and key. But he did tell Wire, "...this is a part that is built around me, they have wanted to have me in a larger part, and I was waiting and waiting for a long time for it to happen. I am one of four of the main characters in this movie. It is a great honor to be on board."

There had been some rumblings that Assassins was, in actuality, a live action remake of the classic anime Ninja Scroll. Judging from Chou's comments about the title of the film, "I don't know if that's [Ninja Assassin] the final name yet," there is a still a slim possibility that the rumors could be true. Assassin is expected to begin production this April or May, so hopefully by then we will have some clues as to what the movie will be about. At this point I would settle for an official title. Ninja Assassin is expected to arrive in theaters in 2009.

At some point before The Dark Knight hits theaters, an animated direct-to-DVD anthology film of six animated short films called Batman: Gotham Knight will hit shelves, with stories that will serve as a bridge between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight -- sort of like what The Animatrix did for The Matrix trilogy. A brand new behind-the-scenes featurette just hit the internets (which you can see above) featuring director Bruce Timm, as well as some of the DVD's writers and producers.

According to Wikipedia, "... the film's six segments are written by Josh Olson, David Goyer, Brian Azzarello, Greg Rucka, Jordan Goldberg, and Alan Burnett. Each segment has its own writing and artistic style, just as numerous artists work in the same DC Universe. Deadshot, Killer Croc, the Scarecrow and Man-Bat have all been confirmed to appear in the film." The animation looks ridiculous, and I gather this will be one DVD we'll have to pick up. Check out the featurette up top; it's a little long, but it's pretty cool to watch.

[via Slashfilm]

He may not be a big star yet here in the states, but the South Korean pop singer Rain is starting to land big roles in some big films. He already has a supporting role in this summer's Speed Racer, and now Variety reports that Rain (aka Jung Ji-hoon) has nabbed a leading role in a film called Ninja Assassin, which will be produced by Joel Silver and the Wachowski Brothers, and directed by James McTeigue (V for Vendetta). Though there's no mention of their further involvement in the film, one assumes Andy and Larry Wachowski also wrote the script.

The news came via a press conference in Seoul earlier today, and there's currently no word on what the film will be about other than the fact that there will be lots of action. Rain's debut on the big screen came last year in the flick I'm a Cyborg, but That's Okay -- and, having seen the film, I enjoyed the guy quite a bit as an actor. Ninja Assassin is tentatively scheduled to shoot from March to July in Berlin for Warner Bros. I imagine we should expect more casting announcements to come soon, but in the meantime you Wachowski fans can look forward to plenty more fancy hand-to-hand battles from the brothers who brought us The Matrix trilogy.

Could it be that we finally have some substantial Justice League of America news? Well, I don't know how big this news is, but at least it's something -- and it's this something that might win over a few more fans. The Dominion Post tells us that Weta Workshop will be designing all of the costumes used in the upcoming Justice League of America flick. This includes costumes for such characters as Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter. Barrie Osborne, the film's Wellington-based American producer confirmed the news: "They are doing all the costumes and they're doing a brilliant job. A lot of people thought it would be too hard, that you can only make those things in Hollywood."

As the article explains, " Weta Workshop specialises in physical effects such as costumes, props, models and movie sets, and Weta Digital does computer-generated visual effects." As of now, Osborne thinks it's possible Weta Digital will also be involved, however it depends on their current workload. Osborne, who worked on Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, as well as films like The Matrix, goes on to add: "George Miller has a great take on the material, so it elevates it to something that's not a comic-book movie."

Last we heard, Justice League of America would most likely postpone production until after the writer's strike. All this article says is that production is supposed to begin this year, but "this year" could mean anywhere from next month to later this summer to sometime during the fall to around the beginning of December. Additionally, Warner Bros. has yet to officially announce the cast. So, does knowing Weta Workshop is involved help you feel better about this film?

[via Coming Soon]

Following up her turn in the comic-book movie Ghost Rider, Eva Mendes has signed on to co-star in another comic adaptation, The Spirit. Based on the classic Will Eisner character, the movie will be written and directed by Frank Miller. Variety reports that Mendes joins a cast that includes Gabriel Macht as the title hero, Samuel L. Jackson as the villainous Octopus and Scarlett Johansson as the Octopus' accomplice, Silken Floss. Although Miller has hinted in the past that the film will feature no love interest -- The Spirit is "a bit of a slut" -- I figured that Johansson would at least serve as the closest thing. Her character would figure well as a femme fatale who seduces and/or ends up falling for The Spirit. So, now how does Mendes' casting fit in? The Hollywood Reporter says the actress is playing a character named Sand Saref, who is described as "a beauty with dangerous curves." The trade further explains her role as the only woman to ever break The Spirit's heart. Saref and Denny Colt (The Spirit's alter ego) were teenage sweethearts before Colt's uncle killed Saref's father. Afterward, Saref entered a life of crime and espionage.

So, I guess The Spirit won't be portrayed as a complete man-whore. According to plot points given at this year's Comic-Con, the film will actually feature a love triangle between The Spirit, Saref and another character named Ellen Dolan, who has yet to be cast. In addition to casting Mendes, Miller has hired a cinematographer for the movie: Bill Pope. The DP is no stranger to comic book movies; he shot Spiderman 2 and 3, as well as Sam Raimi's Darkman (which is like a comic book movie) and Army of Darkness. His greatest and most memorable work, though, would have to be The Matrix trilogy.

Everyone has a friend (or a friend of a friend) who acts like a complete lunatic each and every time a movie spoiler enters the room. If a trailer plays on TV, they'll shut their eyes and plug up their ears. Just try to begin a sentence with "Hey, did you hear about Iron Man ..." and you'll watch this person squirm, shout or spit the most absurd obscenities at you as if you somehow kidnapped their family and tortured their dog. But it's not their fault they've been conditioned to avoid movie spoilers like the plague. For example, my best friend (who would be president of the anti-spoiler association if such an organization existed) was the unfortunate victim of spoiler rape back in college. After a group of us caught an early screening of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace without him, he somehow wound up caught in the crossfire of a major spoiler (I believe someone accidentally mentioned the death of Qui-Gon Jinn at the end of the film) and the poor kid hasn't been the same since.

Some of us are kind, and accept these people (and their major spoiler issues) with open arms; perfectly willing to abide by their movie rules and not mention anything even remotely related to the plot of a film that's been released within the past 20 years or so. And then there are those who like to torture; the sort of folks who go out of their way to ruin a film (especially one with a twist ending) for no other reason than to feed their massive ego. So, for those people I give you the spoiler t-shirt -- a piece of clothing that single-handedly ruins the endings for some of the most talked-about plot-twisters in movie history. As you can see in the picture above, a few of those films include: Psycho, Fight Club, The Empire Strikes Back, The Usual Suspects, The Matrix, Citizen Kane and The Sixth Sense. It's a pretty vicious shirt, but if you're a spoiler nut and you haven't seen any of the films mentioned, then you deserve to have the endings ruined for you. Aside from that, I'm sure plenty of people will get a good chuckle from your shirt as you pimp it out all summer long. You can purchase one (as well as view a larger version of that image) over here. Right now, it looks like all the male t-shirts are sold out (go figure), but you ladies can snag one for only ten bucks. Enjoy!

Some sicko grabs a gun and decides to kill a bunch of people to serve his own deeply disturbed means. As soon as people can pick their jaws back up again, the same old debate begins again -- Is this a result of the media? Of course -- it's all that violence in the news, music, movies and video games. Impressionable minds pop a disc in, and before they can blink, they're maniacal murderers. As we all know, there was a terrible tragedy recently at Virginia Tech, where a South Korean shooter killed two people, went back to his dorm to send NBC some mail and then shot and killed 30 more before taking his own life. The network package included -- 27 video clips, 43 stills with captions, an audio clip and a manifesto.

Some of the images have ignited a fury of speculation about whether the media he saw led him to his heinous acts. The most convincing of the bunch is a picture of Cho wielding a hammer, which is very similar to an image from Oldboy, part of Park Chan-Wook's Vengeance Trilogy. Did he watch the movie and decide to wreak revenge on those he felt alienated by, or, did he take pictures in various poses to try and excuse himself from his plan? It certainly seems that this wasn't an immediate act of desperation. Also, the Oldboy image isn't the only one that has people talking. San Francisco Gate's culture blog says that Chris Matthews of MSNBC's Hardball is using the original image, of Cho wielding two guns, to compare it to The Matrix.

I'm growing tired of this debate. How many people mimic media when committing terrible acts compared to how many people watch the media and go on with their lives? I would imagine it's similar to the chances of getting hit by lightning. I have watched some truly hideous and violent films. I've played Thrill Kill. However, when I get upset or ticked off at people, I don't prepare a flipping media kit for the networks and go out and kill a bunch of people.

The Browncoats strike again! The wacky fans of Joss Whedon's Firefly television series, and its feature film spin-off, Serenity, are continuing to show their strength on the internet, as SFX Magazine has declared Serenity the winner of an online poll, in which readers voted for the best science fiction film. This should be a big blow to George Lucas, whose Star Wars had certainly been the sci-fi fan favorite for most of the last three decades. Star Wars came in 2nd place with only 28% of the votes compared to Serenity's 61%. There was also a sad turnout for fans of Spielberg, Verhoeven and Star Trek, none of whom/which made the grade this time around. The winners, in order after Star Wars, are Blade Runner, Planet of the Apes (1968 version, I hope), The Matrix, Alien, Forbidden Planet, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Terminator and Back to the Future.

Lucas and his Star Wars franchise also fared badly in CNN's list of best and worst movie battles. Not only did no Star Wars film make it into the best ten, but two of the films held spots in the worst. The Battle of Endor, with its Ewoks, from Return of the Jedi and the Battle of Naboo, with its Jar-Jar, from The Phantom Menace are grouped alongside awful sequences from King Arthur, Dune and Pearl Harbor. Also among the worst, though, is a sequence from The Lord of the Rings trilogy, which also features two battles in the best of group. Fortunately for Spielberg and Verhoeven, one film each of theirs was also highlighted among the greatest battle scenes of all time, which was topped by the helicopter attack from Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now.

[via Fark.com]