If you're like me and not into children's movies of any kind, then good news -- there is a whole library of R-rated Christmas classics that you can put on during the Christmas celebration this year and not have to worry about being subjected to the Dora the Explorer Christmas Special or whatnot. Most of these titles won't come as a surprise, since they are movies you know and love already, but there's nothing wrong with a handy guide, is there?

Die Hard

Die Hard contains all of life's lessons. Who amongst us hasn't been an Argyle, completely oblivious while the storm-clouds of danger were gathering over our head? Or been faced with the choice to walk or not walk across a floor of broken glass (metaphorical, in most cases) in order to meet our stated objectives? That's why it's such a perfect movie for holiday-time reflection. You can sit back with your tumbler of egg nog and your gingerbread man cookies and know that you're watching a true work of art, not just a mindless shoot-em-up. If you're feeling really charitable, you can even place a collect call to the slammer and congratulate John McTiernan on directing one of the best films of the 80s, and one of the few movies to capture the true spirit of Christmas.

Lethal Weapon

I've already had my say about Lethal Weapon, but I can always be persuaded to say more. Here's some food for thought: Is Lethal's status as a Christmas classic tarnished by Martin Rigg's unexpected outburst of homophobic hate speech during the pistol range sequence? I'm talking of course about his off the cuff assertion to Roger -- while drilling bullet holes into a paper target with a maniacal look in his eye -- that Amanda Hunsaker's purported lesbianism with hooker friend Dixie is "disgusting." That's the kind of thing -- like the casual pot smoking in Poltergeist -- that eventually finds itself quietly excised from future release editions. Also, we can assume he became a liberal in time for Lethal Weapon 2, in which he's an anti-apartheid crusader. Go spit, Riggs!

Although Eddie Murphy is now "Oscar-nominee Eddie Murphy," he isn't immediately giving up on family comedies and heading into really serious roles. According to Variety, he just signed on to star in a new kiddie fantasy called NowhereLand. If we're lucky, it won't be as childish as Daddy Day Care or Doctor Doolittle, though it does at least involve a child. Murphy will play a financial executive who is given a new outlook on life from his daughter and her imaginary world. Sounds a little like It's a Wonderful Labyrinth.

The script is by Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson, who last collaborated on Mom and Dad Save the World, which I'll admit I guiltily enjoy. Of course, if you're not a fan of that movie, and chances are you're not, they also wrote the Bill & Ted movies! Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura (Constantine) told Variety that like Murphy's character in Dreamgirls, the NowhereLand role is something we haven't seen the actor play before. But if there's anything I want in this world, it is to see Murphy play the role we have seen him play before. That role is any character he played between 1982 and 1990, preferably one with a loud mouth and an asthmatic-sounding laugh.

Basically I would like to see Murphy play his character from The Golden Child, still naive and ever-baffled, but as a father. Then, I would like to see him made up as fantastic characters that dwell in his daughter's imaginary world. And then, I would like to hear myself laughing as much as I do while watching Trading Places. I know this is a lot to hope for, especially not knowing much about the movie's plot, but I like to have my own imaginary worlds. NowhereLand will begin shooting this summer after Murphy's done on Starship Dave.