Get ready for JiJa-mania! First, though, we have to decide how to spell her name. JiJa Yanin (as her name appears on a Hong Kong DVD, JeeJa Yanin as it's spelled at IMDb, Yanin 'Jeeja' Wismitanant according to film writer Wise Kwai) is a whirling dervish of a woman warrior in Prachya Pinkaew's Thai action flick Chocolate. And you can order it on DVD today, as long as you can play foreign-region DVDs, can understand Thai, and/or don't mind the lack of English-language sub-titles.

I'd rather understand everything that's going on in the movie, but there's been no word on a US distributor and I've grown impatient since first hearing about Chocolate back in February, when it was released in its native Thailand. Even without sub-titles, though, it's easy to follow the narrative.

A gun-toting female debt collector has an affair with a Japanese man, which enrages the gang leader who considers the woman his personal property. She is forced to raise her autistic daughter alone. Her daughter becomes an enfant terrible as far as kick boxing and martial arts are concerned, and soon is demonstrating her uncanny ability to catch flies and whatever is thrown at her -- baseballs, tennis balls, knives -- on the streets of Bangkok.

Mom gets sick, though, and the young girl who loves chocolate discovers Mom's book of old debts and decides to start collecting from a nefarious collection of criminal businessmen. Of course, they don't want to pay, and they all employ dozens of henchmen all too eager to viciously attack a young, pretty teenager, and so our young heroine must fight back the only way she knows how.

This weekend's release of The Forbidden Kingdom, starring Jackie Chan and Jet Li, features the first teaming of the two Asian action heroes. (My review is here.) Jackie is older and got established first as a comic martial arts master before making a string of modern-day thrillers and adventures. Jet came along later and became known as an ultra-serious, ultra-deadly lethal weapon. Their relative merits have been debated endlessly, and The Forbidden Kingdom finally gives fans a chance to see them go man to man -- first against each other, and then against the bad guys.

Now it's your turn to weigh in. Who's your favorite Asian action hero? (For the purposes of this poll, we'll stick to the living, so that's why Bruce Lee is not included.) Do you prefer Jackie's humor and larger than life thrill-seeking stunts? Or do you favor Jet's solemn precision and frequently death-dealing fighting?

Or ... have you always been a secret backer of Donnie Yen? (He had his own square-off against Jackie Chan in Shanghai Knights.) Sammo Hung? (The former Martial Law TV star is still active in Hong Kong.) Michelle Yeoh? (Tomorrow Never Dies, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) Or the younger generation represented by Tony Jaa (Ong Bak, The Protector), Collin Chou (Jade Warlord in The Forgotten Kingdom), and Wu Jing (Invislble Target, Kill Zone)? Sound off in the comments to tell us your faves and let us know about anyone else we haven't mentioned.

January's still being pretty skimpy with the DVD treats. This week we get another slob comedy, another football movie, another action movie, another slasher flick and another video-shelf sequel to a movie that nobody really enjoyed all that much in the first place. So please, friends, rent before you buy.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning -- So here we have a prequel to a remake of a classic, and the law of diminishing returns is in full effect. What we were promised -- a dark and nasty tale of Leatherface's icky origins -- is relegated to a sketchy prologue, and the rest of the movie is sub-standard slasher fare in every sense of the term. Points to the team for doling out the gory stuff, but with characters like this (and a pace this glacial) there's very little reason to care who gets sliced and when. Still, the mega-rabid R. Lee Ermey is always good for a few goofy laughs. Extras on the unrated edition include a producer/director audio commentary, a 46-minute 'making of' documentary, four deleted scenes and three alternate endings.

With only $9 million, The Covenant took top spot at the box office this weekend, marking the lowest opening for a number one film in three years. Seriously, $9 million? Man, did anyone go to the movies this weekend? With its PG-13 rating, pic chased after a younger, boy band-ish demographic, however, three-quarters of the audience was 18 or older.

Ben Affleck and the name 'Superman' was enough to boost Hollywoodland ($6 million) into the weekend's number two spot, even though it opened about $1 million shy of what studio execs were expecting. After finishing first two weeks in a row, Disney's Invincible failed to stay ahead of the pack, falling to third place with $5.8 million. Tony Jaa's martial arts extravaganza, The Protector ($5 million), and Jason Statham's Crank ($4.8 million) rounded out the top five.

Full numbers after the jump.

A couple of big names from very different sides of the cinematic universe have new films coming out next month, and they're both hitting the road -- New York, specifically -- to convince all of us their movies are worth our precious time and money. Landing first will be Tony Jaa (Ong-bak), the Thai martial artist whose The Protector will hit screens on September 8. In addition to attending an advance screening of the film at Brooklyn's Museum of the Moving Image next Sunday, Jaa will also offer a free, pre-screening martial arts exhibition in the museum's courtyard. So, even if you can't get a ticket to the movie, you'll have a chance to see Jaa kick some serious ass in real life, which is probably way cooler anyway.

Then, on August 29, none other than Michel Gondry will make a stop at the Soho Apple store to promote The Science of Sleep, discuss his past film and video work and, one hopes, talk about his weird-ass dreams. The Gondry event is part of a series of evenings with independent filmmakers and is free (as, for that matter, is the Music of Idlewild panel next Tuesday night).

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- for a movie-lover, New York is pretty damn cool.

[Jaa link via Twitch]