Hello everybody. You've probably been wondering where I have been the past few weeks. Wringing your hands, gnashing your teeth, drinking heavily. Constantly hitting "refresh," waiting for an update. Even if you haven't, just play along for me. I'm a needy man. Thank you.

When I started this column -- your #1 source for writing tips, advice, interviews, strike coverage, and life lessons -- I hoped the nice little hook would be that I am a writer trying to make it big myself. Well friends, after a year and a half of short-term gigs, false starts, near-misses, and one big ol' crushing strike -- my writing partner and I have finally crossed over. We just got staffed as writers on the FX comedy "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." It's a genuinely hilarious show, and one of my favorites on television. I couldn't be more excited.

And so "The Write Stuff" takes an interesting turn. I'm not going to have as much free time now, so it won't be a weekly thing anymore. But I would love to keep the column afloat with semi-regular interviews and Q&A. Please keep on leaving your questions in the comments or at my personal site. I'll get to each one eventually.

The simple fact that former Buffy star Bailey Chase chose the Sunday Star Times in New Zealand to drop this particular bomb has me inclined to think it's a long way from becoming fact. In a recent profile about his work on TNT's Saving Grace with Holly Hunter when he told the reporter that he was in negotiations for a part in X-Men Origins: Wolverine with Hugh Jackman. According to Chase, "It's very confidential and top-secret. I think they're casting under alias names but for now, he's called Mr Yellow."

Chase had few details, but he was willing to say that the part is described as "about 30 years old, a charming southern guy on the surface but he's got some ulterior motives going on underneath. By the end of the film, he's probably not going to be such a nice guy". Back in October, Variety had reported that the film was securing locations in Louisiana, which sparked tons of speculation that the film would be including Gambit. Throw in Chase's comments about a "southern gentleman with ulterior motives" and the Gambit connection seems even more likely. Even with the little amount of knowledge that I have about the character of Gambit in the original X-Men series, I think it sounds like the infamous Remy LeBeau.

According to previous reports, the film is going to center on "the claw-wielding character Wolverine's violent and romantic past, and his complex relationship with Victor Creed and the ominous Weapon X program, as well as his encounters with other mutants." I guess we can chalk that up to be another piece of evidence that the Louisiana 'card shark' might be making an appearance. Stay tuned to Cinematical for the official word when and if it ever comes. X-Men Origins: Wolverine is set for release on May 9th, 2009.

[via Comics2Film.com]

You would have thought that by now 20th Century Fox would have given up on the idea of a Dallas movie. What with casting changes and script overhauls -- not to mention a mediocre fan reaction to the whole idea in the first place. Now it looks like yet another snafu has hit the production. Page Six (the Mecca of gossip) is reporting that John Travolta has been dropped from the cast and replaced by Ben Stiller in the role of J.R. Ewing. According to Page Six's sources, Travolta was "let go about two weeks ago. He had the role of J.R. Ewing taken from him" -- ouch! But don't feel too bad for Travolta; the same sources went on to say that, "John was given a nice seven-figure 'gift' to go away quietly".

So if you are still keeping track, Travolta is officially the last remaining element of the original Dallas film that Fox had planned back in 2006. Originally the film was going to be a big-budget drama with an all star cast including Jennifer Lopez and Shirley Maclaine. Cut to one year later and the budget shrunk from $65 million to what is now described as "much less" and the cast has been scrapped. Also, instead of a drama, Fox changed directors to hire Betty Thomas to make a comedic 'behind-the scenes' version of the series. This would probably explain how Stiller got involved in the film, since he's almost as an unlikely a choice for the role as Travolta was in the first place. Stiller's reps have yet to comment on his involvement, so stay tuned to Cinematical for updates.

OK, so this might be nit-picking, but would it have killed someone to make sure that the first set photo released from X-Files 2 was a picture of Agents Mulder and Scully? ComingSoon.net has received the first image from the set and let's just say if you were never that into the show, then this picture is not going to do much for you. But if like me, you were more than a little obsessed with the original TV series that ran for almost ten years, then it's time to let your inner fan-boy run wild. This first photo was taken on location in Vancouver, shows stars David Duchovny and Amanda Peet on set, but other than that, there isn't really much to say. Although, it's nice to see trench coats are making a comeback again.

Starring Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as FBI agents Mulder and Scully, the story has been kept tightly under wraps, although there were some false alarms a little while back. It was only last week that casting had been finalized, so I guess that director/creator Chris Carter wasn't wasting any time and put Peet right to work. X-Files was possibly one of the most popular TV series of all time, but the first feature film back in 1998 never managed to spark a franchise. When news of the sequel became official, it wasn't that fans weren't happy to have everyone back; it's just that I think we all just wondered what took them so long. X-Files 2 is set for release on July 25th, 2008.

Welcome back to The Write Stuff, where I've been attempting to answer a question that dates back to the beginning of time:

How do writers get jobs on TV writing staffs? Do they have to write spec scripts?

For Part One of this answer, please refer to last week's Write Stuff, where we talked about putting together a portfolio of writing samples. Once you have a good mix of spec scripts and original material, that's the time to start the process of getting an agent. I've covered agent hunting in this column before, so I won't get too deeply into the specifics, but the key is not to give up. If you think you've got talent, stick to your guns. The people who make it in this business are the ones who face countless rejections, but don't throw in the towel. Just the fact that you have completed scripts will make you more enticing to agencies. So many people in Los Angeles walk around telling everyone "I'm a writer, I'm hilarious, look at me, love me!" but they've never finished a script! So many people! People out here think they're so wonderful and talented that big cheeses should be begging for their services. That attitude will get you into trouble. Perfect your material before you even consider heading out. You want to be rich and famous immediately, you're excited, but don't start selling yourself until you've got the genuine goods to sell.

When you do have your portfolio together and land that agent, the agent will send your material to network executives and development people. If these execs like your stuff, they will call you in for a general staffing meeting. These meetings are to make sure that they like you as a person, and that you would fit in on the writing staff of one of the network's programs. If an executive digs your writing and likes you as a human being, he or she may send your material to a show runner. The show runner reads your stuff, and if he or she likes the material, he or she will call you in for a...show runner meeting. These are very exciting, because they're generally the last step before you find out if you landed on a show or if it's back to turning tricks on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Must...block out...painful memories...

Kenny asks:

How do writers get jobs on TV writing staffs? Do they have to write spec scripts? And what about talk shows? (The Daily Show, Conan) Are they recruited? How does it work? Thanks.

That's my goal right now, Kenny. I worked on the upcoming season of MTV's Rob & Big, I'm in a writing program at NBC, and I'm looking to use those credits and the connections I've made to get staffed on a network television program this year. It's a big process, so I'm dividing it into two parts. This week and next week's editions of The Write Stuff will tackle the television business.

Basically, to get a job on a television writing staff, you need to have at least one piece of original material and one or more spec scripts. A spec script is a sample script for a show that is currently on the air. You're not writing it in the hopes that the program will purchase your script. They won't, and it likely won't get to the show you wrote it for anyway. You're writing your spec to show that you can capture the feel of the writing and the character voices of any show. Every program has a show runner, and every show runner will want to read something different, so it's good to give him or her a lot of choices.

How to go about choosing which show to spec?

It's funny, for a movie that probably only ten people are looking forward to seeing in the theater, there's certainly a lot of gossip surrounding it. Cinema Blend is reporting that their sources are telling them James Brolin, Minka Kelly (Friday Night Lights), Diane Ladd, and Julie Bentz are in negotiations to star in the update of the classic 80's soap, Dallas. Brolin would star as Jock Ewing, Ladd would play Ms. Ellie, and Kelly would take over from Victoria Principal in the part of Pamela Ewing.

Last April, word spread that the production had stalled, and I think most of us thought this would be the last anyone would hear about the film. But, this August, Scott brought us the news that the film was not only back on track, but this time it would be made as a comedy with Betty Thomas at the helm. There was was no more talk of Jennifer Lopez and Luke Wilson, but John Travolta is supposedly still on board to play the big kahuna himself; J.R. Ewing.

If Blend's sources can be trusted, then the film has gone back to being a drama and the comedy script has been tossed -- yeesh, can't these people make up their minds? But I would be inclined to believe that the film will be a comedy after all since Thomas has signed on to direct. Dallas is expected to go into production this summer, that is if they can ever make up their minds about what movie they are going to make. Oh, and there's also a little strike that might happen too.

I'm getting a feeling that I should get used to the idea of seeing a lot of vampire movies over the coming year. Variety reports that Bionic Woman writer/producer Laeta Kalogridis has been hired to do a major overhaul of the script for New Line's vampire action flick, Darksiders. The story centers on an FBI agent who teams with a group of vampires to stop an arms dealer in possession of some particularly nasty biochemical weapons. Now maybe I'm just picky about my bloodsuckers, but the idea sounds a little lame on paper, so I hope Kalogridis is planning some major changes. The original script was written by Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein and was purchased by New Line back in 2001. Parker and Jennewein's last writing credit was the disastrous Ri¢hie Ri¢h adaptation back in 1994.

Unfortunately, Kalogridis also has a spotty record when it comes to scripts, having written both Alexander and Pathfinder. But I guess it's still better than being responsible for Ri¢hie Ri¢h. Kalogridis will be continuing to work on NBC's Bionic Woman, and has already committed to working with James Cameron on the graphic novel adaptation Battle Angel, and The Dive for Fox. New Line is going to have to wait until the finished script is ready before they can begin looking for a director. In the past, both David Goyer and Jonathan Hensleigh were attached to Darksiders to direct. But considering Goyer already has a vampire flick of his very own, I doubt he'll be returning. Unless Kalogridis and New Line can work quickly, I wouldn't expect the film to go intro production before the dreaded Hollywood strike begins.

Fans of the classic anime Astro Boy were probably relieved when Mark had reported last year that the new feature film would not be headed for a 'Hollywood' update. Instead, it was going to take a strictly 'classic' approach to creating an animated feature film -- albeit one with the latest technology. Latino Review has posted an early glimpse at the poster for the flick. I'll admit; I don't know much about Astro Boy (although I always did dig his groovy red 'Rocket Boots') but the eye catching one-sheet does command your attention whether you're a fan or not. Simple, and straight to the point -- which isn't necessarily an easy trick to pull off. The last anyone had heard from the film was in 2006 -- until last week, when IGN reported that Warner Brothers and The Weinstein Company had joined forces with Japan's ImagiAnimation Studios to distribute the film.

Originally broadcast on Japanese television in 1963, the story of Astro Boy is a relatively simple one. Astro Boy (aka Mighty Atom) is a cyborg who was abandoned by his creator and eventually taken in by a kindly professor. Atom then puts his super strength and skills to good use fighting crime and injustice -- usually battling other cyborgs or a variety of other kinds of technology gone awry. Plans for a feature film version have been kicked around since 2001, but it wasn't until last fall that Colin Brady was finally attached to direct. Brady has made a career in visual effects and animation, and Astro Boy will mark his second directorial effort (his first was Everybody's Hero, although he was uncredited). Astro Boy is scheduled for release in 2009.

So I guess now vampire flicks are the new Western. No sooner did we get news on two new vamp flicks in development and now there is already another one to add to the pile. Shock Till You Drop is reporting that Mick Garris (creator of the Masters of Horror and Fear Itself series) will be at the helm for a remake of the obscure 1979 Australian vampire flick, Thirst. The story centers on two women who are decedents of the infamous Elizabeth Bathory and are caught up in a plot for a 'blood-harvesting' facility -- for the Buffy fans out there, just think back to the episode The Wish. Garris tells Shock, "Not many people know the film (Thirst). I love the take on it - the blood farm of acolytes, the sycophants who are willing to give blood to the regal, but setting it in something contemporary and American". Thirst was directed by Rob Hardy, who fans of the new Battle Star Galactica might recognize as director of a few episodes.

Thirst would be Garris' second attempt at directing a feature film; back in 2004 he had written and directed an adaptation of Stephen King's Riding the Bullet. Garris also told Shock that he still has designs on adapting another King title, Bag of Bones. Garris will also produce Tobe Hooper's adaptation of From a Buick 8 (another King story). Garris was keeping most of the details about Thirst to himself, telling Shock, "I'm not going to give anything away about it, but it's a really different take". Luckily, the original is not that well known, so most of us won't even know the difference. Well, those of us who don't have a thirst for blood, that is.