the war of the roses Tagged Articles at Cinematical

OK, so this is theoretical: Charles Dickens died in 1870, about 25 years before the very first motion pictures were shown. He published A Christmas Carol in 1843, when he was about thirty, which would have put his fictitious Ebenezer Scrooge several years older, with even less chance of ever having seen any movies. So we're just imagining that if Scrooge was around today, and still hated Christmas, but loved movies -- and preferred to spend Christmas alone watching mean, dark Christmas stories -- then these might be his favorites. A Happy Humbug -- er... Holidays to all!

1. Bad Santa (2003)
Of course: Billy Bob Thornton's Willie T. Soke has gone down as perhaps the greatest Christmas curmudgeon since the Grinch, and even Scrooge himself. His beautifully crafted dialogue is like an opera of swear words, soaring over the proceedings like the wings of drunken, unwashed angels. Terry Zwigoff's masterful direction walks an impossible line between vicious and sweet, hilarious and human. (Note: avoid the theatrical cut and the bogus "Badder Santa" version, and stick with the superior, official Director's Cut.)

2. Black Christmas (1974)
Bob Clark directed everyone's holiday favorite, A Christmas Story, but nine years earlier he made this horror masterpiece about the first holiday serial killer, a nasty piece of work who torments a girl's sorority house on the eve of the holiday break. But these girls (including Margot Kidder and Olivia Hussey) are no innocent Cindy Lou Whos; they can out-drink and out-curse any slasher. Even Scrooge wouldn't accept the dreadful 2006 remake, however.

Yay for Valentine's Day! If you're like me, you woke up this morning, threw open the closet and dusted off that crusty old red sweater you save solely for this day. Your day. You shine in your red sweater and, even though most of the people you talk to despise this semi-holiday, you love it...if only because everyone else hates it so much.

There's that one girl who wears all black in an attempt to protest the commercialism of chocolate covered flowers, so you make sure to wish her a happy V-Day a good 20 times throughout the day. That's right, you're the kind of person who sends flowers to your mailman's granddaughter because it's just so sweet. That's you - Captain Valentine!

Now, for those that actually have real dates (ie: human beings) tonight and are thinking about vegging on the couch with a groovy flick in the DVD player, I must warn you that only certain films are acceptable for Valentine's Day viewing. The following are a few movies that, no matter how great the night is going, you must keep far, far away from your Valentine today...