We wouldn't have it any other way: just a few weeks after the Wachowskis' Speed Racer hits theaters, the Asylum will unleash its knock-off-of-the-month: Street Racer! (To read up on what Asylum is all about, take a look at my post about Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls from a month or so back.) The plot: "After serving time for a tragic accident, in which a young boy is crippled, an illegal street racer finds himself dragged back into the world of high speed competition on the side streets and highways of Los Angeles."

If you thought that the company's efforts to make spartan, homemade versions of studio blockbusters were lovable, or in some other way admirable, take a look at their Street Racer trailer and you may change your mind. Obviously unable to come up with anything resembling the Wachowskis' blue-screen fireworks, the Asylum opted to essentially make The Cheap and the Furious and cynically tie it in to Speed Racer. Of course whether it's actually any more cynical than I Am Omega or Transmorphers is an open question. And the film's tagline, which the Asylum is clearly proud of -- "You're never more alive... Or closer to dead!" -- is kind of awesome, in a horrible way.

The director, Teo Konuralp, made a no-budget sci-fi thriller called Feedback a few years ago that actually got some good reviews. If Street Racer represents "selling out," then he's sure found an odd way of doing it.

Yep, there's actually a movie called Transmorphers, and it slides into "select" video stores just in time for the theatrical release of Transformers. Some call it copy-catting at its most shameless, some opt to call it fortuitous timing ... and most people will never even hear of Transmorphers, aside from the hardcore movie geeks and the curious 14-year-olds of the world. Produced by the outfit that gave you The Da Vinci Treasure, Pirates of Treasure Island and Snakes on a Train, Leigh Scott's low-low-budget Transmorphers is (of course) unquestionably, obviously and in all ways blatantly BAD ... but here's the key question: Is it any fun?

Everyone has several different definitions of "fun" and one of mine is this: A cheap knock-off turkey that mixes the giant robots of Transformers, the sexual politics (and uniforms) of Starship Troopers, the hero of Pitch Black, the subterranean existence of The Matrix, the post-apocalyptic struggle of The Terminator, a whole bunch of arbitrary emo angst borrowed from Battlestar Galactica, and about fifteen other components from sci-fi flicks as varied as Serenity and Jason X. It's a weird and grungy little concoction, but between the florid bouts of soap opera whatnot and the special effects that fondly remind one of Land of the Lost -- there's definitely enough here to warrant an 83-minute visit, but (seriously) only if you're well-versed in the art of bad cinema. There's enough bad acting, ripe writing and chintzy production design to fill three Uwe Boll movies, but like the works of that particular master, there's something brain-twistingly amusing about the whole goofy affair.

A few months back I shared (with much amusement) the news that the Transmorphers were scheduled to be released from The Asylum just in time to ride the massive global wake of Michael Bay's Transformers ... and now we have a trailer to share! (The Asylum, as you no doubt remember, is the production company that gave you The Da Vinci Treasure, Pirates of Treasure Island and the legendary Snakes on a Train. Up next: Universal Soldiers, Aliens vs. Hunters and Invasion of the Pod People!)

Click right here to enjoy all the low-budget and shamelessly "borrowed" stylings of Leigh Scott's Transmorphers -- which actually kinda looks like fun, if you ask me. (Then again, Mr. Scott's Hillside Cannibals, Dragon and The Hitchhiker also looked "kinda fun." Well, maybe not ... the DVD cover art was nifty, anyway.) Provided the Asylum guys don't skimp on the action, I can forgive some semi-sketchy special effects. Looks like Transmorphers (starring Matthew Wolf, Amy Weber and Eliza Swenson) is scheduled to hit video stores on June 26. So THAT explains why Paramount decided to bump Transformers up and day and a half! I knew there had to be a reason! Poor Michael Bay must be shaking in his gold-lined boots.

But back to the trailer. Thoughts? Comments? Lawsuits?

[ Thanks to Film Ick for the heads up. ]

Oh man do I love those knuckleheads over at The Asylum. Seems like whenever a big movie arrives, they're just one step ahead (or a quick step behind) with their own (much cheaper) version. Beginning in the summer of 2005, when David Latt (whom we interviewed right here at Cinematical) preceded Spielberg's War of the Worlds with his own rendition of the same story, these guys have been churning out the B-movie cheese at a really impressive clip. Here's a recap:

• King Kong -- King of the Lost World
• The Exorcism of Emily Rose -- Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers
• When a Stranger Calls -- When a Killer Calls
• The Hills Have Eyes -- Hillside Cannibals
• The Da Vinci Code -- The Da Vinci Treasure
• The Omen -- 666: The Child
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates of Treasure Island
• Snakes on a Plane -- Snakes on a Train
• Eragon -- Dragon
• The Hitcher -- The Hitchhiker
• Primeval / Rogue -- SuperCroc

But the best is yet to come. According to the IMDb, the flick is known as Robot Wars, but over at the official Asylum website, you'll see a gloriously cheesy poster with the title "Transmorphers" plastered all over it. Written and directed by Asylum regular Leigh Slawner, Transmorphers is scheduled to hit video shelves on June 26 ... just about a week before Michael Bay's Transformers invades the universe. The cast includes names like Amy Weber, Matt Wolf, Eliza Swenson and Griff Furst as "Itchy," and the official plot synopsis goes like this: "A race of alien robots has conquered the Earth and forced humanity underground. After three hundred years of domination, a small group of humans develop a plan to defeat the mechanical invaders in the ultimate battle between man and machine."

Awesome! Can't wait to see it -- and whatever those Asylum lunatics cook up next. My suggestions for future projects: The Born Spy, Fantastic Five and Harvey Putter and the Clan of the Griffin. Anyone else have any ideas?