The guys over at Twitch know a heck of a lot more about crazy Asian cinema than I do -- so when they posted a rather enthusiastic piece about an upcoming flick called Tokyo Gore Police, I was sufficiently intrigued. And then I watched the 5-minute promo clip, which is all sorts of maniacally insane. Now I officially cannot wait to throw my eyeballs at the flick, which comes from the guys who gave you Uzumaki, Meatball Machine, and many other memorably bizarre imports.

I'd be happy to embed the trailer right here, if only for simple convenience, but since the Tokyo Gore Police clip is all but awash in hardcore gore, violence and random nakedness, I'll just point you towards Twitch for the gooey goods. (This sort of stuff is their specialty, after all.) No word on a U.S. distributor just yet (for all I know the flick's still being finished), but I'm betting I'll come across the Tokyo Gore Police at a genre-flavored festival some time soon. (And again, fair warning: Don't check this clip if you have an aversion towards hilariously over-the-top gore geysers.)

If you thought Rose McGowan with the machine gun leg was something else, just wait till you feast your eyes on The Machine Girl! Yes, that's right: A sweet Japanese teenage lass has been damaged beyond repair by the evil Yakuza, but with the help of a stump-mounted machine gun (and a whole bunch of other freaky weapons), this gal's gonna have her revenge! And how!

If you have a strict aversion to over-the-top arterial sprays and hardcore gore, then definitely don't check out this brand-new Machine Girl trailer over at Twitch.com. Anyone else should feel free to enjoy the Asian insanity. According to the Twitchers (and they know their Asian genre fare, trust me), The Machine Girl comes from the folks responsible for Death Trance (which I haven't seen) and Meatball Machine (which is certifiably bizarre), plus the trailer certainly looks chock-full of over-the-top chop-socky. Sign me up.

If you don't already have Twitch wedged into your browser under the "movie blogs" tab, then you're nuts. And speaking of "nuts," said the master of the subtle segue, Twitchmaster Todd Brown recently had a chance to see the latest piece of cinematic lunacy from Uwe Boll. Yep, not only do they have a full-bore (and very well-argued) review of Postal ... they actually liked it, too! Todd says it's actually funny! Funny on purpose, I mean!

Boll-bashers will no doubt want to read Mr. Brown's review for themselves, but here's a sampling of the man's (admittedly astonished) opinions: "It is brash, bold, smart when called for and stupid when required and - most importantly - it is frequently and intentionally laugh out loud funny." (Intentionally? Uwe Boll? I'll believe it when I see it.) "For a film of this type Postal is an unqualified success, a film that knows what it wants to be and hits all of its marks." (Are we talking about the movie that "has fun" with planes crashing into the World Trade Center?) "I can't remember the last film that made me laugh this hard." (Harder than BloodRayne? I can't wait.)

Still no word on when Postal (or Seed or Dungeon Siege or BloodRayne 2) will be available for U.S. viewing, but if I was just "normally Boll-curious" before reading Mr. Brown's opinions -- I'm now officially fascinated by this flick. Twitch is a reputable blog with several solid writers, so there's no way I could dismiss this piece as something written by a fanboy Boll-backer ... but forgive me if I'm still more than a little skeptical.

The official Cinematical presence at the 2006 Fantastic Fest was the wonderful Jette Kernion, and I think she managed to bang out about eight reviews ... while the fest was still running! I saw JK everywhere, from the queues to the parties to the local barbecue pits. Frankly I think her coverage rocked the house, and I'm not just saying that because she let me butt in line with her for The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell.

But since the FF guys were cool enough to welcome Cinematical with such eerily open arms, I figure it's only right to share my favorite movies, moments and memories of mayhem from the 2006 FantFest. And so I shall.

The Best Flicks

Simon Rumley's seriously disturbing The Living and the Dead, the Swedish vampire flick Frostbite, Adam Green's fun-time slasher throwback Hatchet, William Friedkin's compellingly intense Bug and the quietly cool haunted Brit flick Lie Still. I also had an unexpectedly good time with Mel Gibson's Apocalypto -- and although I'd already seen Abominable, The Host, The Fountain, Pan's Labyrinth and Severance, they're all films I have no problem recommending. Oh, and William H. Macy's performance in Edmond ... wow.

I also trekked away from the festival to enjoy a good portion of Feast -- which was negated by my plane ride home. Lindsay Lohan's Just My Luck was the in-flight movie, and that flick packs perhaps the worst screenplay I've dealt with in three years. Stunningly bad.

Oh, and right before I nodded off every night, I watched just a little bit more of The Office: Season 2. If you don't watch this show, you're plain old robbing yourself of multiple peals of bulky laughter. And why would you want to do that?

When the Cinemasters told me it was my turn to do a Film Blog Group Hug, I knew it was time for some of the horror-heads to get a little extra time in the spotlight. Of all the most popular movie genres, few seem to inspire as many blogs, websites, fansites and message fora as Horror ... but it takes a helluva lot more than a creepy background and an affection for Fred Krueger to impress me. So to those blogs/writers who are listed below, I say thanks for maintaining an air of creativity, intelligence and passion for an oft-maligned genre. Lord knows horror could stand to get a little more respect.

• It's pretty tough to come up with five or six movie titles that I've never even heard of, but the crew over at Twitch does it at least three times a week. Showing a devotion to genre flicks of all shapes and sizes (not to mention nationalities) that borders on obsessive (which is meant as a compliment), Twitch is where you go when you need some information on that new zombie flick from North Korea, or that sci-fi soft-porn flick from the southern coast of France. And yes, they show love to the English-speaking genre fare, too. Plus, and this is a big one for me, those Twitch guys really know how to write, as evidenced by this excellent feature entitled The Five Films That Made Me Love Movie Gore.