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So after what's felt like a gazillion years, I finally managed to catch Jersey Boys on Broadway last night ... and all I could think about the entire time was why this hasn't been turned into a movie yet. (But in a good way.) In the past few years, we've had Chicago, Rent, Hairspray and The Producers, with Mamma Mia and Nine on the horizon. Where's Jersey Boys? The damn show gets a standing ovation every night, not to mention it's got a great story, great characters and, well, fantastic music. It'd be like Goodfellas: The Musical -- and something like that would probably rake in more cash (from both men and women) than most of these movie-musicals to date.

I haven't had this much fun watching a musical in years; probably since Wicked (which is another one that needs to hit the big screen at some point). But when I sat there, picturing how they could adapt each scene and make it really work on the big screen, one annoying issue kept beating me over the head: Who in the world do you cast? Since Hollywood is all about sticking names in these sorts of roles, you'd need four young guys who not only can sing (Valli gets UP there), but also come with thick Jersey accents. Off the top of my head, I don't know of any young, Hollywood stars who fit the bill. MAYBE Zac Efron, but he might be a tad too young ... and I've never seen him do a tough, Jersey accent (honestly, I don't know if I want to ...)

Oftentimes Hollywood's lack of originality leads to overexposed trends. Remember when every action movie seemed to be easily defined as 'Die Hard on a ...'? Remember when disaster movies were all the rage? And then twenty years later when they were all the rage again? Remember when there were like a hundred body-swapping comedies? Well, there appear to be fewer trends these days, or maybe it's just that Hollywood turns trends into full-blown practices, as in the case of sequels, comic book movies and fantasy films based on literary franchises. Nowadays even a promised trend, like the one involving religious Passion of the Christ copycats, isn't necessarily going to happen. But despite there being so few here-today-gone-tomorrow film fads, there's at least seven bad ideas currently in vogue in Tinsel Town, and all of them need to disappear soon, lest they too become permanent.

1. Torture Porn

I'm going to start with an easy, surely obvious one. Torture porn is the latest trend in horror, a genre that changes its predominant style every few years, and it may be the most despised -- at least by us non-horror junkies. I miss the days when a friend, an actual junkie, could drag me to a harmless scary movie that provided a few screams, a few laughs and afterward, at the most, a few silly nightmares. Now, with each new horror movie there's promise of a seriously depressing experience. After watching The Hills Have Eyes, I realized I hadn't been frightened at all. Instead I wanted to cry my heart out. I haven't been to a horror flick since, and my friend is going solo. Sure, I hear that Eli Roth's movies are a lot more enjoyable than watching a young woman raped while watching her father burned alive and her mother raped and then shot in the head, but I just haven't been in the mood to find out.

Apparently the torture porn trend is already on its way out. Hostel II performed poorly at the box office and Captivity may have peaked too soon, reaching maximum tastelessness before even opening in theaters. So what will be next? I'm rather looking forward to when slasher movies are in fashion again, when I can delight in seeing sinful human beings killed off quickly and deservedly by an implausible maniac. Which brings me to the next trend ...

If you're a resident of New York City, there's a good chance you take in a healthy assortment of Broadway and Off-Broadway shows each year. In the past few years, I cannot remember a more enjoyable experience (okay, Avenue Q was pretty rad) than when I saw Wicked. First off, the show is in The Gershwin Theater which, if you've never been, is the Madison Square Garden of Broadway theaters. Yes, the place is freaking gigantic. I love it.

Besides its massive home, Wicked is, quite simply, a fantastic show. For those of you who aren't aware of Wicked (seriously, where have you been?), its story revolves around the witches from The Wizard of Oz and what happened to them before, during and after that whole Oz adventure. The thing I enjoyed most about the show was its story and the many layers presented throughout. For a Broadway musical, I was very impressed to discover some solid substance behind all the singing and dancing.

So, like with the latest film version of The Producers, Chicago, Rent and the upcoming Hairspray, will Wicked ever find its way to the big screen? Playbill.com presented the question to composer-lyricist Stephen Schwartz who, in turn, had absolutely no idea. He felt that, eventually, Universal (who produces Wicked) will get around to discussing a film version, but so far folks behind the scenes are too busy expanding the production to locations outside the United States. If you want my opinion, it's only a matter of time before this sucker shows up on screen and, yes, I will be first on line for a ticket. But don't tell that to any of my guy friends.

After turning his film The Producers into one of the most successful Broadway musicals of all time, it's being rumored that Mel Brooks might be looking to do the same thing with Young Frankenstein. Easily a classic and definitely one of my favorite Brooks films, Frankenstein starred Gene Wilder as the grandson of Dr. Victor von Frankenstein who, after discovering granddad's diary and inheriting his spooky castle, makes an attempt to create his own monster.

However, comedy ensues after the doctor inserts a faulty brain into his creation and, well, Mel Brooks-style hilarity takes over. I'm one of those people who absolutely loved The Producers when I saw it on Broadway and would certainly welcome a musical version of Young Frankenstein. Casting would be tricky though and I don't think Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane would fit in well here. And who would play the poor hunchback Igor? Jason Alexander? Hey, as long as the musical doesn't lead to a re-make of the original film, then I'm down with just about anything. Young Frankenstein was nominated for two Academy Awards (Best Sound and Best Adapted Screenplay) and is set to hit the streets of New York in 2007.

 

It's hard to believe, I know, but it's been a whole year since Cinematical was officially born. Actually, our birthday was last Saturday, March 10, but we were so busy with our heads buried in movies we let it slip right by. A lot has changed around here in the past year - we've gone from being a little film blog with former editor Karina Longworth blogging all by her lonesome, to a site with a full-fledged staff, covering festivals, reviewing lots of movies, and bringing you up-to-the-minute movie news. Now Karina has moved on to another project (although we're very glad she's still around writing her excellent new column, Laws and Sausages, and doing some other cool stuff for us), and spandy-new Editor-in-Chief James Rocchi is at the helm, with Martha Fischer and me rounding out the editorial team, working hard to continue to bring you what you've been coming here for, while adding a few refinements here and there. It's been a great year at Cinematical, and we're looking forward to the next one. In the meantime, here's a look back at the past year in Cinematical:

 

At this point, Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane just might be regretting they ever worked together in the first place. Despite the fact that both of them had careers (possibly you've heard of a little picture called Ferris Bueller's Day Off? And maybe The Birdcage rings a bell?) Ok, so Lane wasn't exactly a superstar - but still, the man was working!) well before they met, ever since they appeared on stage together in The Producers, they can hardly take a breath without the other one showing up. First there was that giant, massive hit of a stage production, which was followed almost immediately by the very bad movie. Then, just as we thought they'd learned how to quit one another, they decide to co-star in a stage revival of The Odd Couple. And now, since that clearly isn't enough, they're getting stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Together! Call me crazy, fellas, but I really think it's time to move on.